Fox

1. Voidpunk aro. Yeah, I like voidpunk as a concept. 2. Nonhuman. I can relate to this, I don't always feel human, or human "enough." 3. Cups. It says I am focused on my feelings, which I often am. It also says I think about relationships, which I don't really? 4. Aromantic. Loyal, sure. Dependable? Maybe not, I tend to cancel plans often, but when a friend needs me I can be there. I definitely find familiarity comforting and am very much a homebody.

That makes sense. I'm wondering if the fantasizing about friends is more along the lines of queerplatonic attraction? Depends on how the person wants to identify it, especially since platonic vs. queerplatonic doesn't seem to be clearly defined. Along similar lines, how common is it to miss your friends? I basically never miss them, and feel awkward whenever they say they miss me. That's part of why I wonder if my platonic attraction is different. But maybe it's due to another reason, I'm not sure.

I see, thanks for sharing! I feel like romantic attraction has better parameters than platonic attraction when defining it. Like there are specific experiences associated with romantic attraction (butterflies, thinking about them a lot romantically, fantasizing romantically, etc.) But are there any for platonic attraction? I also get confused cause platonic can sometimes be mixed with queerplatonic or familial, and I have a hard time telling the difference and overlap between the three. Maybe I'm mixing up platonic and queerplatonic in trying to understand my attraction here?

That's wild, the internet is crazy sometimes! What are y'all's favorite tribe and why? I have a hard time choosing but I like icewings, rainwings, and silkwings. Icewings because I love the their snowy aesthetic (though being an icewing in the palace sounds terrible). Rainwing because I'd love to lounge around in the sun eating fruit all day myself, also their color changing scales are cool. And silkwings cause they're really pretty and I like their silk powers.

Haha yeah, people can get fired up about that for some reason. I've never been much of a shipper myself so I don't quite understand. If I were to ship them I'd probably do Qwinter (or is it Quinter?) cause I find their dynamic so entertaining, but I also like the Moonbli ship too. But like, no judgement on whatever ship you prefer. It's all just for fun.

Book 8 is one of my favorites! I found it the most comedic out of all of them. I loved getting to see Peril's internal world.

All excellent choices! I'm torn between Peril and Moon as my favorites. I also really like Turtle and Cricket. Have you read all three arcs? The second arc is my favorite, I've read it too many times to count.

I've noticed that I can feel a rush of platonic attraction (or affection or love, depending on the person) when I am interacting with a friend, but once we part ways, I have a hard time feeling that again without their presence. When I'm not around them, I kind of forget what those feelings feel like, and I feel neutral towards them; until I see them again and the situation creates those feelings again. I genuinely struggle with remembering and recapturing those feelings when we're not together. I kind of describe it like I lack emotional object permanence with my friends lol (I am neurodivergent so maybe that's part of it?) Right now I'm calling this "flux," as I understand the levels of attraction to change. And that the fluctuations depends on the specific circumstance of hanging out. I'm wondering if anyone can relate to "only feeling attraction when you're with them" or "attraction but only under specific circumstances" or "fluctuating attraction." I'm also wondering what you all think generally about this situation. Is it the way attraction just is, or do you feel constant attraction when you're attracted to someone (in whatever way)? Let me know if this posted in the wrong section, I wasn't sure where to put it

I'm offended at how much I love your new pfp! (It's Sunny right?) (I feel like I'm not fitting into the thread topic anymore lol)

I'm offended that you assume I haven't been obsessing over WoF since it first came out

I like it! Is there perhaps asexual representation with not relating to "the birds and the bees"?

I've come to understand that, really the only gender identities I shied away from labeling myself with were 100% male and 100% female. I've felt close to it, and perhaps demiboy/demigirl or fem/masc nonbinary could describe me on different days. I've realized gender fluidity is just about a changing gender, and I don't need to necessarily identify as 100% man or 100% woman at any given point to be considered gender fluid. (If I am mistaken here though, please correct me, this is just how I'm understanding it right now.)

