Holmbo Posted December 26, 2023 Share Posted December 26, 2023 I've kinda dipped my toe into polyamory before but I've been hesitant considering I don't want a romantic relationship and I don't really have that much interest in sex either. That said I identify as a relationship anarchist and I feel a polya meetup is the best place meeting other like-minded people regarding that. I have been to aro ace meetups before and I've not really identified with the other participants there. They were so into doing calm and cozy activities and I'm a bit wilder and adventurous. If you too are thinking about getting into polya settings and want to hear how it went for me let me know. This is the description Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeltaAro Posted December 27, 2023 Share Posted December 27, 2023 (edited) 22 hours ago, Holmbo said: I have been to aro ace meetups before and I've not really identified with the other participants there. They were so into doing calm and cozy activities and I'm a bit wilder and adventurous. Soooo what adventurous / wild stuff do you want to do? For drinking alcohol and partying (if that's already "wild"), I'd go elsewhere, where there are fewer "assumptions" about my intentions. Or why don't you try some of the more "accessible" extreme sports? Like wakeboarding or bungee jumping? OK, or since it's winter ... maybe do room-scale VR with full-body tracking? But yeah, going as an aro (and not being interested in sex) to a polyamory meeting sounds definitely ... interesting. One should make a movie about it. I hope you have fun and don't disappoint too many people there. 😄 Edited December 27, 2023 by DeltaAro Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holmbo Posted December 28, 2023 Author Share Posted December 28, 2023 @DeltaAroyour reply sounds very disapproving to me. As if me going to a polya meetup is inappropriate. As I wrote above I identify as a relationship anarchist and I feel a polya meetup is the best place meeting other like-minded people regarding that. If you're interested in my reasoning about this and my other reasons I've been drawn to the polya community, let me know and I'll be happy to share. But I'm not gonna write it as a defence. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Posted December 28, 2023 Share Posted December 28, 2023 On 12/26/2023 at 8:56 PM, Holmbo said: I've kinda dipped my toe into polyamory before but I've been hesitant considering I don't want a romantic relationship and I don't really have that much interest in sex either. That said I identify as a relationship anarchist and I feel a polya meetup is the best place meeting other like-minded people regarding that. The best option would be to go with as few expectations as possible. Since how these kind of events actually play out can depend very much on the people there. Especially the organisers/facilitators. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeltaAro Posted December 28, 2023 Share Posted December 28, 2023 12 hours ago, Holmbo said: 11 hours ago, Holmbo said: @DeltaAroyour reply sounds very disapproving to me. I'm very sorry, and apologize, if it sounded that way. I didn't mean it disapprovingly. 12 hours ago, Holmbo said: As if me going to a polya meetup is inappropriate. I didn't mean "inappropriate", but realistically it's already a bit uncomfortable to go to meetups solo and this gets much more uncomfortable if you are implicitly expected not to appear solo and even more uncomfortable if you are not in the core target audience and even more uncomfortable if people approach you in a certain manner that you strictly don't want to reciprocate. Regarding 4., many / most have a no-cruising / no-hookup-attempts policy, but there are always a good deal of people who forget about that. I'm not available. I have nothing to talk about, since I neither feel compersion, nor jealousy, don't live and don't desire a poly lifestyle. I'd rank this as a 7 / 10 on the social uncomfortability scale at the very least. If you check the boxes on 1. to 4. and still want to go, I'm surprised. My friend is poly and in a triad, so I know I wouldn't appear in such meetups. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alto Posted December 28, 2023 Share Posted December 28, 2023 Have fun! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holmbo Posted December 29, 2023 Author Share Posted December 29, 2023 @DeltaAron from your follow up post I get zero indication that you're interested in hearing why I want to go. So I won't reply to any of your additional assumptions about my preferences or the expectations of the venue. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holmbo Posted January 9 Author Share Posted January 9 Update: I know went and I had a great time. Everyone was really nice and relaxed. I also met three other people I know already from other contexts so that was fun. I only knew one of them was going. I left after just two hours because it's pretty intense mingling around talking to a bunch of new people, but I'm definitely coming back. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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