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Am I bisexual?


Guest confusedlol
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Guest confusedlol

I’m a straight women, only ever been attracted to the opposite gender but I’ve always had a thought and been curious about the same gender? I’m attracted to some female celebrities the way I am to male celebrities and recently I’ve been thinking about women a lot more… does that mean I’m bisexual or am I bicurious? I’ve never had a sexual experience with a women, I’ve kissed a few on drunken nights out but never thought any difference so can I be bisexual without having that experience ? Is there not a stigma about straight  woman experiencing, I don’t want to feel as if I’m using anyone to understand who I am… HELPPPP

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3 hours ago, Guest confusedlol said:

I’m a straight women, only ever been attracted to the opposite gender but I’ve always had a thought and been curious about the same gender? I’m attracted to some female celebrities the way I am to male celebrities and recently I’ve been thinking about women a lot more… does that mean I’m bisexual or am I bicurious? I’ve never had a sexual experience with a women, I’ve kissed a few on drunken nights out but never thought any difference so can I be bisexual without having that experience ? Is there not a stigma about straight  woman experiencing, I don’t want to feel as if I’m using anyone to understand who I am… HELPPPP

Here's something I read the other day which you may find helpful:

Quote

when i was trying to figure out if it was gay or bi or asexual or what sitting on the internet and obsessing over my feelings didn’t help me at all, it just drove me crazy

i needed to go out there, fall in love, experience things, hook up with people, give myself time. sitting at home and trying to figure out if what i felt for men/women/whoever is sexual attraction was useless. taking off the pressure to find my label and letting myself just be was so much more liberating and allowed me to actually experience things that made realising i was bi extremely easy.

You can definitely be bisexual regardless of what actual sexual experiences you've had. But you might find it less stressful to worry less about figuring out RIGHT NOW what label best applies to you, and instead give yourself time and space to see what sorts of attractions you experience (or don't experience).

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Guest Seven Ball

Sexuality is kind of a spectrum. Pick up whatever label makes most sense to YOU, whatever feels most natural to YOU, whatever makes you feel most happy.

Maybe try to "pretend" you're bisexual for a while (even if only to yourself) and if it turns out that it feels actually very good and "right", you probably got it! But if not, well, there's a little secret: You don't have to perfectly label your sexuality at all. Just go with the flow and listen to your body. Do what feels natural to you. Don't take stereotypes about sex seriously, they're not helping. You might or might not fit the stereotype, but why care? It doesn't matter. What does matter is knowing what makes you happy.

So what if you're bisexual, or bi-curius? Then so be it! So what if you're NOT bisexual? So be it. Good friends should accept you either way. They should also accept you while questioning.

And maybe, if finding a label is important to you, you can try to infer your orientation from your past feelings and actions, and check if you see some pattern.

What you should NOT do it think about hypotheticals. I.e. thinking that you might be sexuality XYZ because for the purely hypothetical statistical possibility that you MIGHT one day have feelings towards X (although you never had them before). These hypotheticals can really screw up your mind if you think too long about them. It leads people to think there's a 0.0000001% chance they might be <INSERT SEXUALITY HERE> and it drives them nuts because they might be "wrong" about their labelling after all. But labels are not an obligation. They are a tool to describe yourself. And as with any tool, you can tuck it away if it no longer suits you. I know that I was long time in denial, it's not fun.

What is more important than labels IMHO is knowing what makes you happy, knowing how your feelings "work", understanding yourself. Doing some soul-search can definitely help. And from THAT experiences, you can later try to infer the labels then.

Note that this is different that if you already know that you find <INSERT GENDER HERE> hot, even if you never actually had sex with them so far. In that case, it's perfectly reasonable to pick up a label already. You don't have to actually have sex with that gender (yet) to know that you felt attraction towards them. Remember, sexual attraction is something that comes from inside.

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