withrainfall Posted November 20, 2018 Share Posted November 20, 2018 Hi all! I'm in my late twenties and am most probably aromantic and demisexual. Never had crushes, but I love kissing, cuddling and sex if they're with the right person. I might've had squishes on a couple of fictional characters I have experienced secondary, but never primary, sexual attraction. This has been with 1 person. I'm sometimes aesthetically attracted to people. No clue what romantic attraction is, and I'm only just beginning to understand why people might crave romance My family doesn't get the difference between romantic & sexual attraction, and insists that "I'm not letting myself" fall in love because I feel inferior & I'm too scared FWB/QPR sounds good to me. Having said that, I've always had avoidance issues, particularly around friendship. So I'm also very lonely and afraid of emotional intimacy. As my life has begun to improve, I'm more open to the idea of dating, if only to prove my family wrong I really like those slow burn slash fanfictions where people are just head over heels by the end of it I'm very... hesitant to get involved with people emotionally and this is what terrifies me about dating. I've always viewed it as a kind of craving to be closer than close, and I'm romance-repulsed in the sense that I think romantic relationships are juvenile and overly focused on. "A relationship' doesn't just mean romantic/sexual, and I've come to loathe the word when it's used as shorthand for romantic/sexual relationship. Genuinely don't understand how a romantic relationship is functionally different from... like, best mates with benefits who live together. I'm very shy of/scared of initiating anything, e.g. kissing, but have made out with a guy on the second date. But I have no idea if that's what sexual attraction is - it's physical chemistry, yes, but attraction? For some reason, I think I may be heterosexual, but I'm not sure. Sorry for the tl;dr. What d'you guys think? cheers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emerald Cheetah Posted November 22, 2018 Share Posted November 22, 2018 Hello! Based on your description I'd say you're aromantic. I'm also romance repulsed so I can relate to some of what you said. However I wouldn't be able to say whether or not you're demisexual because I'm also quite confused where I stand in terms of sexuality. I identify as heterosexual but it's not as clear as my aromanticism. Sure, I have sexual "desire" but I've never experienced sexual "attraction" towards anyone (at least not that I know of). Hopefully someone else can drop by and give you their opinion on the sexuality portion because I honestly can't answer that one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nonmerci Posted November 26, 2018 Share Posted November 26, 2018 I think that's possible, though it always hard to say what feel another person. Any way I tend to think that just the fact that you wonder makes things probable (as people say, you know it when you feel it, so if you don't know, there is a high probability that you don't feel romantic attraction). Demisexuality is define by the fact you can feel sexual attraction only after creating à bond with a person. So if your sexual attraction is always secondaire, you might be demi, or at least somewhere in the ace spectrum. Hope it helped ! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eklinaar Posted November 27, 2018 Share Posted November 27, 2018 I can relate to some of this, since I have also been questioning whether or not I'm demisexual or allosexual. I don't fully fit the definition of demisexual because I am sexually attracted to strangers, but everything else about demisexuality sounds like me. It's like, if the base potential for sexual attraction for demisexual people starts at 0 and then slowly increases to 10 as they form an emotional connection, mine starts at 2 and slowly increases to 10 as I form an emotional connection. I think you have to decide what you are for yourself unfortunately. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Brooke Posted October 30, 2022 Share Posted October 30, 2022 I relate to most of these things, only I'm repulsed by cuddling, kissing, any touching that's in a romantic or sexual way. I've never felt any kind of sexual attraction to anyone whatsoever. Nor romantic attraction. I've had crushes on fictional characters but not real people. I do not develop any kind of feelings for a person no matter the length of time I've known them. Still have no idea what I am though haha. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.