Give me your testimonials about religions and aromanticism

[Themathlover]

I posted a topic where I gave mine a few hours ago. Here it is :

I'd like to collect yours, first, to feel less alone, and secondly, to help everyone here struggling with that. It would be a good way to exchange about it

Edited February 22 by Themathlover

[HelloThere]

So here’s a story, I’m Christian and the denomination of Christianity I’m in is more tolerant of LGBTQ people, they’re more for peoples rights but disagree in that when it comes to the actual religion. I’m like 80% sure I’m aroace, at least for now, and I know that I’d still easily be able to stay in the church with no issues. (I have no intention of leaving) I am however more worried about the social stigma in this church that values marriage above most other things. It’s not a requirement to go to heaven but not marrying sorta lowers the bar. In our church those that don’t marry stay in a “singles ward” so then there’s less feelings hurt whenever someone talks about the importance of family in normal wards. It’s not nearly as much adversity or any issue but I’m still not even close to being sure enough of myself to come out as I’m only 15 so I can’t be sure yet. Either way I’m not scared that my parents will have a serious negative reaction, I’m afraid of disappointing them, or being alone because  I might fail to make friends, or being wrong later on and having to ride it all back. I mean, my church is far more mild and nicer to LGBTQ people than most, but I still have concerns. My parents opinion so far I’m not marrying is that I’d be lonely and that it’ll change soon, I told them my ideal relationship was one with a close friend group, or living with a friend. Maybe it would work, maybe it wouldn’t but either way my chances are equal if not more than that of a relationship. I’m worried, but not scared. I hope that in some way this helps. :D

[Jot-Aro Kujo]

I'm pagan, mostly kemetic. I primarily worship Sekhmet and Bast, as well as practicing ancestor veneration per Puerto Rican traditions. My religion doesn't have anything against aromanticism.

[HelloThere]

52 minutes ago, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

I'm pagan, mostly kemetic. I primarily worship Sekhmet and Bast, as well as practicing ancestor veneration per Puerto Rican traditions. My religion doesn't have anything against aromanticism.

Oh cool! I’m a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (people call us “Mormons” but we denounced the name as it associated us with a splinter group of different values) and I’m not really sure if my church has any big issues with me possibly being aroace, I mean it wouldn’t prevent me from going to heaven, but I wouldn’t get the highest level of it. We have a much more lenient policy on LGBTQ beliefs and have often fought for rights if it’s morally right. (morality is easier for us to side with) We aren’t against gay people but my church does believe that acting upon said same-sex attraction is a sin. It’s among the better of Christian churches but there is still a social stigma against LGBTQ people in the church. We don’t have any policy on trans rights but I have a feeling that it’ll change at some point. (Not sure which way that could go) Being aroace does coincide with the church pretty well so that’s good I guess. 

[Jot-Aro Kujo]

2 hours ago, HelloThere said:

Oh cool! I’m a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (people call us “Mormons” but we denounced the name as it associated us with a splinter group of different values) and I’m not really sure if my church has any big issues with me possibly being aroace, I mean it wouldn’t prevent me from going to heaven, but I wouldn’t get the highest level of it. We have a much more lenient policy on LGBTQ beliefs and have often fought for rights if it’s morally right. (morality is easier for us to side with) We aren’t against gay people but my church does believe that acting upon said same-sex attraction is a sin. It’s among the better of Christian churches but there is still a social stigma against LGBTQ people in the church. We don’t have any policy on trans rights but I have a feeling that it’ll change at some point. (Not sure which way that could go) Being aroace does coincide with the church pretty well so that’s good I guess. 

Ok..? I'm sorry but I'm not really sure what any of that has to do with my post 😭

[HelloThere]

1 hour ago, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

Ok..? I'm sorry but I'm not really sure what any of that has to do with my post 😭

I don’t either, I’m sorry I just like talking, I swear I didn’t mean anything by it. 

