When you want to express friendly affection but

[YokaiDisarray]

to most people it sounds flirtatious even though thats not my intention in the slightest. The amount of times I've been like "oh my god I love you so much" to friends and then immediately having to specify that im not attracted to them on any level. It is. Very annoying. Happens with compliments too.

I want to tell this guy I seen on occasion that I admire him a shit ton and want to know him better but the sheer amount of times I've done that/similar things to other people and 100% of the time they think I am flirting is. A lot. Allos stop making this difficult I just want to be friendly damnit </3

[Ikarus]

The only solution is to wear a big green shirt that says no romo. Every time they think you’re flirting, point to the shirt. 
 

“For example an aro says You are an awesome person” points at the big white bold letters after saying the compliment, NO ROMO. 
 

Edited April 14, 2022 by Ikarus

[SwiftySpeedy]

On 4/14/2022 at 6:51 PM, Ikarus said:

The only solution is to wear a big green shirt that says no romo. Every time they think you’re flirting, point to the shirt. 
 

“For example an aro says You are an awesome person” points at the big white bold letters after saying the compliment, NO ROMO. 
 

[The Newest Fabled Creature]

I feel like I unconsciously don't go "all the way" with how I want to show my affection with my friends, partially because I'm awkward and don't know how to fully show that I care, but also because of how friends are "supposed to be/act" in society, that I feel like still gets to me. I do tell my friends I love them though, nothing really stops me there and they know what I mean when I say it, but I feel like I could do more. It feels like I'm stranded on the islands of "Okay, how do I so them more affection?" and "But, other people and my friends may take it the wrong way, lemme just keep my distance from them emotionally."

[Holmbo]

On 7/7/2023 at 6:32 PM, The Newest Fabled Creature said:

I feel like I unconsciously don't go "all the way" with how I want to show my affection with my friends, partially because I'm awkward and don't know how to fully show that I care, but also because of how friends are "supposed to be/act" in society, that I feel like still gets to me. I do tell my friends I love them though, nothing really stops me there and they know what I mean when I say it, but I feel like I could do more. It feels like I'm stranded on the islands of "Okay, how do I so them more affection?" and "But, other people and my friends may take it the wrong way, lemme just keep my distance from them emotionally."

I also feel like this. I wish I could be more affectionate to people but the mere idea that they would take it as romantic makes me uncomfortable. I really feel this is a hindrance for me living my authentic self. If anyone has tips on how to overcome this I would welcome it. I'm thinking one way could be to find a friend with similar values as me about wanting to be more affectionate and we could practice with each other.

[CanadianBird]

Dude this is so me.

The only friends I've been able to say "Hey, I love you!" comfortably without insinuating romantic interest are the ones that already know I'm aromantic.

[The Newest Fabled Creature]

15 hours ago, Holmbo said:

I'm thinking one way could be to find a friend with similar values as me about wanting to be more affectionate and we could practice with each other.

That's a good way to go about it! It's one way that's kind of helped me in overcoming most of the perceptions others may have of me and my friends, by telling the friends I have that are very affectionate if I could try showing them affection like that too, or discussing with my friends who aren't overtly affectionate what it is I mean when I tell them I love them or want to hang out with them in a way that seems "romantic"; like just the two of us going to the movies or to a restaurant for example. It's necessarily perfect and I believe there could be better ways, but it's a start.

10 hours ago, nostalgia said:

The only friends I've been able to say "Hey, I love you!" comfortably without insinuating romantic interest are the ones that already know I'm aromantic.

Exactly!