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    Questioning, guess somewhere in the grey area aro/ace
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  1. I found out about aromanticism only a few months ago, at 30. Before that I was constantly thinking that most friends my age have paired up and felt the need to do that too. By now I consider myself somehow greyromantic and feel quite good with this, also after reading a lot here about how others feel the same.
  2. Another German here, though the only stereotype of those that fits me is that I like to eat potatoes 😄 As you said culture is very different in all parts of the country. I live in the centre close to Frankfurt. What I like about that is that it is very convenient location to travel all over Germany and Europe.
  3. You're right, I completely forgot about that. But as you say it is really small part of the story and it's more the reaction of the boy that is important to the story.
  4. Les Choristes, a French film set in the 40s. It's about music and one of my favourite movies. A teacher comes to a school for troubled boys and wants to help them by teaching them to sing, fighting against the strict headmaster. It's a great movie with beautiful music.
  5. That's some of the things I think about when worrying about being alone. Right now I'm quite happy with my life as it is, and have friends and family to help if I'm ill or need advice or something. It's more the fear/feeling that for everyone else the romantic partner is the priority and I don't have anyone whose priority I would be.
  6. Kind of similar to all of you. I like it less, the "realler" it gets 😉 Reading about kissing and in movies is nice, if someone kisses irl is okay, but I prefer to look away. I haven't kissed anyone in a while (but I don't miss it), but from what I remember it was hugely underwhelming, sometimes okay, sometimes boring and a bit disgusting.
  7. thanks 🙂 Exactly! And the typical storyline where they start to ignore and hurt their friends when focussing on the romantic interest is so annoying. Thanks 🙂
  8. Me too, that was acutally where I first read the term aromantic, didn't know about it before. Has anyone read any of her other novels? From reading the blurbs I don't think there is another aro character but I'll definitely check them out and hope they are as good as loveless.
  9. I can relate. I'm close to 31 (but can't say I feel "old" 😉 ), but didn't hear about the term aromantic until a few weeks ago. Suddenly some things made sense. Not sure yet I need to put a fixed label on it, but it really helped to know about it to find about other peoples expericences as here in the forum.
  10. Hey there :-) No worries, I'm glad if you recognised some things from what I wrote to get you started. Just let it out !! I'm sorry to hear you have been so unhappy, I hope it helps you to share your feelings and find about others here to feel better 🙂 🙂 🙂 It's hard when somehow you feel the need to try to act like everyone expects (like you felt the need to do romantic stuff in your relationship although you were uncomfortable with it). I'm in a point of life where it seems everyone around me is getting married / starts having kids… A few months ago I felt like I needed to try find a partner as well, started dating but it's not fun at all but mainly exhausting. As I didn't go on any "romantic" dates, but the few dates I have been on we just met for taking a walk or take a ride with the bikes, I didn't feel too uncomfortable. But afterwards I felt more like "Yea nice to meet you, I had an okay time talking to you for a while about random stuff, but now I'm happy it is over." I especially can't handle questions like "what do you expect in a partner?", my brain just goes blank or fills up with standard answers I read somewhere. Maybe these experiences in the last months also made me start thinking about it and reading stuff online, which is why I landed here 😉
  11. Hi there 🙂 I'm new here, 30-year old female. I recently stumbled upon the term aromantic. I never knew you could split attraction to different kinds like romantic, aesthetic, sexual etc. Then I did some reading and thought, that kind of seems familiar in many points (though not all). So I hope that sharing some thoughts with you and reading of your experiences will help me figuring things out where to put myself in the spectrum (I lean towards gray-romantic at the moment). So here some random things that come to my mind 😉 - I actually love reading romantic books, or watching romantic movies, but I can't really imagine myself feeling comfortable in situations that are classically considered romantic. - I can't imagine myself ever saying sappy romantic things to someone, and I feel a little uncomfortable for example at weddings when other people do. - I had a few romantic relationships, but they never lasted long and usually I ended it. For example my first boyfriend, he was much more invested in the relationship than I was. He wanted to spend a lot of time together, phone every day, and I pretty soon felt cornered by that. I didn't know why, as I actually really liked him and by character and interests we fitted really well together. When he then started talking about going further also sexually, I kind of panicked and broke up with him. - I've had sex after that with others and enjoyed it. But also don't understand lots of peoples obsession with it. In general I definitely feel strong aesthetic attaction. Not sure about sexual attraction to a specific Person though. - I'm sometimes annoyed about people in relationships that become glued together, and have to do everything together, so like when you want to meet up they always have to check up if the partner has time as well. Of course this is not the case for every relationship, and it might sound a bit mean, but somehow it bugs me and I can't imagine it for myself. I'm happy that I can do whatever I want whenever I want without having to check up with someone every time. - As mentioned I read a lot of romantic stories, and enjoy it, but what really annoys me is when people do tons of stupid stuff just for their love interest. Why do they suddenly get stupid and blind just because they are in love? Does that happen in real life? I can't really comprehend it. - I don't recognise when someone likes me. Once my best friend told me a friend from school had a crush on me, and I had no idea how to react to that, and felt really uncomfortable talking about it, even to my best friend. In the end I just ignored it (and he anyway never said anything to me himself). - I think I've had some "crushes", but I will have to think about that more to figure out, in what way exactly I was interested in these guys. - I don't really talk about romance or sexuality even with good friends and family. It just feels uncomfortable, dunno if it's just because I'm generally not that talkative. - On the one hand I'm acutally quite happy with my life as it is at the moment, but on the other hand I often dream about having what other people have, one person to spent time with and have a closer connection to than regular friends. Afraid of being alone, when everyone else is pairing up. So that's it for now, I have more confusing thougths in my head (next to the probably usual questions "have I just not met the right one yet?", "Am I just a bit too shy and afraid of letting someone close enough?" ...). So I'd be glad to read about if you have similar experiences, and how you figured things out for yourself 🙂 Happy I found this forum as from what I have read so far everyone is really open and respectful 🙂
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