Zariah Posted July 17, 2023 Share Posted July 17, 2023 Can someone please help me with this? I have zero idea how to write romance. I've tried to ask some of my friends for advice, but they're all allo and don't really understand what I'm struggling with. It's not that I have writer's block and I don't know what to write, I just don't know how. Whenever I try to add some amount of romance to something I'm writing, it feels awkward, obvious, out of place and weird. It doesn't even have to be a lot of romance! Just something simple like... holding hands or noticing attractiveness, and I'm completely stuck. At this point, my problem isn't that I don't know what romance feels like, because I can look at it objectively. I can research, and make lists of what people say romance feels like, how people interact with their crush, and other things. But I cannot turn this objective research into physical writing that doesn't feel odd and out of place. Does anyone have advice on what to do about this? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CanadianBird Posted July 17, 2023 Share Posted July 17, 2023 (edited) Not even kidding, I just came back from writing slashfic. As an aromantic. Anyways here's my take on it: On Arocalypse I've actually talked about the struggles of writing romance as an aro, but the gist is yeah, it's definitely awkward. Sometimes it feels stiff and forced, and if it isn't, you don't really have a way to tell. To help I found a beta reader (who is allo) to read it over and comment on the 'flow'. It's done wonders for my writing and I can't recommend it more. (It also helps if they're a close friend and you trust them not to be condescending!) I also think it helps to hyper focus on phrases that kind of imply something without going the full length. In some cases this works even better as 1) it's realistic and 2) you give the audience a little bit of what they want at a time and everyone goes home happy. Additionally if you'd like to insert knowledge your own personal experiences from close friendships - that's a fabulous idea. I personally find it great and really helpful. Sometimes there will be moments where you feel "full" and infinite with love for your friends and family members. That feeling can be compared with romantic love, just slightly different (in the way that it's more exclusive and either party may crave a physical element). Hope this helps? :) Edited July 17, 2023 by nostalgia Bad grammer. Yeesh. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zariah Posted July 17, 2023 Author Share Posted July 17, 2023 4 minutes ago, nostalgia said: Not even kidding, I just came back from writing slashfic. As an aromantic. Anyways here's my take on it: On Arocalypse I've actually talked about the struggles of writing romance as an aro, but the gist is yeah, it's definitely awkward. Sometimes it feels stiff and forced, and if it isn't, you don't really have a way to tell. To help I found a beta reader (who is allo) to read it over and comment on the 'flow'. It's done wonders for my writing and I can't recommend it more. (It also helps if they're a close friend and you trust them not to be condescending!) I also think it helps to hyper focus on phrases that kind of imply something without going the full length. In some cases this works even better as 1) it's realistic and 2) you give the audience a little bit of what they want at a time and everyone goes home happy. Additionally if you'd like to insert knowledge your own personal experiences from close friendships - that's a fabulous idea. I personally find it great and really helpful. Sometimes there will be moments where you feel "full" and infinite with love for your friends and family members. That feeling can be compared with romantic love, just slightly different (in the way that it's more exclusive and either party may crave a physical element). Hope this helps? :) This was super helpful, thank you! Time to go convince my friend to be my beta reader- /hj But seriously, that's a great idea! I'll see if I can persuade one of my friends to help me out. Also, thank you for the tip on what to focus on. You're right, that definitely sort of "meets in the middle" and hopefully makes everyone happy. It also seems more manageable. I'll definitely give it a try! Again, thanks! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CanadianBird Posted July 17, 2023 Share Posted July 17, 2023 No problem!! Glad I could help out :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jot-Aro Kujo Posted July 17, 2023 Share Posted July 17, 2023 Why do you want to write romance? I mean that as a genuine question. Like, is there a reason it needs to be there? If it "feels awkward and out of place", then why have you put it in place at all? You're not obligated to write romance if you don't want to. I mean if you want to that's one thing, but it kind of sounds like you don't actually want to. Like you said, you can do the research and look at it objectively, but you don't seem to have the will to actually write it, meaning there's something about it you don't enjoy. You should address why you're doing it at all before worrying about how. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
furuta Posted November 2, 2023 Share Posted November 2, 2023 (edited) On 7/17/2023 at 5:05 AM, Jot-Aro Kujo said: Why do you want to write romance? I mean that as a genuine question. Like, is there a reason it needs to be there? If it "feels awkward and out of place", then why have you put it in place at all? You're not obligated to write romance if you don't want to. I mean if you want to that's one thing, but it kind of sounds like you don't actually want to. Like you said, you can do the research and look at it objectively, but you don't seem to have the will to actually write it, meaning there's something about it you don't enjoy. You should address why you're doing it at all before worrying about how. I understand that your child is struggling with writing essays, and I want to offer some encouragement and guidance. Writing can be challenging, but it's also a skill that can be developed with time and practice. One great resource that could be incredibly helpful in this situation is an annotated bibliography writer https://essaypro.com/annotated-bibliography-writing-service . This tool can help your child organize their research and ideas, making the essay-writing process smoother. Additionally, it's essential to provide a supportive and nurturing environment. Encourage your child to express their thoughts and ideas freely, and always celebrate their efforts, no matter how small. With patience, practice, and the right tools, your child can overcome these challenges and become a confident essay writer. Thanks for the information! Edited November 2, 2023 by furuta Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emillioe53 Posted November 27, 2023 Share Posted November 27, 2023 On 7/17/2023 at 4:07 AM, Zariah said: Can someone please help me with this? I have zero idea how to write romance. I've tried to ask some of my friends for advice, but they're all allo and don't really understand what I'm struggling with. It's not that I have writer's block and I don't know what to write, I just don't know how. Whenever I try to add some amount of romance to something I'm writing, it feels awkward, obvious, out of place and weird. It doesn't even have to be a lot of romance! Just something simple like... holding hands or noticing attractiveness, and I'm completely stuck. At this point, my problem isn't that I don't know what romance feels like, because I can look at it objectively. I can research, and make lists of what people say romance feels like, how people interact with their crush, and other things. But I cannot turn this objective research into physical writing that doesn't feel odd and out of place. Navigating the realm of romance feels like trying to translate a vivid reading experience into my own story. Despite understanding the dynamics through research, translating those emotions into my writing proves challenging. It's akin to grasping the essence of love by reading books like those recommended on https://edureviewer.com/lsat-reading-comprehension-books/, yet struggling to authentically convey those feelings on paper. Does anyone have advice on what to do about this? One approach you might find helpful is to focus on the emotional depth of your characters. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Collie Posted December 1, 2023 Share Posted December 1, 2023 I have a bit of experience doing novel-styled roleplays. Of course, I suppose it helps that my RP partner was doing half the work in writing their own character. Plus, my primary RP partner is literally a romance fanfic author, soooo. What sticks out to me from my experience is.... actions. How does the character feel? What are their thoughts? Romantic doesn't always have to be passionate confessions and dramatic gestures. Sometimes even just the characters hanging out in the same space together can be romantic. Small things like gardening together, or helping with the dishes. It's the little things that make it worthwhile. It's true enough that when it came to things like kissing and stuff, I had to scramble and do a lot of research to figure out how to do that. I most often followed my RP partner's lead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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