Peggy Posted September 23, 2023 Share Posted September 23, 2023 Does anyone ever get sad or depressed after watching or reading a really good romance? I just watched a few episodes of Heartstopper with my friends, which I had never watched before (although I have read the comics and I am a huge Alice Oseman fan) mainly because I don't like watching romance, and the comics were a bit too romance-y for me. But I knew it was popular and I enjoyed the friend group and stuff so I decided to give the show a chance. And I watched like three episodes and I was doing completely fine, but then as soon as I turned the show off I got really sad and started crying. I can't control it, it just came over me suddenly. I legitimately wanted to watch the show because I know it's a good show. But seeing like such a well written romance, seeing it develop and stuff, makes me so sad because romance is always touted as such a big important thing. Especially in romance plots (duh). And that just makes me feel so lonely, like I'm never going to have that. All my friends are going to have that and I'm just going to be the one left behind. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just a Bear Posted September 23, 2023 Share Posted September 23, 2023 I don't really get sad. But I can be squickd out by ramance.. it can really make me uncomfortable. I can like it though. I haven't read or watched much in a few years now... If you feel like missing out there always is a qpr and aromantics can be cupioromantic where they don't feel attraction but still want romantic relationship Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holmbo Posted September 23, 2023 Share Posted September 23, 2023 @Peggya At least you have a lot of company of people being sad after watching heartstopper. There's a whole subreddit about it https://www.reddit.com/r/heartstoppersyndrome/ 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keith Posted September 23, 2023 Share Posted September 23, 2023 Yeah, I understand what you mean. I get this feeling all the time, and I'm not even sure why. I mean I feel (or rather felt) like I have accepted the fact that I'm aromantic, yet I always get envious every time I watch/read romance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghostflower Posted September 24, 2023 Share Posted September 24, 2023 I’ve been trying to avoid romance in fiction lately, because it can make me sad, just like you described. It feels like being lactose intolerant but eating ice cream anyway; it only makes me happy in the short-term. I feel bad about myself afterward, because it reminds me that I stand apart from something that other people covet so highly and put on a pedestal. I think that it would be healthier for me to cut romance out of my life more decisively and to focus on finding examples of the kind of (romance-free) life that I want to live. On 9/22/2023 at 11:54 PM, Holmbo said: @Peggya At least you have a lot of company of people being sad after watching heartstopper. There's a whole subreddit about it https://www.reddit.com/r/heartstoppersyndrome/ That’s really interesting! I’ve never heard of Heartstopper Syndrome before :0 I actually have a lot of trouble enjoying Alice Oseman’s work, I think because so many people have hyped it up. Alice Oseman is an aroace author, and there are aroace characters in their stories, but it’s all too steeped in unattainable romance for my tastes. It’s like having to wade through a poisonous bog to get a small glimpse of a lovely aro frog :( 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holmbo Posted September 24, 2023 Share Posted September 24, 2023 1 hour ago, Ghostflower said: That’s really interesting! I’ve never heard of Heartstopper Syndrome before :0 I actually have a lot of trouble enjoying Alice Oseman’s work, I think because so many people have hyped it up. Alice Oseman is an aroace author, and there are aroace characters in their stories, but it’s all too steeped in unattainable romance for my tastes. It’s like having to wade through a poisonous bog to get a small glimpse of a lovely aro frog :( Hehe I get what you mean. She's definitely very romance favorable aro. I've only read loveless by her and I thought it was ok. I do give it lot of plus for including all the aro culture and experience so because of that I'm rating it high. It would be great to have more aro protagonists in different kinds of stories . 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frutiger aro Posted September 27, 2023 Share Posted September 27, 2023 (edited) i kinda get it. usually i just get squicked by gratuitous romance in media but once in a while i also get kinda sad because part of me still wants a partner of some sort so seeing that kind of companionship still stings just a little, even if it's not the exact kind of companionship i personally would want. Edited September 27, 2023 by frutiger aro wanted to clarify my last sentence Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peggy Posted September 29, 2023 Author Share Posted September 29, 2023 On 9/24/2023 at 1:17 PM, Ghostflower said: I’ve been trying to avoid romance in fiction lately, because it can make me sad, just like you described. It feels like being lactose intolerant but eating ice cream anyway; it only makes me happy in the short-term. I feel bad about myself afterward, because it reminds me that I stand apart from something that other people covet so highly and put on a pedestal. I think that it would be healthier for me to cut romance out of my life more decisively and to focus on finding examples of the kind of (romance-free) life that I want to live. You described this perfectly here! That's exactly the way I feel, I feel happy when I'm actually watching it, but as soon as it's over, I eel terrible. I wish I were able to cut out romance entirely but as someone who reads a lot of books it's nearly impossible because almost all books have at least a romance subplot (though I don't mind romance subplots as much because they're not the main focus and generally aren't conveying as many emotions, etc). But I'm really glad that I'm not the only one who feels this way! And I do see what you mean about Alice Oseman. Personally, I really enjoyed Loveless because it was the first book I read that really went deep into the aroace identity and exploring what being aro menas (and it was also the book that led me to realize I was ace), but I also agree about their books being very steeped in romance and such. I did read the entirety of the Heartstopper comics (as of like a year and a half ago - there may be more out now?) and I was definitely left feeling a little sad due to the romance. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Confused Opossum Posted October 3, 2023 Share Posted October 3, 2023 yeahhhh if i let myself consume too much romantic media i can get pretty sad and lonely abt it. it’s only happened with romances i really enjoy and am invested in though (which isn’t many). part of me has wanted to watch (or read) heartstopper bc i’ve heard it’s rlly good (plus, queer rep) but i feel like i’d either 1) just be kinda uncomfy/not rlly care for it the entire time or 2) rlly enjoy it and feel sad afterwards lmao. i really appreciate ghostflower’s metaphor of it being like lactose intolerance. a particular time this happened to me was when i was playing stardew valley and the sims at the same time,, in stardew i was trying to date sebastian (can u blame me…) and i rlly rlly enjoyed it, and in the sims i also had 2 sims in a romantic relationship that i also really enjoyed and was very invested in. the two combined had me feeling very sad afterwards tho🥲 especially after having a dream about dating sebastian😅 i try to stay away from too much romantic media now… which sucks bc it’s everywhere and even my arospec friend has complained about not being able to share certain media with me bc it has romance in it😭 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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