Thank you for the suggestion! I am considering that label right now, and it's nice to hear from another person. My only reservation with it, is does it mean your identity is clearly changing? Because I'm not sure if it's my identity that is changing, or my gender expression. Or maybe my expression is indicative of my identity? Maybe I'm overthinking this lol

I know the definition is that it's an innate, internal sense of what your gender is. Can anyone elaborate on what this sense feels like? Is it something you just know? I have inclinations towards different gender expressions on different days. Like, one day I'll want to wear feminine clothing, and another day masculine clothing. Some days I'll want a male body, and other days a female body, and most days I don't really care. Are these gender expressions, or are they indications of a changing gender identity? What's really the difference or the connection between gender identity and gender expression? I don't really understand how to "sense" or "know" my gender, I just understand some days I feel like a skirt and other days a sweatshirt (for example.) Any help or advice would be appreciated, thank you.

I've been struggling with feeling happy with my aromantic identity lately, this thread helped a lot :) I'm realizing I have a lot of freedom being aro and single. I can do what I truly want to do in life without being influenced by the decisions and opinions of another. So, that's pretty cool.

I know there's a lot of pressure to have labeled identities (at least I feel there is), but gender is such a personal, complex experience that the concept of labeling oneself and having defined identities certainly won't appeal to everyone. It's perfectly okay to not have any identities or labels.

True, English and Japanese TPBM likes tea

I think I started identifying as ace when I was around 13 or 14. As for aro, probably around 16? I have questioned since then, and there were a couple moments where I thought I was gray-aroace or even allo, and I'm still figuring it out to this day. Right now I'm pretty comfortable with the term aroace. Maybe it'll change in the future. Maybe it won't. Who knows? Also, welcome to the forum!

Thank you, I appreciate it ❤️

I think it depends on the situation, but for me it was like my aromanticism exacerbated his pre-existing insecurities and toxic traits. Spoiler/trigger warning for toxic relationships:

I’ve been in two romantic relationships, before I realized I am (probably) aromantic. The first one, I was asked out by a friend, and I had never thought of liking them before but was like “sure, why not” (in my head lol). So we dated, but it was a little odd because we rarely did anything romantic. We never held hands, never kissed, or said I love you. I was sort of wondering if it would ever happen, but more out of confusion rather than a desire to do those things. The only romantic thing we did was send mushy texts to each other, which I half liked, half felt grossed out by. Anyways, I realized I didn’t feel anything towards them so we broke up. Then, I thought I felt attraction towards another friend and asked him out. I’m still not sure what I was really feeling then to this day, but as the relationship progressed it became clear he liked me in a different way than I liked him. I felt uncomfortable doing romantic things with him, but I tried to convince myself that I liked it because we were in a relationship, and I did indeed care for him a lot. It was just…in a different way. There was also the issue that he became possessive and toxic, and I will admit I was probably not the best at communicating myself, but we were young, I didn’t know...It wasn’t until a year later after breaking up that I realized I could be aromantic. Since then I feel relieved that I don’t have to be in a relationship, and every now and then I think I may feel attraction, but I feel a lot freer knowing I don’t have to force myself into relationships I’m uncomfortable with.

I wasn't a super active member in the first place, but I left for a couple months and felt a little awkward just jumping back in. So hello again, I'm back! I took a break because I thought I felt attraction and started to feel out of place here, but then I realized it might not have been attraction? I'm not really sure what it was, I'm still figuring it out. I'm still definitely somewhere on the aroace spectrum, just not sure where yet. Anyways, hope y'all are doing well, I'm excited to be back ^o^

Hello! Welcome! What is your favorite gemstone? I'm a fan of rocks and the like :D

(I'm still fairly new myself but) Hello and welcome! Hope you enjoy your time here!

I notice that some parts of it are similar to some forms of polyamory, like not having to restrict yourself with just one partner and letting things grow and develop in the way that it naturally does. Just a forming thought, but perhaps polyamory is a form of relationship anarchy? Personally, I like the concept of it a lot, but I don't see myself using it in real life. I'm romance-repulsed, so being able to clearly say "I am not interested in most romantic-coded activities" and "I want to stay just friends" is helpful for me, and that relies on the foundation of knowing what is typically expected of a friendship vs. romantic relationship. My only criticism is that the article was impossible for me read due to eye strain lol (Disclaimer: I realize many aros don't like the term "just friends," which I totally understand and I don't mean to insinuate that friendships are below romantic relationships. For me personally, I want my friendships to be below on their "priority list," even among their friendships because...well that gets into a whole personal thing, but in short I'm gray-apl/apl-spec and also get exhausted from talking and hanging out with people.)