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I have a squish.. I think?


Aliyiah
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So I guess I'll start at the beginning:

I currently have a friend whom I met during a festival this summer, we've kept contact after it. He lives a few hours away (by train) and I visited him this weekend and now I'm kinda confused about some things.

We met with some other people in the evenings but I spent the day from friday til this noon at his place.

I realized it was really easy to talk to him, even though I normally don't tell people much about me because I have slight trust issues (the joy of too many broken friend-/relationships) but we kept talking

about everything that came to mind, also personal stuff (of course we've talked before in person before and through social media but I just realized how easy it actually was).

Right now I'm confused because I feel drawn to him and really want to keep the friendship up and I want to keep contact, does this sound like a squish? It's nothing romantic, that's the only thing I can say for sure.

I would say it is but we're already pretty close and from the definitions of squish it's the desire for a platonic connection (please correct me if I'm wrong) but we already have that.

Could this be a squish or is it something else? (I know it's different for everybody but some advice would help)

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I'm not too clear about squishes as I can't distinctly remember having one, but I guess the feeling drawn to another person is a sign of a squish? if it was just a good friendship starting there might be more ambivalent feelings - you would still want to talk to or see your other good friends first or something. The ease of talking and extending of trust to sort of a stranger could be part of a squish too as I know there is a romantic counterpart for this when people have crushes. 

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sounds like a squish to me.  i get them fairly often, and have one currently, on an internet friend.  basically talking or even listening to her (on live streams) makes me really happy and i want to get to know her better and maintain contact.  as for the ones i've had on irl acquaintances, i enjoyed and looked forward to seeing them and talking to them, in a slightly different way than with longtime or casual friends--more excitement, i guess--not nervousness; it can still be comfortable.  even if we're already friends, as you say you are, it's a slightly different feeling.  hard to describe.

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 12/4/2017 at 8:26 AM, Aliyiah said:

I would say it is but we're already pretty close and from the definitions of squish it's the desire for a platonic connection (please correct me if I'm wrong) but we already have that.

I have three kinds of 'friend crushes' (platonic attraction). The first is when i see someone just out in public and i think they look interesting to sit down, have a coffee and discuss life with. The second is when i want to know a peer better and be better friends with them- i know them, they seem nice, cool to talk to, and id like to get to know them better. The third, and generally the strongest for me is when i have a friend that i'm already super close to, and want to deepen that connection even futher. This is my favorite cause i feel really safe with them (cause i already know them really well) and they make me really happy to be around, and both being introverts, my current squish and I both are happy to talk online, and just kinda hang out in person.

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3 hours ago, OpenAce said:

I have three kinds of 'friend crushes' (platonic attraction). The first is when i see someone just out in public and i think they look interesting to sit down, have a coffee and discuss life with. The second is when i want to know a peer better and be better friends with them- i know them, they seem nice, cool to talk to, and id like to get to know them better. The third, and generally the strongest for me is when i have a friend that i'm already super close to, and want to deepen that connection even futher.

 

I have pretty similar "squish levels".

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5 minutes ago, OpenAce said:

It's good to know I'm not the only one :)

 

Yeah, it's very reassuring. Sometimes it's difficult to understand if what i'm feeling is a squish or not (like the OP wrote), so to me, breaking it down into different levels is actually super helpful.

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3 hours ago, Apathetic Echidna said:

I've never had a squish so had no idea there could be levels of squish. Though I guess most of my normal friendship progression would be similar to the middle level you describe.

I'm not sure its like that for everyone, but its certainly how it is for me...

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