Hi there 🙂
I'm new here, 30-year old female. I recently stumbled upon the term aromantic. I never knew you could split attraction to different kinds like romantic, aesthetic, sexual etc. Then I did some reading and thought, that kind of seems familiar in many points (though not all). So I hope that sharing some thoughts with you and reading of your experiences will help me figuring things out where to put myself in the spectrum (I lean towards gray-romantic at the moment).
So here some random things that come to my mind 😉
- I actually love reading romantic books, or watching romantic movies, but I can't really imagine myself feeling comfortable in situations that are classically considered romantic.
- I can't imagine myself ever saying sappy romantic things to someone, and I feel a little uncomfortable for example at weddings when other people do.
- I had a few romantic relationships, but they never lasted long and usually I ended it. For example my first boyfriend, he was much more invested in the relationship than I was. He wanted to spend a lot of time together, phone every day, and I pretty soon felt cornered by that. I didn't know why, as I actually really liked him and by character and interests we fitted really well together. When he then started talking about going further also sexually, I kind of panicked and broke up with him.
- I've had sex after that with others and enjoyed it. But also don't understand lots of peoples obsession with it. In general I definitely feel strong aesthetic attaction. Not sure about sexual attraction to a specific Person though.
- I'm sometimes annoyed about people in relationships that become glued together, and have to do everything together, so like when you want to meet up they always have to check up if the partner has time as well. Of course this is not the case for every relationship, and it might sound a bit mean, but somehow it bugs me and I can't imagine it for myself. I'm happy that I can do whatever I want whenever I want without having to check up with someone every time.
- As mentioned I read a lot of romantic stories, and enjoy it, but what really annoys me is when people do tons of stupid stuff just for their love interest. Why do they suddenly get stupid and blind just because they are in love? Does that happen in real life? I can't really comprehend it.
- I don't recognise when someone likes me. Once my best friend told me a friend from school had a crush on me, and I had no idea how to react to that, and felt really uncomfortable talking about it, even to my best friend. In the end I just ignored it (and he anyway never said anything to me himself).
- I think I've had some "crushes", but I will have to think about that more to figure out, in what way exactly I was interested in these guys.
- I don't really talk about romance or sexuality even with good friends and family. It just feels uncomfortable, dunno if it's just because I'm generally not that talkative.
- On the one hand I'm acutally quite happy with my life as it is at the moment, but on the other hand I often dream about having what other people have,
one person to spent time with and have a closer connection to than regular friends. Afraid of being alone, when everyone else is pairing up.
So that's it for now, I have more confusing thougths in my head (next to the probably usual questions "have I just not met the right one yet?", "Am I just a bit too shy and
afraid of letting someone close enough?" ...). So I'd be glad to read about if you have similar experiences, and how you figured things out for yourself 🙂
Happy I found this forum as from what I have read so far everyone is really open and respectful 🙂