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Romantic Attraction and Confidence


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Because of how highly romantic attraction is valued, and how desirability itself is based upon it- does anyone else ever get a bit of a power rush when people admit being invested in you romantically? 
 

Sometimes I get repulsion, sometimes a bit of guilt. And sometimes I can’t bring myself to care. I like feeling out of reach. I can’t help but laugh sometimes when people make those advances towards me cuz b u d d y, you’re barkin’ up the wrong tree; I’m flattered nonetheless. 

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actually no, it's just uncomfortable for me.  i want people's attraction to me to be the same as mine toward them, whether platonic, sexual, or none.  (oh except i'd like if anyone found me aesthetically attractive.)  in an ideal world, of course; i don't expect it to work out that way. 

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My first internal reaction is panic, then pity takes over. ‘I’m sorry, but that road leads to nowhere’

I am flattered of course, but I do shut it down immediately.

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Posted (edited)
10 hours ago, lovely-lavender said:

Because of how highly romantic attraction is valued, and how desirability itself is based upon it- does anyone else ever get a bit of a power rush when people admit being invested in you romantically? 

I'm not flattered. My feeling can rather be described as:

"Run to the Hills"

Edited by DeltaV
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I definitely relate- I feel super bad about it later and the “power rush” (idk if that’s how I’d describe it for me but I don’t know what other words I’d use, so borrowing yours for now!!) is always coupled with Panic but it is a bit nice XD

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Not sure I'd call it a power rush, but I do feel good when I find people who are interested in me and my life, which people tend to lean towards if they look for romance. Its nice when someone thinks highly of me.

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Honestly, the few times someone has confessed to me, its been confusion. Like, "Ok, erm.. Why?" Which likely isnt a good response, let alone the wanted response, but is generally the only response I can manage.

Just... why do you have a crush on me?

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Honestly, yeah. Although, it's almost instantly followed by intense repulsion and pity/guilt. But there is a certain sort of... confidence I acquire from it, at least at first? Like "Haha, I must be hot sh*t then, anyway... sorry, no." The first time I was confessed to, it was like that too; I was flattered at first, then quickly became terrified as all my body and soul went nope

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Posted (edited)

When someone has a crush on me it's just this weird tornado of negative emotions. I mostly experience a lot of repulsion/disgust and guilt. I remember once I found out my closest friend (at the time) had a crush on me and I actually I started shaking and sweating and feel sick. I also felt guilty for not being able to reciprocate his feelings, especially since he was going through a lot at the time and I thought that me being able to be in a romantic relationship with him would help. 

Edited by queer_kaleidoscope
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40 minutes ago, queer_kaleidoscope said:

When someone has a crush on me it's just this weird tornado of negative emotions. I mostly experience a lot of repulsion/disgust and guilt. I remember once I found out my closest friend (at the time) had a crush on me and I actually I started shaking and sweating and feel sick. I also felt guilty for not being able to reciprocate his feelings, especially since he was going through a lot at the time and I thought that me being able to be in a romantic relationship with him would help. 

That sucks, it's the worst when a friend confesses, especially in that type of situation. I'm sorry that happened to you :(

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Like a lot of things related to romance, in theory I love it but when it actually happens I feel repulsed and terrified. But after the negative feelings have passed I do feel a lot more confident. 

13 hours ago, roboticanary said:

Its nice when someone thinks highly of me.

Exactly, to have someone think highly of you is great! I just wished it was more normalized in a platonic way :/

A lot of my "crushes" were just people I deeply respected and admired, but back then I didn't even know that you could feel those things without romantic attraction, so I mislabeled my feelings.

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On 5/15/2022 at 6:03 PM, Sili said:

Honestly, the few times someone has confessed to me, its been confusion. Like, "Ok, erm.. Why?" Which likely isnt a good response, let alone the wanted response, but is generally the only response I can manage.

Just... why do you have a crush on me?

To me this is just so ... surreal and absurd. Someone having a crush on ME, yeah that perhaps happens in a parallel universe but not this one! So I want to get out of this situation ASAP. I probably get across as extremely rude.

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Honestly I’d like to think I’d be confident in that situation but 1.) I’ve never been confessed to and 2.) I’d probably be uncomfortable or nervous in that situation

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