My sexuality is a green cesspool of acid, thanks for asking.

[Fandom Fanatic]

Okay, so I've identified as asexual for a while. That went without saying.

But my romantic identity has always been a bit of a struggle.

It basically went from heteroromantic (ew straightness /j) to demiromantic to grayromantic to abroromantic to oriented aroace to bi-alterous aroace to demibiromantic. And there may have been some a-spec in there somewhere. I honestly forgot.

And I know I'm some half of romantic. Romance is just one of those things that sounds good in theory, but if I see people kiss, I want to throw up. But if I read about people kissing or picture myself kissing someone, I get the warm and floofies. And personally, I'm at the age where I could  date and half of my friends are in relationships, but I'm just like, "Nah, we're still too young to date." When one of my friends has had four boyfriends in the past 3 years. Like, dude, what??? 

So basically, I have no clue how I identify and I am the type of person who likes things to be clear and right now they are not, so I'd appreciate some insight from fellow a-specs.

[Ted guy]

33 minutes ago, Fandom Fanatic said:

Okay, so I've identified as asexual for a while. That went without saying.

But my romantic identity has always been a bit of a struggle.

It basically went from heteroromantic (ew straightness /j) to demiromantic to grayromantic to abroromantic to oriented aroace to bi-alterous aroace to demibiromantic. And there may have been some a-spec in there somewhere. I honestly forgot.

And I know I'm some half of romantic. Romance is just one of those things that sounds good in theory, but if I see people kiss, I want to throw up. But if I read about people kissing or picture myself kissing someone, I get the warm and floofies. And personally, I'm at the age where I could  date and half of my friends are in relationships, but I'm just like, "Nah, we're still too young to date." When one of my friends has had four boyfriends in the past 3 years. Like, dude, what??? 

So basically, I have no clue how I identify and I am the type of person who likes things to be clear and right now they are not, so I'd appreciate some insight from fellow a-specs.

Well how old are you?

[alto]

you could be full-on aro

[EternallyTBD]

I’m very similar and I identify as aroace, but when it comes down to it it’s really whatever makes sense to you. 

[Fandom Fanatic]

18 hours ago, Ted guy said:

Well how old are you?

With all due respect, I'm not revealing my age on the internet.

16 hours ago, alto said:

you could be full-on aro

See, but the problem is, I like a guy. And I like a girl. But I also can't tell the difference between platonic, alterous, and romantic attraction, so that's complicated.

15 hours ago, EternallyTDB said:

I’m very similar and I identify as aroace, but when it comes down to it it’s really whatever makes sense to you. 

I did identify as aroace for a while and I did feel comfortable, but the problem is, I'm just NOT aro. It's just not me, because I feel romantic attraction, or at least what I THINK is romantic attraction.

[alto]

grayromantic?

[Neon]

31 minutes ago, Fandom Fanatic said:

But I also can't tell the difference between platonic, alterous, and romantic attraction, so that's complicated.

quoiromantic? That's an arospec identity where you can't differentiate between various attractions. https://aromantic.fandom.com/wiki/Quoiromantic

Obviously I'm not in your brain and can't tell you for sure, but that seems to be what you are describing to me.

[Fandom Fanatic]

4 hours ago, Neon said:

quoiromantic? That's an arospec identity where you can't differentiate between various attractions. https://aromantic.fandom.com/wiki/Quoiromantic

Obviously I'm not in your brain and can't tell you for sure, but that seems to be what you are describing to me.

I mean, it's definitely possible, but I'm that person who has to have something concrete to go with and I don't think quoi would work, because it's not being able to tell the difference which therefore means it changes and yeah.

4 hours ago, alto said:

grayromantic?

Tried that for a while, but the problem is, I've experienced attraction on multiple occasions.

 

I'm sorry, I know I'm being incredibly difficult.

[EternallyTBD]

It’s fine! This is important if it matters to you! If all of those words worked for you at some point, do you think you could be abroromantic and your word(s) just change(s)? Or, like me and probably many others, you could have mistaken romantic attraction for some other type (probably platonic or alterous, if this is the case)?

Edited November 15, 2022 by EternallyTDB

[alto]

if you've experienced attraction on multiple occasions, you could still be grayromantic (I'm being difficult too lol)

[Storm_leopardcat]

On 11/15/2022 at 3:45 AM, Fandom Fanatic said:

Okay, so I've identified as asexual for a while. That went without saying.

But my romantic identity has always been a bit of a struggle.