[Jot-Aro Kujo]

Been thinking about it a bit more, and I suppose it's somewhat interesting being pagan and bisexual aromantic. There's plenty of examples of queerness in mythology, and my identity is something I view as a strength, both in life and in my practice of religion and witchcraft. I've also always had a connection with Aphrodite, which some people might find surprising because she's frequently reduced to "love goddess" in popular culture, but there's more to her than that and "love" doesn't necessarily exclusively mean romance either. I've also found the various pagan communities I've interacted with to be pretty accepting, although it depends on the type- I mostly hang out with other Kemeticists, but a lot of Wiccans and such are still stuck on that whole "ooooh the divine masculine and the divine feminine ooooh childbirth is women's true power" bullshit so I don't pay attention to that lol

I have gotten some shit from Christians for my orientation, but... I mean, growing up pagan, I've had people telling me I'm going to hell since before I was even old enough to know what religion or hell were, so I tend not to think twice about it anymore. I've got far better things to do with my life than spend it in fear of a concept that may or may not even be real, and that is mostly thrown around as a means of control over people who don't follow the status quo. A day spent with my hot gay friends having a good time is worth a thousand weird cultish insults to me 💚

[HelloThere]

1 minute ago, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

Been thinking about it a bit more, and I suppose it's somewhat interesting being pagan and bisexual aromantic. There's plenty of examples of queerness in mythology, and my identity is something I view as a strength, both in life and in my practice of religion and witchcraft. I've also always had a connection with Aphrodite, which some people might find surprising because she's frequently reduced to "love goddess" in popular culture, but there's more to her than that and "love" doesn't necessarily exclusively mean romance either. I've also found the various pagan communities I've interacted with to be pretty accepting, although it depends on the type- I mostly hang out with other Kemeticists, but a lot of Wiccans and such are still stuck on that whole "ooooh the divine masculine and the divine feminine ooooh childbirth is women's true power" bullshit so I don't pay attention to that lol

I have gotten some shit from Christians for my orientation, but... I mean, growing up pagan, I've had people telling me I'm going to hell since before I was even old enough to know what religion or hell were, so I tend not to think twice about it anymore. I've got far better things to do with my life than spend it in fear of a concept that may or may not even be real, and that is mostly thrown around as a means of control over people who don't follow the status quo. A day spent with my hot gay friends having a good time is worth a thousand weird cultish insults to me 💚

I’ve never actually learned much about pagan religions and I guess just learning more about other people would be nice. (If you’re willing to talk about it could you sorta summarize in a way?) I’m glad that you accept yourself for who you are, it saddens me how often you see people trying to conceal their own identities because they’re scared of how others would react. I am sorry to hear about the adversity you’ve had to face though. I am glad you are here because we could all do with some emotional support now and again. 💚

[Jot-Aro Kujo]

22 minutes ago, HelloThere said:

I’ve never actually learned much about pagan religions and I guess just learning more about other people would be nice. (If you’re willing to talk about it could you sorta summarize in a way?) I’m glad that you accept yourself for who you are, it saddens me how often you see people trying to conceal their own identities because they’re scared of how others would react. I am sorry to hear about the adversity you’ve had to face though. I am glad you are here because we could all do with some emotional support now and again. 💚

I mean, it's kind of difficult to summarize thousands of years of various worldwide religions in one post, but I guess I can talk about my personal experience.

My mom largely works with the ancient Greek and Roman pantheons and practices stregheria, a type of Italian folk witchcraft. I do a little bit of that, but mostly I practice Kemeticism, which means I work with the ancient Egyptian pantheon. While my practice occasionally crosses paths with various different deities and forces, I largely consider myself a sort of devotee of Bast and Sekhmet, two lion/cat goddesses who both sometimes play the role of the "Eye of Ra". Sekhmet is a goddess of both war and healing, and Bast is more associated with the home, earthly delights, etc. Both are also mother goddesses, and Sekhmet in particular is also sometimes the cow goddess Hathor, goddess of beauty, music, sex, and parties. Sekhmet is also a strong keeper of Ma'at, the ancient Egyptian concept of order, truth, justice, responsibility, and equality. I strive to live my life in accordance with Ma'at and I look to Sekhmet to guide me in doing so. In my scholarly pursuits I also sometimes work with Thoth, and I take some influence from historical alchemy as well, which he is associated with.

Additionally, I also consider myself a practitioner of brujería (Hispanic folk witchcraft). I'm Puerto Rican, and the spiritual traditions of my culture strongly influence my practice. My family keeps a traditional altar to the dead, which I tend daily, and I look to Puerto Rican traditions in my spellwork.

[HelloThere]

12 minutes ago, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

I mean, it's kind of difficult to summarize thousands of years of various worldwide religions in one post, but I guess I can talk about my personal experience.

