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Trans/NB Gender Catalysts


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This is always something I'm fascinated to talk about...what catalyst led to people discovering their gender identities other than cisgender assignments?
I had a couple, personally. My earliest memory of one of these is me being a little church sprog and telling my mom I wanted to be an exorcist when I grew up. She told me "only priests can be exorcists, and only boys can be priests." That was when I started questioning both gender and religion. (Also led to some weird hangups later on but let's save that for another day.)
The other one, which I find even more important, was reading The Sandman in middle school. My dad actually didn't want me to read it because he thought Despair could be a bad influence on me...but the person who shaped my identity and actions was Desire.


This guy right here, yeah? Changed my perception of reality, they did. They were astounding, both male and female and everything and nothing and I wanted that. Mind, I didn't think it was possible--Desire was an Endless, of course they defied sex, they were a Being and not a person. Only years later did I ever hear of nonbinary genders. 
So what about y'all?

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I'm afraid I don't have anything quite so colorful as that to thank for getting the gender train of thought on its tracks, though I definitely agree with you on Desire being NB goals. (And I've only just barely met them, since I only own the first two volumes of Sandman--I'll definitely be trying to track the others down once I'm back in the land of English-language comic shops though.) My QPP came out as trans male when we were both in our senior year of high school, and I started poking around various gendery places on the Internet (mostly on AVEN, since I'd also recently realized I was ace) to learn about how being trans worked, and then just kind of noticed how everyone kept on talking about these genders that they had and no matter where I looked in my own brain, I just kept on coming up with "Error 404: Gender not found". I knew (at least back then, anyway...) that I definitely wasn't a guy, but I also couldn't find much of anything telling me I was a girl either.


Retrospectively, I realize that my gender had probably already sprung a leak a few years ago by that point (probably in the year or two during high school where I just sort of forgot how to be a person because of various and sundry Issues) and I only got to the point where I noticed it when it was already mostly empty. (Occasionally, it amuses me to extend this metaphor and think that somewhere in Florida, there's a random puddle of old leaked gender just hanging around somewhere, lying in wait for someone to slip and fall into it and suddenly start questioning their gender.)

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I'd just never really thought of myself as a girl much in the first place, and was always surprised (and a bit creeped out) when people made assumptions about me based on my body parts. I didn't think I was a dude either, though.


What got me reading about it was hearing about trans people. I was fascinated by the concept of people feeling so strongly about gender that they were willing to go through surgery and stuff. On the Wikipedia page for it (I think), it said something like "all people have a gender identity"... and I was like... "They do? That's weird..."


Someone on here linked me to the concept of genderqueer/nonbinary (I think it was Mark)... and it all makes sense now. Kind of. Actually it doesn't, gender will never make sense to me... but at least that makes sense now?!   :rofl:

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1. I read The Last Archangel on archive of our own. The angels, when not in a vessel, use ne/nem pronouns

2. I am inspired to make my own Supernatural fanfic featuring genderless angels and ne/nem pronouns

3. I research gender neutral pronouns to ensure my grammar is correct-


Agender hits me like a ton of bricks, and I am suddenly aware that I. Am. Not. Cis.


... it wasn't as explosive as i made it seem XD.


But it was immediate, and certain. I didn't know what I was, but I knew what I was not (ie Female).


I kind of slipped into nonbinary for the best part of a year, focusing mainly on other things, and only recently have i been able to fully define my gender. Transmasculine and libramasuline, AKA genderflux

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  • 4 weeks later...

As a kid I always assumed I was a boy (I'm AFAB), but as I got older and was pressured by school/socialising/etc that I should be trying to be a girl, that's what I did. I tried on different phases  through my teenage years, playing with both gender role and sexuality.

It was soon after coming to terms with being Asexual I also knew I was in some way non-binary, but nothing fit me quite right as I don't assosiate my feelings with either gender in any way. I started to use the term Agender the moment I came across it as it perfectly describes my lack of feeling in this sense, the same way I lack both sexual and romantic feelings.

I realised that I am trans-Agender soon after grasping the term as I know that I need to take certain steps to be comfortable with my body, and match it to my gender.

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  • 6 months later...

Hi, everyone!

I'm collecting video interviews from non-straight women and transgender and non-binary people on their relationships with their femininity.

If anyone is alright with me interviewing them, please let me know! If you know anyone who might be alright with being interviewed, put them in contact with me!

I'm going to be asking everyone questions like "how does wearing a dress make you feel?" and "do you like being described as feminine?" and I plan on asking questions specific to people's orientations and gender identities as well, such as "how do you respond when people say 'you don't look like a lesbian'?" or "as a trans-girl, do you feel obligated to wear make up to indicate to other people that you are a girl?" or "do people expect you to be available to men as a woman, even after you tell them you are aromantic?"

I'm going to edit all the interviews I get into one cohesive film and then show it in a theater at my school for a suggested donation of about a dollar. I'm going to donate all proceeds to the Urgent Action Fund for Women's Rights, an organization that grants money to activists for women's rights and LGBT+ rights, especially their intersection.

I need to have this finished by March of 2019.

Thanks for your time!

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