It basically went from heteroromantic (ew straightness /j) to demiromantic to grayromantic to abroromantic to oriented aroace to bi-alterous aroace to demibiromantic. And there may have been some a-spec in there somewhere. I honestly forgot.

And I know I'm some half of romantic. Romance is just one of those things that sounds good in theory, but if I see people kiss, I want to throw up. But if I read about people kissing or picture myself kissing someone, I get the warm and floofies. And personally, I'm at the age where I could  date and half of my friends are in relationships, but I'm just like, "Nah, we're still too young to date." When one of my friends has had four boyfriends in the past 3 years. Like, dude, what??? 

So basically, I have no clue how I identify Vand I am the type of person who likes things to be clear and right now they are not, so I'd appreciate some insight from fellow a-specs.

Have you tried aegoromantic?
https://www.aromanticism.org/en/identity-terms#:~:text=Aegoromantic %2F Autochorisromantic,Bogaert (original%2C archived).
 https://www.lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/Aegoromantic

[Ted guy]

On 11/14/2022 at 6:45 PM, Fandom Fanatic said:

Okay, so I've identified as asexual for a while. That went without saying.

But my romantic identity has always been a bit of a struggle.

It basically went from heteroromantic (ew straightness /j) to demiromantic to grayromantic to abroromantic to oriented aroace to bi-alterous aroace to demibiromantic. And there may have been some a-spec in there somewhere. I honestly forgot.

And I know I'm some half of romantic. Romance is just one of those things that sounds good in theory, but if I see people kiss, I want to throw up. But if I read about people kissing or picture myself kissing someone, I get the warm and floofies. And personally, I'm at the age where I could  date and half of my friends are in relationships, but I'm just like, "Nah, we're still too young to date." When one of my friends has had four boyfriends in the past 3 years. Like, dude, what??? 

So basically, I have no clue how I identify and I am the type of person who likes things to be clear and right now they are not, so I'd appreciate some insight from fellow a-specs.

Ok (about not stating age).

I'm presuming you're somewhere from 13 to 16 based on how you talk about your confusion.

I didnt start figuring out myself until I was my early 20s, so I would just let it roll out if I were you.

I've had a lot of female friends that had no interest for dating as early teens, but then in early 20s all over the place. It really switches.

I didn't enjoy my teen years because there was such a lack of clarity for one reason.

[Fandom Fanatic]

13 hours ago, Ted guy said:

Ok (about not stating age).

I'm presuming you're somewhere from 13 to 16 based on how you talk about your confusion.

I didnt start figuring out myself until I was my early 20s, so I would just let it roll out if I were you.

I've had a lot of female friends that had no interest for dating as early teens, but then in early 20s all over the place. It really switches.

I didn't enjoy my teen years because there was such a lack of clarity for one reason.

On 11/16/2022 at 5:46 AM, Storm_leopardcat said:

Have you tried aegoromantic?
https://www.aromanticism.org/en/identity-terms#:~:text=Aegoromantic %2F Autochorisromantic,Bogaert (original%2C archived).
 https://www.lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/Aegoromantic

YALL YALL YALL I THINK I FIGURED IT OUT

I THINK I'M DUOROMANTIC and that I switch between demiromantic and aegoromantic

[alto]

Cool!  Congrats!

[EternallyTBD]

That’s great! I’m glad you found the word that works for you!

[Storm_leopardcat]

22 hours ago, Fandom Fanatic said:

YALL YALL YALL I THINK I FIGURED IT OUT

I THINK I'M DUOROMANTIC and that I switch between demiromantic and aegoromantic

I am glad to hear I helped someone figure their attractions out!

[Goofylittlecoffeeaddict]

On 11/15/2022 at 11:33 AM, Fandom Fanatic said:

I like a guy. And I like a girl. But I also can't tell the difference between platonic, alterous, and romantic attraction, so that's complicated.

SAME, I can't tell what sexuality I am simply because differing those feelings are so hard, cause I'm like "Oh I obviously like guys" and another part of me says "but girls are also attractive I think but I don't want to like, kiss them or do anything about it" 

AHHHHH WHY IS THIS SO HARD

Honestly I'm identifying as full on aroace and nothing else because I don't feel like figuring that out at this point in my life :)

[AromanticAardvark]

On 11/17/2022 at 12:41 PM, Fandom Fanatic said:

YALL YALL YALL I THINK I FIGURED IT OUT

I THINK I'M DUOROMANTIC and that I switch between demiromantic and aegoromantic

•  

Congratulations!! That's awesome!!