My mom largely works with the ancient Greek and Roman pantheons and practices stregheria, a type of Italian folk witchcraft. I do a little bit of that, but mostly I practice Kemeticism, which means I work with the ancient Egyptian pantheon. While my practice occasionally crosses paths with various different deities and forces, I largely consider myself a sort of devotee of Bast and Sekhmet, two lion/cat goddesses who both sometimes play the role of the "Eye of Ra". Sekhmet is a goddess of both war and healing, and Bast is more associated with the home, earthly delights, etc. Both are also mother goddesses, and Sekhmet in particular is also sometimes the cow goddess Hathor, goddess of beauty, music, sex, and parties. Sekhmet is also a strong keeper of Ma'at, the ancient Egyptian concept of order, truth, justice, responsibility, and equality. I strive to live my life in accordance with Ma'at and I look to Sekhmet to guide me in doing so. In my scholarly pursuits I also sometimes work with Thoth, and I take some influence from historical alchemy as well, which he is associated with.

Additionally, I also consider myself a practitioner of brujería (Hispanic folk witchcraft). I'm Puerto Rican, and the spiritual traditions of my culture strongly influence my practice. My family keeps a traditional altar to the dead, which I tend daily, and I look to Puerto Rican traditions in my spellwork.

Huh that’s pretty interesting. I sorta understand and I can agree, it’s kinda hard to sum up religious beliefs/practices in a single comment. It sounds interesting and I kinda understand. Basically what I caught onto was that it’s sorta combinations of different religions and beliefs? I’m sorry my 15 year old brain is having a hard time fully comprehending but it sounds interesting. Thanks for telling me! :D

[Jot-Aro Kujo]

54 minutes ago, HelloThere said:

Huh that’s pretty interesting. I sorta understand and I can agree, it’s kinda hard to sum up religious beliefs/practices in a single comment. It sounds interesting and I kinda understand. Basically what I caught onto was that it’s sorta combinations of different religions and beliefs? I’m sorry my 15 year old brain is having a hard time fully comprehending but it sounds interesting. Thanks for telling me! :D

Oh! I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you weren’t familiar with the word, lol. Yeah, basically “pagan” is a catch-all term for various different traditions. In a strictly historical sense, it means a polytheistic religion. In a modern sense, it typically refers to various western folk religions and some more modern religions (e.g. Wicca). 

[HelloThere]

6 hours ago, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

Oh! I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you weren’t familiar with the word, lol. Yeah, basically “pagan” is a catch-all term for various different traditions. In a strictly historical sense, it means a polytheistic religion. In a modern sense, it typically refers to various western folk religions and some more modern religions (e.g. Wicca). 

I haven’t learned too much about other religions so seeing the diversity is kinda a breath of fresh air. :D

[Jot-Aro Kujo]

6 hours ago, HelloThere said:

I haven’t learned too much about other religions so seeing the diversity is kinda a breath of fresh air. :D

I definitely recommend studying up on other religions when you get the chance, especially hearing the perspectives of people who practice said religions. It’s important for learning to understand and respect others, and can be useful for providing perspective about one’s own religion as well. I really think it’s important for everyone to learn about different religions. 

[HelloThere]

2 minutes ago, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

I definitely recommend studying up on other religions when you get the chance, especially hearing the perspectives of people who practice said religions. It’s important for learning to understand and respect others, and can be useful for providing perspective about one’s own religion as well. I really think it’s important for everyone to learn about different religions. 

Yeah, there’s a lot of things that we all need to learn. If you ask me we’d have required classes on religion, the LGBTQ spectrum, and other cultures. We have a mild amounts of that in history class but nothing incredibly useful when meeting someone from that religion.

5 minutes ago, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

I definitely recommend studying up on other religions when you get the chance, especially hearing the perspectives of people who practice said religions. It’s important for learning to understand and respect others, and can be useful for providing perspective about one’s own religion as well. I really think it’s important for everyone to learn about different religions. 

Besides, it’s incredibly important if we want countries and cultures to learn to be ok with one another. If we want to unify as a species we need to learn what makes us different, celebrate both our similarities and our differences, and understand that at the end of the day we’re all human.

[DeltaAro]

On 5/12/2023 at 2:28 AM, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

I've also always had a connection with Aphrodite, which some people might find surprising because she's frequently reduced to "love goddess" in popular culture, but there's more to her than that and "love" doesn't necessarily exclusively mean romance either.

So if I may ask, do you believe in Aphrodite literally, like that she exists as a supernatural entity who interacts with humans? Or is she more of a metaphor for you? Or something in-between?

