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so i met this guy


aro_elise
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so i was hanging around my place with my friend when my roommate comes in with her friend.  i thought he was cute but didn't think much about it, didn't even know whether there was anything going on between them.  well, apparently not--he asked her what i was doing at uni and later texted her asking about me: 'what's her situation?  straight, single?  asking for a friend.'  i told her to say yes to both (i know, the former is a stretch) and now we're texting.  i don't know how i feel about it.  he seems cool and my roommate says he's really smart and she thinks we'd get along well.  i'm wondering how far it'll go and at what point i should tell him i'm aro.  my roommate and my best friend (the one i mentioned--she knows i'm aro) are both super excited about it.  i'm pretty much just thinking aloud here, i'll update as necessary. 

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The way to handle it might depend on how you feel about romantically coded activities. If you dislike any kind of romantic activity it might be good to tell him that early. But if you would be interested in dating, holding hands, cuddling etc then I think you could wait a bit.

 

 

 

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4 hours ago, Holmbo said:

The way to handle it might depend on how you feel about romantically coded activities. If you dislike any kind of romantic activity it might be good to tell him that early. But if you would be interested in dating, holding hands, cuddling etc then I think you could wait a bit.

yeah, i don't like that stuff.  i don't want this to be a repeat of the fiasco which was my relationship with my ex but i'm interested in a non-romantic relationship.  i think i'm getting ahead of myself, though, we haven't even spent time alone together.  thanks for your input.

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On 14/11/2017 at 7:45 AM, aro_elise said:

yeah, i don't like that stuff.

as you don't like those mentioned things I guess stating that when you do get time together would probably be more important than actually coming out as aro. You can talk about acceptable and non-acceptable behaviours between friends very early in a friendship. This is just in case you don't really feel like coming out early on in the connection you are starting. . 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Probably mention it some time in the first date? I figure it's best to offer a disclaimer (and come out) as soon as you know he's seriously considering so that you minimize any damage you might do. It also keeps him from doing anything romantic before he even has a chance to do it. Then, if he's cool about aromanticism, celebrate the occasion with pistachio ice cream! Or some other variety of green frozen treat, for the vegans and nut-allergic of the world.

 

That's just my take on it. 

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  • 3 weeks later...

i won't bore you with the details, but basically i found out this guy isn't the sort of person with whom i'd like to get involved.  i'll keep your advice in mind for the future, though, along with your vegan green frozen treat ideas!

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