What is this called?

[mewix]

Is there a term for like you just admire someone a lot for their traits in a way that attracts you to them? Not necessarily just intellectual ones.  I'm probs overthinking it lol

[Aronaut]

I came upon the word Sapiosexuality (for intellectual attraction), but I don't really know what to think of that one since it's usage seems so willy-nilly sometimes. I can't take it seriously when someone wants to use it as a sexual orientation because I can't tell if they meant it as a joke or not (no offence meant). There are articles that call this one pretentious and others that do take it seriously since intelligence is an aspect humans take into consideration when looking for a spouse. I think there was a spike in the usage of this world during the height of The Big Bang Theory :D That's why I take it with a grain of salt, because many who used it were fans and not truly commited to it or understood this as a real sexuality. 

I don't know if this word has been acknowledged by the lgbt++ community.
This is the only one I can remember right now... the others are more on a Philia spectrum. 

 

[aro_elise]

like a squish?  or different?

[mewix]

6 hours ago, Aronaut said:

I came upon the word Sapiosexuality (for intellectual attraction), but I don't really know what to think of that one since it's usage seems so willy-nilly sometimes. I can't take it seriously when someone wants to use it as a sexual orientation because I can't tell if they meant it as a joke or not (no offence meant).

I agree, I also know what you mean I seen that too a long time back and thought is this real? I mean yeah for sure it can be a deciding factor. I think at the time this weird scenario popperd up in my head about a clever woman who went to uni to learn and meeting with an equally clever guy and talking geeking stuff. And the a Woman saying I'm only attracted to intelligent people lol. 

Yeah in my case I was thinking of something of the seperate attraction model, so not necessarily sexual attraction following on from it or being related.  I seen intellectual attraction as defined as it's own thing too, but then I felt that there are wider traits and skills that wouldn't necessarily be intellectual.

 

3 hours ago, aro_elise said:

like a squish?  or different?

Yeah I guess kind of squish ish yeah like wanting to be friends from them can often come into it. 

Tho not necessarily in all cases. That person can feel more like a teacher or a role model or maybe you inspire them a bit too. 

I guess im just talking about deep admiration for someone. I dunno I had these weird admiration "crush" b4. And it is not necessarily sexual or romantic.

Or someone talks a lot about a certain celeb and acts quite involved but not cuz a crush but an deep interest in or a way of life. In that case you don't necessarily want to be friends or maybe in some cases you do? But can't lol. 

I guess "girl crush" (I know some ppl dislike that term but girls and women often use it) describes it to some extent at least in some scenarios as it isn't necessarily romantic or sexual but usually an element of platonic I suppose.

[Leia]

maybe aesthetic attraction? but it means that you find someone's appearance pleasing. not sure if that's what your looking for.

[Aronaut]

On 8/7/2021 at 8:15 AM, mewix said:

Yeah in my case I was thinking of something of the seperate attraction model, so not necessarily sexual attraction following on from it or being related.  I seen intellectual attraction as defined as it's own thing too, but then I felt that there are wider traits and skills that wouldn't necessarily be intellectual.

I think I can relate to this a little. I saw a woman, all clad in black, with colourful tattoos all over her body, she wore coloured sun glasses, has shoulder length red hair that was permed. She wore black leather platoon boots and walked across the street where I stopped my car to let her pass. She cocked her head in my direction and gave me that savvy smile that was less a thanks but her acknowledging the obvious for letting her pass. 

I know nothing about her, but I think I felt a deep attraction towards the confidence she had. It was far from sexual attraction. I thought it would be cool to have such a friend, I also thought it would be cool to be like her, and I also thought it was good I lost sight of her because now she would be forever that confident and suave woman in my memories.

 

[mewix]

5 hours ago, Leia Williams said:

maybe aesthetic attraction? but it means that you find someone's appearance pleasing. not sure if that's what your looking for.

Hmm yea not really so much based on their appearance like that's a seperate thing for me I think, more how they act or that. 

3 hours ago, Aronaut said:

I think I can relate to this a little. I saw a woman, all clad in black, with colourful tattoos all over her body, she wore coloured sun glasses, has shoulder length red hair that was permed. She wore black leather platoon boots and walked across the street where I stopped my car to let her pass. She cocked her head in my direction and gave me that savvy smile that was less a thanks but her acknowledging the obvious for letting her pass. 

I know nothing about her, but I think I felt a deep attraction towards the confidence she had. It was far from sexual attraction. I thought it would be cool to have such a friend, I also thought it would be cool to be like her, and I also thought it was good I lost sight of her because now she would be forever that confident and suave woman in my memories.

 

Ah yeaaa this sort of thing like a sense of confidence would be one example of something that makes an impression on you of someone. 

[quarterpast4am]

I get what you mean, and I usually label this as alterous attraction. To me, alterous attraction is an emotional attraction that isn't necessarily platonic, sensual, sexual, intellectual, etc. It's just something different.

I don't know how to explain it, sorry for my vagueness ?

[mewix]

6 hours ago, quarterpast4am said:

I get what you mean, and I usually label this as alterous attraction. To me, alterous attraction is an emotional attraction that isn't necessarily platonic, sensual, sexual, intellectual, etc. It's just something different.

I don't know how to explain it, sorry for my vagueness ?

Ah interesting, I thought that was usually a term applied to something inbetween romantic and platonic or something a bit more than platonic but not romantic. I didn't know it could mean something more different to that. Yeah it's none of those really (platonic, romantic, sexual) though possible in some cases the hint of intellectual. 

[quarterpast4am]

7 hours ago, mewix said:

Ah interesting, I thought that was usually a term applied to something inbetween romantic and platonic or something a bit more than platonic but not romantic. I didn't know it could mean something more different to that. Yeah it's none of those really (platonic, romantic, sexual) though possible in some cases the hint of intellectual. 

I think that's the common definition, but I've also seen a lot of people also label it as a strong form of emotional connection. I use queerplatonic attraction for something between romantic and platonic :) that's just me though lol, it's up to you ofc

[Just a Bear]

On 8/6/2021 at 4:26 PM, mewix said:

Is there a term for like you just admire someone a lot

I would say I admire them or something, appreciate them, idk. Is it a platonic feeling of admiration? I think admire/appreciate would capture the feeling just fine. I don't know if there's anything else that could be said besides a squish. maybe it's alterous like was said, but I'm no expert on that.