On 5/10/2023 at 5:14 PM, HelloThere said:

We aren’t against gay people but my church does believe that acting upon said same-sex attraction is a sin. It’s among the better of Christian churches but there is still a social stigma against LGBTQ people in the church.

The "love the sinner, hate the sin" approach? It's not surprising that there is "still" a social stigma in the church.

[Jot-Aro Kujo]

5 hours ago, DeltaAro said:

So if I may ask, do you believe in Aphrodite literally, like that she exists as a supernatural entity who interacts with humans? Or is she more of a metaphor for you? Or something in-between?

Something in between, I suppose. People always ask me like “So you REALLY believe in the gods? You REALLY think there’s real people up there? You REALLY think blah blah blah” but at the end of the day, does it really matter? Even in ancient times they weren’t always thought of in the strictly literal sense. And either way, whether they exist or not, my religious practices help bring comfort, order, and guidance to my life. Same as any other religion. 

[HelloThere]

1 hour ago, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

Something in between, I suppose. People always ask me like “So you REALLY believe in the gods? You REALLY think there’s real people up there? You REALLY think blah blah blah” but at the end of the day, does it really matter? Even in ancient times they weren’t always thought of in the strictly literal sense. And either way, whether they exist or not, my religious practices help bring comfort, order, and guidance to my life. Same as any other religion. 

Yes, in a lot of ways, it makes sense. Even if you don’t believe they’re real or they aren’t at all, they still teach important real life lessons and have a level of social utility. :D

[DeltaAro]

On 5/18/2023 at 6:14 PM, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

Something in between, I suppose. People always ask me like “So you REALLY believe in the gods? You REALLY think there’s real people up there? You REALLY think blah blah blah”

That's not different from established religions. Also, pilgrims and priests had already climbed Mount Olympus, so the "up there" wasn't taken literally.

My issue is rather that the tradition of the Ancient Greek religion has been broken after the Christianization of Europe.

There is no living cultural heritage, no clear theology, no important religious figures in the recent past as, in comparison to e.g. Hinduism or Shintoism (to name two established polytheistic religions).

So it's difficult for me to grasp how this is a live option for anyone.

On 5/18/2023 at 6:14 PM, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

but at the end of the day, does it really matter? Even in ancient times they weren’t always thought of in the strictly literal sense. And either way, whether they exist or not, my religious practices help bring comfort, order, and guidance to my life. Same as any other religion. 

To me, a religion often retains its "core message" even if you take a lot of it metaphorically. But there comes a point when it just morphs into a naturalist philosophy.

So it matters if the gods exist, obviously for our fate beyond this life. And even in this life, a religious practice simply has a very different meaning if you can believe you connect with a supernatural power, or if you just go through the motions.

[AstrophelDragon]

On 5/10/2023 at 11:14 AM, HelloThere said:

’m a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints

Hey...me too! :)

Being aromantic (and ace) in my church I feel can be kind of hard, because people tend to take it for granted that you will get married and have kids and that it's a life goal for you to do that. And while people are generally understanding that there are various circumstances that don't allow for that, it's kind of supposed to be your goal for like the highest glory in the next life. And so I find it hard sometimes to accept myself because I'm supposed to be this young woman at some point in the next few years (if not now) starting the search for a husband to raise a family with, and instead I'm this nonbinary mess who doesn't really want to do that.

Idk I would kind of like to raise kids, so maybe I find a friend and we get married and adopt some kids? *shrug* (sad that this program doesn't have the gender neutral shrugging person emoji)

But yeah ig that's how I reconcile it. That and the fact that even though people nowadays tend to marry based on attraction, there's nothing in scriptures or whatever that says it has to be that way

Edited May 26 by AstrophelDragon

[AstrophelDragon]

On 5/10/2023 at 9:49 AM, HelloThere said:

In our church those that don’t marry stay in a “singles ward”

They do? Is that a Utah thing? In my stake we have a YSA branch but we don't have a singles ward, if people are too old for YSA then they just merge back into the regular wards

[HelloThere]

6 hours ago, AstrophelDragon said:

They do? Is that a Utah thing? In my stake we have a YSA branch but we don't have a singles ward, if people are too old for YSA then they just merge back into the regular wards

 

6 hours ago, AstrophelDragon said:

They do? Is that a Utah thing? In my stake we have a YSA branch but we don't have a singles ward, if people are too old for YSA then they just merge back into the regular wards

Yeah I think so. I don’t know much about them so it may just be a ysa ward I’m talking about. XD

7 hours ago, AstrophelDragon said:

Hey...me too! :)

Being aromantic (and ace) in my church I feel can be kind of hard, because people tend to take it for granted that you will get married and have kids and that it's a life goal for you to do that. And while people are generally understanding that there are various circumstances that don't allow for that, it's kind of supposed to be your goal for like the highest glory in the next life. And so I find it hard sometimes to accept myself because I'm supposed to be this young woman at some point in the next few years (if not now) starting the search for a husband to raise a family with, and instead I'm this nonbinary mess who doesn't really want to do that.

