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*Covers face* Oh noooo-


Lunar

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Is this a crush? 

I blush at every single mention and reminder of this one guy and I hate it. I don't really even imagine anything serious between us, let alone a relationship, or *cringes* marriage. And i certainly 100% don't feel a thing for him.

I can and have imagined him holding me, and me cuddling him, and giving affection, and *Hides face again* french kissing, but the french kissing part is an extremely repulsive idea.

I wonder if maybe my grandma teasing me about my redness in the face cause of this guy is finally getting to me, or this is actually my very first crush. I don't want it to be my first crush though. :(

I prefer being fully 100% aro cause romance is repulsive, and I felt nothing in my relationships, except the feeling that it's just a chore, and is pointless, and the need to end them, and a whole bunch of other reasons.

I mean c'mon, I couldn't take a relationship with someone way older than me, and that same person not knowing I exist because he's on tv, and we never met, with him seriously. Haha. It's an extremely ridiculous idea. *Rolls eyes*

So why do I blush at every single mention of him? is he so aesthetically attractive to me that my face goes red? I mean, he is, at least in my opinion. Maybe there's a more scientific reason why one would blush like crazy, that isn't romantic at ALL.

Below is him:

Swamp_People_Season_11_Brock_Theriot_Cast.jpg

Edited by The Lost One
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By the way, I don't blush as badly when he is mentioned, anymore, which makes me feel better.

9 minutes ago, KoconutBounty said:

I'm not much help here, im sorry

I looked it up, it could be due to aesthetic attraction. Maybe also something else-

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18 minutes ago, The Lost One said:

By the way, I don't blush as badly when he is mentioned, anymore, which makes me feel better.

I looked it up, it could be due to aesthetic attraction. Maybe also something else-

hm maybe

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Sorry for my ignorance, but is that photo of someone famous or is it a person in your personal life?

.

Here's a big write up I did all about blushing!

These feelings don't have to mean anything in particular. Do you think this is a crush? There's no objectively right or wrong answer here. They're your feelings. You get to define them. You may consider these, for example, unwanted/intrusive thoughts.

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This could be a crush.  On the other hand, it might be a squish.  I once had a squish who made me blush every time he was mentioned.  So consider that possibility too.

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20 hours ago, hemogoblin said:

Sorry for my ignorance, but is that photo of someone famous or is it a person in your personal life?

.

Here's a big write up I did all about blushing!

These feelings don't have to mean anything in particular. Do you think this is a crush? There's no objectively right or wrong answer here. They're your feelings. You get to define them. You may consider these, for example, unwanted/intrusive thoughts.

Someone famous. I'm not sure if it's a crush.. To be honest, I want to say "no it isn't" but with my amount of uncertainty, I have to admit that I'm not sure if it's a crush or not.

Edited by The Lost One
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Oh, I have an update ig.

 

This person I may have feelings for is a famous person, as I've said in the comment above, and he doesn't know me, and we don't live near each other, so if I wanted to experiment to see what attraction I feel, I couldn't. And besides, he's not into boys/non-binary people. He's straight. So, how would I be able to figure out the way I feel for him? Idk.

 

I fantasized last night, and it helped me determine I only want physical affection from him, and to give it back to him. Like cuddles/snuggles, nuzzles, and being held by him and holding him, but certainly not kissing him in any way. And plus I got the urge to want to protect him, a little bit. But most of the time I forget what he looks like, so it makes fantasizing harder, and my fantasies make it sound so much better than it'd probably be in real life. I've cuddled in real life, and it's just awkward and a little uncomfortable. The fantasy was not romantic. I didn't think of it in a romantic context at all. It was just a calming one, because I do want to be held by someone, to feel that closeness. I feel like the attraction to him is undefinable, or at least not one I can recognize, but definitely not romantic. 

Edited by The Lost One
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