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I wonder if I might be aplatonic


Holmbo
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I've never thought about it before because I'm generally a social person and enjoy spending time with others. But I feel like my enjoyment is often impersonal. I rarely feel any special connection to a specific person and a desire to get to know them better.

I would like to hear from those of you who identify as aplatonic. What's your interpretation and experience of it?

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I've had similar thoughts that lead to my conclusion I'm aplatonic too. I enjoy hanging out with and, of course, befriending people - but I don't feel that intense desire for a full connection, if we click, we click, if we don't, we'll just stay acquaintances. I've had close and best friends before, but we've typically drifted apart due to different interests or life circumstances. 

1 hour ago, user444 said:

Also, this probably isn't related to aplatonicism, but I feel repulsed by the idea of cuddling/kissing my friends. Feeling this could simply mean you don't like physical touch with your friends, but people commenting on how odd it was for me to hate it is what got me questioning. And also not relating to the way many aromantics prioritize their friends/platonic love. (Which isn't bad, I just felt different enough to look into it)

I hope this helped a little bit, good luck on your questioning journey!

I think it can be related to aplatonicism. I feel the same way, I refuse to be physically affectionate with my friends, not because I don't want to, I kind of wish to, but the thought of it makes me uncomfortable. I can only see myself being affectionate with my boyfriend. It feels a bit lonely being an aplatonic person in the aro community, they talk about how much they love their friends and I just sit there like "How does that feel??" Doesn't help that because I'm greyro, I experience more romantic attraction than I do platonic, which constantly makes me the odd one out in many aro spaces.  

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I identify as aplatonic (or maybe grayplatonic, but more aplatonic).

I enjoy spending time with my friends, but if I don't, I won't miss it. And if I do, I would miss spending time with someone, but not spending time with someone in particular, if that makes sense.

It doesn't mean I don't enjoy my friend company, or don't care about them. I even can say that I love some of them, though probably not in the way most people understand the word love. I will always help them, listen to them, sometimes suggest activities we can do together and enjoy talking to them... But I don't feel the platonic attraction that drives you to people in particular.

 

It was very different when I had a squish (I think I had at least one in my life). Then it was similar to what people describe about a crush, but without romantic component : I wanted to spend time with her, fantacizing about it a little bit, wondering how she were etc... And this, even if I never talked to her. I don't feel this way usually.

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7 hours ago, nonmerci said:

I identify as aplatonic (or maybe grayplatonic, but more aplatonic).

I enjoy spending time with my friends, but if I don't, I won't miss it. And if I do, I would miss spending time with someone, but not spending time with someone in particular, if that makes sense.

It doesn't mean I don't enjoy my friend company, or don't care about them. I even can say that I love some of them, though probably not in the way most people understand the word love. I will always help them, listen to them, sometimes suggest activities we can do together and enjoy talking to them... But I don't feel the platonic attraction that drives you to people in particular.

 

It was very different when I had a squish (I think I had at least one in my life). Then it was similar to what people describe about a crush, but without romantic component : I wanted to spend time with her, fantacizing about it a little bit, wondering how she were etc... And this, even if I never talked to her. I don't feel this way usually.

Same here, i might identify as aplatonic as well.

Edited by Cocothecoconut
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Thanks everyone for sharing. I'm not sure it helped me understand myself any clearer though 😅

I think what trips me up is I often don't relate to topics that other people are interested in. For example I'm an environmental activist and don't relate to many things tied to consumerist culture. But also since I'm aromantic and child free I don't relate to a lot of topics about family.

So maybe before I decide on my platonic orientation I should try to connect to some people with other kinds of interest.

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