Hi all!

[Mell]

Hi everyone! I am 22, nonbinary, and identified as queer/eventually a lesbian for some time and while I still identify with those labels in some ways I am thinking I am likely aromantic and possibly asexual. It is very confusing because I feel very much in a grey area in terms of sexuality and romance. I have had serious crushes on people and felt strong sexual attraction, but the idea of attraction being reciprocated, especially romantic attraction, makes me very uncomfortable and makes the attraction I felt completely fade away. I found the term "lithromantic" and I am not sure if any of you identify with that but I think it fits for me. I have questioned many times whether this feeling could be due to avoidant attachment or fear of intimacy, but I am very close and secure with friends and family so don't think that's the case. Lately I've been feeling very scared and lonely about likely being aro and have had a hard time bringing it up to talk about with friends, so if anyone relates to this or wants to talk about it I would love that :) 

[roboticanary]

Hi Mell

hope you enjoy it here.

Same here on having a hard time bringing it up with friends, A handful of people know but there are definitely people I know who I have no desire to let find out about my aromanticism.

[alto]

Welcome Mell!

[Leia]

@Mell hello and welcome to Arocalypse!

figuring out your identity can be confusing, i myself am not sure about my sexuality yet.

my closest friends know that i'm aro, but there are certain friends who don't know about it, and i'm not sure how to break it to them, or should i even tell them in the first place. luckily we can't meet because of covid, so that's giving me some time to think and decide.

[Mell]

@Leia Williams thank you Leia! It can be really confusing I totally relate to that. And I really understand not telling certain people or questioning whether you should even tell them. I've been thinking about that in terms of my parents because even though they were very supportive when I came out as queer I'm not sure they would even think aromanticism or asexuality is even real and they would probably need a lot of time to accept it.