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I'm 14 and i don't know If i'm actually aromantic or if it's conplusive heteronormativity


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I only recently realised i'm lesbian and i had a really hard time with that i feel Like i still didn't Accept it but now i don't know If i'm actually aromantic or Not. I feel like i could be but at the same time Not.

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That sounds like a pretty major realization! If it is only recent then sit with lesbianism for a while and see how it fits when you're more used to it. One realization at the time here ok? You can safely leave determining if you're aro until after you've had some more opportunity work through this set of new feelings about being a lesbian.

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All in your own time! There's no rush in figuring things or accepting things. What helped me was going through aro spaces (i.e apocalypse or even aro hashtags) And really sitting with the idea, though it may be unclear or even uncomfortable right now. It also might be helpful to note that labels are tools used to describe ourselves to other people and to ourselves, but your identity still holds value and truth without them!

 

 

edit: I realise that I should've probs told you how long "time" was for me. It took me about 3 years between questioning and actually claiming the label. 

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When I'm questioning, one thing that helps me is to make lists. So maybe, try to list what makes you think you are a lesbian, and then what makes you think you are aromantic. Also try to see if the reasons are not compatible or not (you could be an aro lesbian). Then try to see if the reasons you write for both are linked directly to the orientation (for instance, "I find women attractive but only in a sexual way"), or to other things (for instance "I find women attractive but I am scared of people's reactions if I date them"). Try also to read about people's experiences with these orientations, to see if what you listed have similarities or not.

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