EternallyTBD Posted January 24 Share Posted January 24 (edited) I have two friends who just started unofficially dating which is great because they are both amazing and if they didn’t the levels of pining may have driven everyone insane. When I looked at them together and saw the level of emotional intimacy that you could practically see between them, though, I got a weird mix of feeling happy for them and at the same time a bit sad because I know I’ll never have that specific kind of relationship. Is that just me? Edited January 24 by EternallyTBD 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mivoei Posted January 24 Share Posted January 24 i can feel this rarely. my friends around me dont get into romantic relationships bc the majority of them are aroace but i do envy the intimacy ppl have on a romantic level. which is why i wished for a closer friend whom i can have the same amount of intimacy for but still remaining as friends; aka a qar. im romance indifferent and averse sometimes so once in a while i wish i have that emotional closeness and the next i go eww kissing so thats basically it for me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Collie Posted January 24 Share Posted January 24 Mostly I'm just like "why tho?" While also wanting to be happy for them. In a rare case, I'm just a tad bit jealous of the attention my friend is giving their s/o. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hemogoblin Posted January 24 Share Posted January 24 Other people in relationships don't really trigger it, but I do sometimes lament the fact that there are no "adult milestones" for me to be able to meet in an amatonormative society. Not gonna get married, don't want kids, don't have a career... It's very easy to feel 'left behind'. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neon Posted January 24 Share Posted January 24 1 hour ago, hemogoblin said: I do sometimes lament the fact that there are no "adult milestones" for me to be able to meet in an amatonormative society This. There's a concept called the "social clock" and it's milestones that you are supposed to hit around certain times. A big one is marriage, and even before I knew I was aro, I knew I didn't want that. But I assumed it would happen, whether I liked it or not. And it's a strange feeling. Because accepting I was aro lifted the weight of that expectation off my chest. But not the expectation of the expectation. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hemogoblin Posted January 25 Share Posted January 25 17 hours ago, Neon said: This. There's a concept called the "social clock" and it's milestones that you are supposed to hit around certain times. A big one is marriage, and even before I knew I was aro, I knew I didn't want that. But I assumed it would happen, whether I liked it or not. And it's a strange feeling. Because accepting I was aro lifted the weight of that expectation off my chest. But not the expectation of the expectation. The expectation of expectation! THANK YOU for perfectly articulating this. 🐸 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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