Jump to content

Let's talk about fear/worries about aromantic life


Recommended Posts

What's your biggest fear/worry about being aromantic/aromantic life?

I'll start: I'm afraid of my friends (all allos) making their own life with a partners, going to live together, having children/family and consequently leaving me alone. I've seen it happen many times, allos often don't give friendship much value and they tend to take distance once family/adult life swallows them. Yet I'm an introvert and I enjoy spending time with myself but I don't wanna be lonely :(

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have pretty much the exact same worry as you, you basically already explained it for me lol. 

Other than that, I also have the probably expected fear of coming out to the wrong people (or accidentally coming out). I wouldn't be in any actual danger where I live, but I am pretty damn sensitive so people insulting me about my identity would be horrible.

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have the same thing: I really don't want a relationship of any sorts (meaning romantic or QPR) but I still want friends to share my life with, even though I'm an introvert and spend most of my days alone

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

I worry about my family not accepting me, and spending a significant portion of my life getting pressure from them to marry. I hate any kind of interpersonal tension and don't want to deal with that stress. 

I also worry though about living alone and like, suddenly collapsing and not having anyone to call the ambulance for me, and stuff like that. Especially if I'm living alone as I age. (Now that I think about it, I guess living alone isn't necessarily an aro thing, but my being aro is part of the reason I'll be living alone.)

Edited by Fox
Added comment inside parentheses
  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Not being able to survive on my own, especially as my friends get into romantic relationships and prioritize them over friends. The current state of the world certainly doesn't help

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I worry about being able to take care of my family without the benefits of marriage, because I want to live a non-partnering life through and through. Like, would I be able to take care of my mom and stepdad when they're older? There's always the possibility of my siblings marrying and having benefits that can lead to more security for our parents down the line, but I wouldn't want to assume or put any of the dumb ass pressure to marry on top of them, nor make them feel like the responsibility of taking care of our parents is only on them. This has kept me awake at night on a few occasions and has led to anxiety over if I would actually need to marry someone for convenience in order to help out.

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

in my experience it is not that they distance themselves from you, but you just have less common themes, the partner thing is not much of a problem imo, but the family / kids thing is a substantial difference of priorities. but we meet other people in life, so while it sucks, I think it is not something to worry about before it happened.

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oh I'd also add: I fear people approach me with romantic intentions and when they notice I can't satisfy them they go away, without even trying to know the person I am. Yeah like, I fear they see me only as a romantic/sexual partner and not as a person with her own value regardless what she can give

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...