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Was this actually a crush?


TripleA
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So, I can pretty much such that I've never had a proper crush...

 

Well, almost. 

 

There's this one "crush" I had when I was 14/15 that I'm still a bit confused about. 

 

So there was this girl in my Media class who I will call G. I remember always admiring how beautiful she was whenever I was around her, and maybe a couple times not around her too. I also remember wanting to talk to her and to connect with her in some way, she was nice.

 

I was nervous around her, but maybe that's because she was so pretty, and I was a special needs kid at school like this girl was out of my league. I get nervous around girls. 

 

Come to think of it, I'm not sure if I ever thought about her that much...again I got over her quickly whenever this all stopped. 

 

Oh yeah, I never felt anything sexual, or that sensual for some reason (I guess my sexual attraction was still not there yet or something)

 

I think there is definitely aesthetic attraction though, I'm thinking it's either a squish or a crush but I really don't know. I'm confused. 

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I know this isn't exactly helpful, but you'll have to decide for yourself. I get something kind of like this sometimes, but the question mark next to my romantic orientation is there for a reason. And as always, aromanticism is a spectrum, it might just be that we experience romantic attraction sometimes with it being too weak to notice (or separate it from platonic/aesthetic attraction) it most of the time.

 

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I have had the same as you, but with a guy. I was also always in awe of how beautiful he was (he is still the most gorgeous person I have ever laid eyes on) and I enjoyed being around him. I am still questioning my romatic orientation but I think I am lithromantic, which could explain the maybe crush I had on this guy. I dont know where you are on the spectrum, but perhaps lithromantic could explain your feelings. 

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On 9/21/2019 at 12:05 PM, Philotes said:

I have had the same as you, but with a guy. I was also always in awe of how beautiful he was (he is still the most gorgeous person I have ever laid eyes on) and I enjoyed being around him. I am still questioning my romatic orientation but I think I am lithromantic, which could explain the maybe crush I had on this guy. I dont know where you are on the spectrum, but perhaps lithromantic could explain your feelings. 

I'm not sure if the term would apply to me that much; I do remember wanting to be in a relationship with her, but I think I only thought that way because I associated any strong feelings for someone to be a crush and that I would want to date them, even if I didn't really. Maybe the idea of a relationship with her did entertain me somewhat, but I never thought about going through with it, I mean I class romantic attraction as something like "to desire a romantic relationship or to do romantic things with someone". 

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I'm not sure if the term would apply to me that much; I do remember wanting to be in a relationship with her, but I think I only thought that way because I associated any strong feelings for someone to be a crush and that I would want to date them, even if I didn't really. Maybe the idea of a relationship with her did entertain me somewhat, but I never thought about going through with it, I mean I class romantic attraction as something like "to desire a romantic relationship or to do romantic things with someone"

 

Ah yes I see what you mean. I do have to say that I did not necessarily want a relationship either. I enjoyed the fantasy in my head, but I would never have persued it. Idk attraction is weird ?

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On 9/26/2019 at 3:41 AM, TripleA said:

I'm not sure if the term would apply to me that much; I do remember wanting to be in a relationship with her, but I think I only thought that way because I associated any strong feelings for someone to be a crush and that I would want to date them, even if I didn't really. Maybe the idea of a relationship with her did entertain me somewhat, but I never thought about going through with it, I mean I class romantic attraction as something like "to desire a romantic relationship or to do romantic things with someone". 

 

This applies to me so much lol

The few times this happens to me, I usually don't take it as "a crush", 'cause - well - I'm not actually interested in making something about it, I mean, I enjoy the person company, want to share time with them, think about them a lot, maye don't wanting them to be in a relationship with others, but don't ever wanted to do any romantic stuff at all, like i dunno holding hands, kiss, saying romantic stuff or else. I don't feel the need to "make a move", if this means something to you ahahah

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