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I feel kinda done with being aro


Holmbo
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With that I don't mean I'm not aromantic anymore. Just that being solo is such an automatic thing for me now I don't even really consider it much. Most content about aromanticism seems so obvious to me or kinda overly dramatic. Maybe it will change if I explore new connections.

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2 hours ago, Holmbo said:

seems so obvious

I heard everything about aromanticism... but, but, I've not seen all aro art!

2 hours ago, Holmbo said:

or kinda overly dramatic

Depends on my mood. Often I feel that way about my own posts, like "Seriously, I wrote this extremely cringe, overly dramatic stuff?" but other times it feels justified. 😖

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  • 2 weeks later...

I'm extremely annoyed by my aroace-ness because I'm lonely and I know it, but I don't want the commitment and the judgement, plus the billion other things that come with a relationship kissing, hugging, having to be around them ALL THE TIME, etc. And half the time I can barely tell if I like someone back at all. It's honestly annoying. 

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I saw a thing where it's like the phases of realizing you are queer. After engaging with the community heavily for a while, most people tend to pull back a little bit, for whatever reason.

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7 hours ago, Goofylittlecoffeeaddict said:

I'm extremely annoyed by my aroace-ness because I'm lonely and I know it, but I don't want the commitment and the judgement, plus the billion other things that come with a relationship kissing, hugging, having to be around them ALL THE TIME, etc. And half the time I can barely tell if I like someone back at all. It's honestly annoying. 

Try thinking about bein in a QPR? With someone who has the same values as you?

7 hours ago, Neon said:

I saw a thing where it's like the phases of realizing you are queer. After engaging with the community heavily for a while, most people tend to pull back a little bit, for whatever reason.

Exactly what I think too! I went through something similar, and kind of still am/do. What are the reasons some people pull back, though?

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I'm kind of at that point myself. I feel I've learned everything there is to learn about it. It really is a pretty simple thing, I don't experience romance. What more is there to say about it? It was wonderful learning about it so I could process the concept and let go of old ideas and expectations I was holding onto. But now I feel I'm on the other side and ready to move on to other things.

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21 hours ago, Neon said:

I saw a thing where it's like the phases of realizing you are queer. After engaging with the community heavily for a while, most people tend to pull back a little bit, for whatever reason.

yah I heard this before from different queer communities. I understand that after a certain time maybe you may not longer have the need to have community or you are fine with being who you are (which I wish everybody!) or they don't feel as it impacts their lifes anymore and maybe some people also don't want to be reminded all the time to be queer (I'm not talking about you, @Holmbo, more in general)

like, a trans* male friend of mine had trouble to find representation of trans* Men who were "further" on their way of medical transition than him because a lot of trans* Men in this "stage" of medical transition stopped to talk a lot about their trans* identity as it did affect them less in their daily life
 

I can totally understand that people don't want to be stucked in the same conversations ever and ever again, but at the same time I think it's totally precious for younger queers to have older queers who lived a long time with their identities because even if it doesn't seem to be important to them anymore they have so much to give to others! but of course they don't owe younger queers anything

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7 hours ago, Acecream said:

I can totally understand that people don't want to be stucked in the same conversations ever and ever again, but at the same time I think it's totally precious for younger queers to have older queers who lived a long time with their identities because even if it doesn't seem to be important to them anymore they have so much to give to others! but of course they don't owe younger queers anything

That's a good point.

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16 hours ago, Acecream said:

I can totally understand that people don't want to be stucked in the same conversations ever and ever again, but at the same time I think it's totally precious for younger queers to have older queers who lived a long time with their identities because even if it doesn't seem to be important to them anymore they have so much to give to others! but of course they don't owe younger queers anything

That's the reason I've been sticking around. Every now and then I see a young person posting their struggles and I chime in with my own two cents or relate my own experience hoping it helps. 

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