Blake Posted September 28, 2021 Share Posted September 28, 2021 (edited) So I was thinking in this topic for a while, but my thoughts weren't that strong until now. When working in customer service I address people initially as: "welcome/ good morning/ good afternoon/ Hello, may I take your order?". Simple and without pronouns, just because I don't want to misgender by accident anyone. (Brief rant) However, some people don't seem to like it, I've had customers who take a bit of offense if I do not address them as sir. Doesn't happen almost at all with female presenting persons, and is usually 50+ age people who take the slight. Idk if its because I look young but it is only me who gets this problem, or maybe is because I decide to not gender them. (End of rant) The other employees, use a gendered language, they use sir/ ma'am/ lady/ gentlemen but above all, the next two sparks somehing in me, love and dear. "Hello dear; What do you want love?". They use it with anyone and the clients don't object at all. Granted, the majority are directed at females, but there have been occasions that it has been a male presenting client and still they do not object. I consider it first an above the line greeting or situation. I am not your love, I am not your dear. I do not know you enough for you to refer to me as any of those two words. I dislike the way people assume that you can be sweet with anyone in that aspect. Both as client or employee I do not like it when I hear it. I wish I could get the confidence to stop them and say something along the lines of: "Do not call me like that, I am not your love/dear; You are assuming I am someone special to you, which I am not, refer to me as my name". But the introverted me don't want to cause a scene and if I am the employee who hears it, how can I say to my coworker that they are being kinda sexist for assuming the gender of the client or they are going beyond boundaries by calling someone dear/love? I have seen it happen so much, that I am amazed people see it as normal when it should not be. Do not give yourself rights over someone else, no matter how minor they seem. Because that client may be trans, that client may be non-binary, that client may want to pass, that client may be with friends and then if referred by an incorrect pronoun, may be made fun of by their friends, maybe as teasing maybe not. But is a gamble I don't want to take. Its a small thing, but is something that for me, makes a lot of impact. Tell me your opinions on the matter, if you thought about it, if you have done it before, your experiences (cuz idk if im the weird one and am an outlier in this topic) Edit: It is using romantic coded words (love/dear) toward strangers. It is going there. I am uncomfy by it. I think that I can make someone uncomfy by putting them on the spot. By giving way to a relationship that will never exist. Because if I say hello love, may I take your order. I am opening a door toward that person saying yes please. And then that client may ask me for my number and my aro ass will say thank you have a nice day instead of a "uh?" Or an im aroace I don't do that. I just don't want to put anyone on the spot not be on it when I am working. Edited September 28, 2021 by Blake Forgot to add a paragraph 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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