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Vent abt stereotypes


Arden
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Ok, but this is smth that I've kind of wanted to vent abt for SUCH a long time. Why tf are the aroace stereotypes so polar? 

Like seriously, aroace ppl are either nerdy, shy and innocent or complete psychopathic killers with no interest or heart. And why does every person in the world seem to think aroace ppl fit one of these stereotypes?? 

I recently came out to someone, and their reaction was 'but you're too confident to be aroace'. So? What's the correlation to me dressing like a total slut with my sexuality. That's like saying that gay men must wear dresses, which is ridiculous. I don't have to do anything. I dress, act however I want and that should have no correlation whatsoever to my sexuality. I apologise that my scandalous outfits, and outgoing personality (and mind you, I'm really not that confident, it's only around my friends) mean that I must find romantic and sexual attraction in people. 

And what is it with all the villains on the planet being coded as aroace? Take Sherlock Holmes for example (and yes, it must be the BBC version). Now I'm not saying he's a villain, but he certainly hasn't acted friendly in the SLIGHTEST. The guy is a 'high functioning sociopath' for fucks sake. But we see him clearly be coded as aroace when he keeps saying that 'relationships are futile'. Like hey, you slay my dude, but why must you also be a sociopath and be aroace? That's why I personally love the idea of John and Sherlock being together- breaks that negative aroace stereotype. 

So yeah, boohoo to anyone who ever enforces these stereotypes onto me, and heavens forbid you do. 

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Yeah it's very annoying!

I also feel for other groups who have similar stereotyping done to them. For example aspec people.

Imagine how much potential story there is if writers would explore outside the stereotypes and not just use these go to lazy tropes. Also the way many writers doesn't even seem to know how to write a character arc without some sex and romance escalator included.

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No but literally- that's a whole other story 

There could be so many character arcs, and such interesting character development if authors and movie writers decided to actually focus their energy on developing the character's personality, not just integrating a love interest. Like it's easy to create thousands of characters with weak and unestablished personalities but to create one character that has an in depth personality, one that draws upon philosophy, and psychology: that's talent. 

 

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Being aro is generally treated this way because of the whole amatonormativity thing. There's also another problem: lack of visibility in the LGBTQ+ community. Just, look. The most visible and loudest part of the LGBTQ+ community keeps yelling about "love is love", not even noticing us. And if they already notice us, they see only aroaces, while aroallos are still being demonized.
I'd say, there are some non villainous characters in the media that could be interpreted as aromantic, but the group is very small (not saying about the actual representation) and possibly rather they're side than main. However, there's one interesting example – Kawaki (Boruto). Kawaki is one of the main characters, he isn't a villain and seems to at least be repulsed by romance (and it's not only my observation). I'd totally "buy" him as aro (but maybe just because of him being one of my faves).

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1 hour ago, Jigen said:

Being aro is generally treated this way because of the whole amatonormativity thing. There's also another problem: lack of visibility in the LGBTQ+ community. Just, look. The most visible and loudest part of the LGBTQ+ community keeps yelling about "love is love", not even noticing us.

I personally never see this. But maybe it's because most Swedes kinda ignore each other so don't really care who loves who.

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I think it is because even if the characters are aroace coded, the writers didn't think about themselves this way, a lot of them probably don't even know this orientation exists. So their intent is not to write an aroace character, but to use their absence of desire for romance and sex as a tool to show how weird they are, or how villain they are, or if they are clueless instead of hating it, how innocent they are.

Because of this, the only representation people have of people who are not into romance and/or sex are people who are "innocent" or who are show in a negative light. And then, when people say they are aroace, other immediately think about that and think it must mean we are this way.

This is extremely annoying.

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1 hour ago, Holmbo said:

I personally never see this. But maybe it's because most Swedes kinda ignore each other so don't really care who loves who.

In Poland on the pride parades they almost always yell "love is love". It's so… eh. I'm tired of it and of trying to inform people about being aro.

Edited by Jigen
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On 12/24/2022 at 6:59 PM, Jigen said:

In Poland on the pride parades they almost always yell "love is love". It's so… eh. I'm tired of it and of trying to inform people about being aro.

Does everyone have to yell the same though? It makes sense to me that everyone would yell what feels best for them.

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  • 4 weeks later...

I actually have learned to like “love is love”. I take it with a sort of “who cares what other people mean, I’ll take its meaning to be whatever I want” and interpret it that all love, familial, platonic, alterous, etc is all just that: love. To me it’s a way of saying romantic love isn’t the only kind that matters 

Edited by EternallyTBD
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