Rose Posted August 1, 2016 Share Posted August 1, 2016 Although my mother has joked about it to my face for years, a recent conversation with my father has confirmed that my mother actually believes I must have a secret boyfriend. There are many problems with this. Heteronormativity. The assumption that I MUST have a romantic partner (I'm only 17, plenty of allos my age are single). Also, the fact that I have told both my parents that I don't have any signifanct other and that I'm okay with that. I'm not ready to come out to my parents as aro (as you might assume, that would not be taken well) but I really don't know what to do going forward. Years of my word that I'm happily single doesn't seem to make a dent in their belief. I'm kinda at a loss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoulWolf Posted August 1, 2016 Share Posted August 1, 2016 Wow. That must be really frustrating... I get really upset when I'm honest about something and the person blatantly refuses to believe me. I absolutely hate that. It's kinda hard to prove that you don't have something, compared to proving that you do... Could you send them a link to the Wikipedia page about aromanticism perhaps... would they take that seriously? If all else fails... maybe they'll understand when you're older. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
techno Posted August 1, 2016 Share Posted August 1, 2016 I imagine that's really frustrating to deal with. I get not wanting to come out to them about it yet. You could try confronting them about how you don't have a secret boyfriend and the fact that them assume you do makes you feel uncomfortable because you're happy without one and don't like that they think you're lying. That way, you can explain how you feel without having to outright come out as anything, and it focuses the subject on how you don't like them making assumptions rather than on you not having a significant other. If not, hey, it's their problem if they're going to spend all this time thinking about how you MUST have a secret boyfriend, because when he never shows up, and they eventually realize he never existed just like you always said, they'll feel pretty silly for assuming anything about you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Phoenix Ace Posted August 1, 2016 Share Posted August 1, 2016 If you still have never had a boyfriend in about ten years, they might finally believe you... maybe. If not, it really is their own delusion and not your problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quinoa Posted August 2, 2016 Share Posted August 2, 2016 Why do people think they know us better than we do? That is so frustrating. I'm sorry you are dealing with this. Hang in there! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
omitef Posted August 2, 2016 Share Posted August 2, 2016 Personally, I'd start messing with your mother and use the "boyfriend" excuse to buy your friends cool/random/absurd stuff. "Rose why have you ordered 99 stuffed penguins off of eBay" "They are for my...er...what'stheword...boyfriend" "Aww that's so sweet" "Yes it is mother. Yes. It. Is. :)" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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