Wrestling with imposter syndrome/denial

[Guest Cynocephalus]

I tend to mull about before confirming something about myself, and may need some input. I have been questioning for 3+ years and have realized that my experiences line up with being aromantic, I went on and off with acceptance since i was 17. I have sometimes thought 'what if i'm wrong?' but I know labels are not a static monolith. I have no one in my life that I can disclose questioning to and this makes me feel alone. I know that I have never felt the need or desire for a romantic relationship, even when I thought someone was otherwise attractive. What I used to think was romantic attraction I now know was just thinking a person is hot, no mushy feelings. I remember having a conversation with a family member where she asked me if I believe in love at first sight and I stated no (and this was before questioning), mentions of dating have always been answered with a not interested. I never felt or understood romance, I always thought people where overemphasizing their feelings. If I tried explaining this to anyone around I would be met with either 'you're just young!' or expletives regarding promiscuity. I want to be able to be comfortable in myself without having to doubt and hide. My whole life romance has been the 'default', especially in puritanical christian culture. If it's not a romantic hetero relationship you will be judged where i'm from. I was taught that the first opposite sex person you screw with is your spouse, it MUST be romantic. There is only one person with a pride flag in my neighborhood and it makes me feel a bit less alone, but I can't speak to them. I wish that I wasn't in denial of the obvious. some advice is appreciated. Thank You for reading my text wall. (:

[Collie]

I too am prone to imposter syndrome. I questioned for months and years about being a-spec and often denied that I was because the whole "am I, aren't I" tug of war was so stressful. It was easier to just assume I was straight and nothing else. (I have OCD tendencies, which I think played into this.)
I now quite comfortably identify as aromantic.

You'll get there eventually. It's ok to call yourself aro even if you're not 100% sure.

[Guest]

Real af, and the things ppl say make u have some doubts sometimes which I hate, I know that I have only experienced aesthetic attraction toward certain ppl but sometimes people say that maybe you're a late bloomer, or that nothing towards everyone must mean that you haven't found the right person that does it for youIdentifying with romantic now is also totally fine bc sexuality is fluid(or so they say) and what you feel now is what you current sexuality is even if by some chance that would or could ever change. It's very annoying and disrespectful when ppl try to change something that you have no control over and doubt is an awful feelingI hope you feel more secure in your sexuality soon!

[TrueEvergreen]

Yeah, this is something that happens to quite a few people, including myself. Something to remember is that it's okay to identify as aro even if you aren't sure (at least this helped for me). Just remember that eventually you'll figure it out. 

[The Newest Fabled Creature]

Lots of people deal with imposter syndrome over many different things, but I too dealt with it over an identity of mine. It wasn't over my aromanticism necessarily, but with discovering my gender identity. I thought that I was just trying to be special and thought, I'm going to wake up tomorrow and realize that I've actually been my AGAB this whole entire time! It got better over time, drastically better, but it felt like torture constantly being worried if I was "faking it."

Having discovered aromanticism, I went through a worse period in my life than dealing with imposter syndrome. Despite the beginning of my aro journey mainly being me trying to accept myself as aro, I do have these moments where I ask myself, Is aromanticism actually real? Which it 100 % is! I usually end up thinking in that way if the people around me keep asking me about my love life and why I'm not interested in relationships at all; their assumption that I would either (in some weird natural state) already be in a relationship, or assume that I'm sad for not being in one, sometimes gets to me.

[Holmbo]

Maybe it would help you to explore more about life styles outside the norm you've been taught. For example maybe you would feel more comfortable identifying as solo or single at heart. Since that is about choices rather than orientation.