Idk I would kind of like to raise kids, so maybe I find a friend and we get married and adopt some kids? *shrug* (sad that this program doesn't have the gender neutral shrugging person emoji)

But yeah ig that's how I reconcile it. That and the fact that even though people nowadays tend to marry based on attraction, there's nothing in scriptures or whatever that says it has to be that way

I’m glad to know that I’m not the only LDS person here. I mean yeah, it does sound rough, I’ve come out to no one inside the church but when the time is right I might. I don’t really think I would marry though, I’m not exactly excited about the idea of having kids and I really just want to do things without having to worry about more than myself and maybe my queer-platonic partner if I was lucky. (Idk a qpr sounds nice imo) I really don’t want to let my church down but why does it require that I have kids in order to go to the highest degree of glory? Or heck to marry for that matter? It just doesn’t sound like something that should make sense in this religion. I mean yeah I’d platonically marry for tax reasons but if I found someone of the same gender then that wouldn’t be possible. But at the same time I have more guy friends and I’d find it easier for me to connect so that’s be more likely. (Why does figuring this out have to be hard?)

[AstrophelDragon]

7 hours ago, HelloThere said:

why does it require that I have kids in order to go to the highest degree of glory? Or heck to marry for that matter? It just doesn’t sound like something that should make sense in this religion.

Yeah I don't like that it's limited by agab

[HelloThere]

1 hour ago, AstrophelDragon said:

Yeah I don't like that it's limited by agab

It’s a question that I’ve prayed about a bit, though I may get my patriarchal blessing after summer ends so maybe that’ll help answer things? 

[krispychickensandwich]

I should clarify before I start that I'm not anti-Christian, I do believe that Christians can be lovely people, I just grew up in a religious environment that left me with quite a bit of trauma lol. I grew up in a very conservative Baptist Christian church and what I have seen is: the church is not God, because the church (mine at least), is not love, and God is love, love is God. I'm not sure whether I believe in God anymore, but I believe in Love, as a transcendental sort of thing (not necessarily romantically in my own life). In my church, marriage is life goals. If you're not married, you get gossiped about, set up on dates, prayed for vigilantly, and told that "He's got a plan for you! Someday you'll meet the right one!" I do believe in Fate, and in people you're meant to meet, but this belief that I was taught as a child was quite damaging for me. "Lord willing, you'll find a husband!" My mom would say, whenever I'd talk about not wanting to date anyone in particular at the moment (I'm transmasc and AFAB btw). It's ironic and funny to mention at this point that she wouldn't allow me to date until I was 18 anyways, as a sort of purity-culture virtue thing. Very double-standards, no? You're supposed to desire someone, but in a pure, virginy, sexless kind of way, but you're supposed to want to marry them and have kinds and life a white-picket fence sort of life. Two become as One, transcending human states through love, but (plot twist!) it's not just two (and not in a fun poly way) because God is the third party in your marriage and is always watching you to make sure you're virtuous and romantic and desiring in a chaste kind of way, but never really wanting or being sexual outside of procreation purposes. The funny thing is, this church I went to that was absolutely horrid to LGBTQ+ people like myself was the most positive about aroace-ness of any of the things. They said, "Oh, perhaps it's just God's will for you to remain celibate and dedicate your life to Him instead of to a spouse", which has it's own silly ick things to unpack, but anyways. They might even, on a rare occasion, bring up the Apostle Paul, who wrote explicitly about not wanting to marry/have a romantic partner, deciding that well, if a renowned writer in the Bible could do it, other people could perhaps do it too. So they were fine about it, in a way, but not in the ways that mattered, at least that I saw. Just in the ways that would allow them to smush this beautiful diverse spectrum of people and experiences and identities into the little box of their worldview.

[Rackson]

I'm pretty sure we had a very interesting thread about specifically Christianity and aromanticism. If I find it I will update this post.