aro_elise Posted May 14, 2018 Share Posted May 14, 2018 That’s what I call platonic + sexual attraction. So I’m in Japan (leaving in a few hours) and I met some people at my hostel. One of them is French (a lot of them are French—I’m Canadian so I speak it pretty well and he’s good at English too) and he’s really attractive and cool and he’s 22 which is kind of like my upper limit in terms of attraction (I’m almost 20)...anyway, I wanted to talk about it to see how all your experiences compared. So when I first met him, I was like ‘oh, he’s pretty hot’ then as we hung out more (with others) I was like, ‘yeah he’s cool’, sort of registering that I might have an aro crush, then just now I was alone in the lounge, he came out of the shower and I was like ‘ok act casual’, we talked a bit and I was like ‘aro crush confirmed’. But I’m not really upset that I’m leaving and will never see him again, as I think people with a romantic crush would be. Meeting him—and the others—was just like, a nice part of the experience of the trip. So yeah just a lil update. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abster Posted May 14, 2018 Share Posted May 14, 2018 Dude! So yeah get those too?! That’s why for awhile I didn’t know I was Aro cause I’d confuse sexual attraction with romantic attraction but when I analyzed more I realized my ‘crushes’ were all physical like I wanted to make out/have sex with rather than date them but then there were other times where I’d think ‘yeah I like this dude as friend but I also wouldn’t mind I had sex with him!’ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aro_elise Posted May 14, 2018 Author Share Posted May 14, 2018 Yeah man! I used to assume it was a “normal” crush (romantic + sexual, I guess), but once I realized I was aro I was like ohh yeah ok. And of course I can get squishes (purely platonic) on any gender, which I never questioned. But yeah, I get like, a few aro crushes a year, maybe, and they can be as short-lived as this one, or if it’s someone I see regularly it could potentially last several months. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abster Posted May 15, 2018 Share Posted May 15, 2018 It’s kinda strange to me cause I feel society romanticizes Sex while at the same time sexualizes romance, which is a strong reason a lot of aces and aros have hard time understanding who they are Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Posted May 15, 2018 Share Posted May 15, 2018 On 14/05/2018 at 3:22 AM, aro_elise said: That’s what I call platonic + sexual attraction. I find this term to be oxymoronic. Given that 'platonic' and 'sexual' are mutually exclusive... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aro_elise Posted May 15, 2018 Author Share Posted May 15, 2018 1 hour ago, Mark said: I find this term to be oxymoronic. Given that 'platonic' and 'sexual' are mutually exclusive... Friendly, then. Like a squish, plus sexual attraction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladyasym Posted May 16, 2018 Share Posted May 16, 2018 Yeah, I definitely know exactly what you're talking about. For the longest time, I thought it was what people meant when they said 'crush'. I still don't understand what a romantic crush is, or how it differs from thinking someone is a cool person, and wanting to get physical with them. Like, if the main focus of a romantic crush is just doing things with the other person, how does that make it romantic?? Anyway, too bad that nothing happened with that French guy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aro_elise Posted May 20, 2018 Author Share Posted May 20, 2018 I know, I think the fact that we don’t really understand what romance is (at least I’ll speak for myself) makes a lot of things more confusing, especially during the initial figuring-it-out period. Aha yeah well I’m pretty happy just to admire. Btw, I just showed my dad a picture of him—we were watching an eagles concert dvd and I was making the point that he had the 70s look going on—and he said “yeah, wow,” and then “good-looking guy.” Lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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