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My latest aro crush


aro_elise
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That’s what I call platonic + sexual attraction.  So I’m in Japan (leaving in a few hours) and I met some people at my hostel.  One of them is French (a lot of them are French—I’m Canadian so I speak it pretty well and he’s good at English too) and he’s really attractive and cool and he’s 22 which is kind of like my upper limit in terms of attraction (I’m almost 20)...anyway, I wanted to talk about it to see how all your experiences compared.  So when I first met him, I was like ‘oh, he’s pretty hot’ then as we hung out more (with others) I was like, ‘yeah he’s cool’, sort of registering that I might have an aro crush, then just now I was alone in the lounge, he came out of the shower and I was like ‘ok act casual’, we talked a bit and I was like ‘aro crush confirmed’.  But I’m not really upset that I’m leaving and will never see him again, as I think people with a romantic crush would be.  Meeting him—and the others—was just like, a nice part of the experience of the trip.  So yeah just a lil update. 

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Dude! So yeah get those too?! That’s why for awhile I didn’t know I was Aro cause I’d confuse sexual attraction with romantic attraction but when I analyzed more I realized my ‘crushes’ were all physical like I wanted to make out/have sex with rather than date them but then there were other times where I’d think ‘yeah I like this dude as friend but I also wouldn’t mind I had sex with him!’ 

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Yeah man!  I used to assume it was a “normal” crush (romantic + sexual, I guess), but once I realized I was aro I was like ohh yeah ok.  And of course I can get squishes (purely platonic) on any gender, which I never questioned.  But yeah, I get like, a few aro crushes a year, maybe, and they can be as short-lived as this one, or if it’s someone I see regularly it could potentially last several months. 

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It’s kinda strange to me cause I feel society romanticizes Sex while at the same time sexualizes romance, which is a strong reason a lot of aces and aros have hard time understanding who they are 

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On 14/05/2018 at 3:22 AM, aro_elise said:

That’s what I call platonic + sexual attraction.

I find this term to be oxymoronic. Given that 'platonic' and 'sexual' are mutually exclusive...

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1 hour ago, Mark said:

I find this term to be oxymoronic. Given that 'platonic' and 'sexual' are mutually exclusive...

Friendly, then.  Like a squish, plus sexual attraction. 

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Yeah, I definitely know exactly what you're talking about. For the longest time, I thought it was what people meant when they said 'crush'. I still don't understand what a romantic crush is, or how it differs from thinking someone is a cool person, and wanting to get physical with them. Like, if the main focus of a romantic crush is just doing things with the other person, how does that make it romantic?? 

Anyway, too bad that nothing happened with that French guy! 

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I know, I think the fact that we don’t really understand what romance is (at least I’ll speak for myself) makes a lot of things more confusing, especially during the initial figuring-it-out period.  

Aha yeah well I’m pretty happy just to admire.  

Btw, I just showed my dad a picture of him—we were watching an eagles concert dvd and I was making the point that he had the 70s look going on—and he said “yeah, wow,” and then “good-looking guy.”  Lol

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