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Most aro song of the 2000s?


Apathetic Echidna
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With my new knowledge and self awareness I listened to a song with new ears, 'Gunning Down Romance' by Savage Garden. 

I read the lyrics and saw a journey of an aro who has not discovered the term or a community trying to navigate an amatonormative world while dealing with how they feel.

Lyrics: 

 

Love and other moments
Are just chemical reactions in your brain
And feelings of aggression
Are the absence of the love drug in your viens
In your veins
Love come quickly
Because I feel my self esteem is caving in
It's on the brink
Love come quickly
Because I don't think I can keep this monster in
It's in my skin
Love and other socially acceptable emotions are morphine
They're morphine
Cleverly concealing primal urges often felt but rarely seen
Rarely seen
Love I beg you
Lift me up into that privileged point of view
The world of two
Love don't leave me
Because I console myself that
Hallmark cards are true
I really do
I'm gunning down romance
It never did a thing for me
But heartache and misery
Ain't nothing but a tragedy
Love don't leave me
Take these broken wings
I'm going to take these broken wings
And learn to fly
And learn to fly away
And learn to fly away
I'm gunning down romance

Song:

 

This song was released on an album that came out in 2000. Which was many many years before I even heard about the possibility of 'a' being an end of the spectrum. I'm fairly sure the song was meant to be sort of a break up song, possibly, or maybe about living with hate and how it limits your relationship freedoms BUT one thing is sure, romance is vilified in this song.

Do you interpret it in a similar way, or do you hear something else?

This song was released on an album that came out in 2000. Which was many many years before I even heard about the possibility of 'a' being an end of the spectrum. I'm fairly sure the song was meant to be sort of a break-up song, possibly, or maybe about living with hate and how it limits your relationship freedoms BUT one thing is sure, romance is vilified in this song.

Do you interpret it in a similar way, or do you hear something else?

 

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I dunno @Apathetic Echidna. It doesn't really come across as aromantic to me. More jaded romantic. I get the sense of somebody who, having experienced the romantic 'high', is now experiencing the 'crash'. There's criticism of romance as not being the most stable or dependable of things, but one rather gets the impression that the singer has indeed experienced it first hand :P (so, not an aromantic song IMO. In particular, I don't think an aromantic would have written that line about "heartache and misery")

 

Conceptually I'm a bit reminded of Lorde's recent Melodrama album. Lots of little lyrical digs at romance and romantics in there too (plus drug comparisons), but one also rather gets the impression there that it's coming from a place of not entirely pleasant past experience as very much one of them and not an outsider's (aromantic) perspective.

Examples:

 

Ain't a pill that could touch our rush

(but what will we do when we're sober)

 

I'll give you my best side

tell you all my best lies

 

Our thing progresses

I call and you come through

Blow all my friendships

to sit in hell with you

 

They'll talk about us, all the lovers

How we kiss and kill each other

 

I still feel you now and then

Slow like pseudo-ephedrine

 

What the fuck are perfect places anyway?

 

So, whilst I enjoyed that album a lot, I took it as being an album about romance, written by a romantic person. Just rather more prepared to stare down the negative aspects of the thing than your typical pop album (and consequently rather more interesting to me than your typical pop album)

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@NullVector I slap my own perspective on most of the songs I listen to ~ which is probably why I don't realise so many of them are about sex. Both of the singers in Savage Garden were romantics in difficult situations so it would be most logical that they created and performed this as embittered romantics rather than aros. 

 

I see some of the jabs at romance in the Lorde lyrics, and really they seem to be what we complain about here a lot: dumping friends, choosing emotional turmoil, basking in infatuation but not setting up a relationship. 

Are there even any aromantic songwriters out there writing about this stuff? and even then there would be less stuff the further back in time you go.....

DooWop is 99% about love and romance, so I just put my 'found family feels' goggles on when listening. 

 

 

Edit: Found a song list someone else put together (http://aromanticaardvark.tumblr.com) but I don't know most of the songs

Quote

1. we’re going to be friends–the white stripes 

2. i’ll be there for you–the rembrandts 

3. no angels–bastille 

4. oh no!–marina and the diamonds 

5. creeps me out–ima robot 

6. hello–martin solveig and dragonette 

7.starstrukk–3OH!3 

8. overrated–mika 

9. this is gospel–panic! at the disco 

10. love song–sara bareilles 

11. you’re my best friend–queen 

12. nothing left to say–imagine dragons 

13. count on me–bruno mars 

14. don’t waste your love on me–this is ivy league

 

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14 hours ago, Apathetic Echidna said:

I see some of the jabs at romance in the Lorde lyrics, and really they seem to be what we complain about here a lot: dumping friends, choosing emotional turmoil, basking in infatuation but not setting up a relationship

Yep. I like her :) But I think it just comes with the territory of being a thoughtful human being, rather than an aromantic one.

 

14 hours ago, Apathetic Echidna said:

Are there even any aromantic songwriters out there writing about this stuff? and even then there would be less stuff the further back in time you go.....

I was speculating Leonard Cohen here. And he goes back a pretty long way! I thought some of his songs could be written from an aro-sexual perspective, long before such terminology existed. But that might also be me "slap(ing) my own perspective on most of the songs I listen to".  

 

On the other hand, if songs exploring the dark side of romantic infatuation are of interest to you, then PJ Harvey has cornered the market on that, IMO :) (she had a thing with Aussie artist and Leonard Cohen fan Nick Cave for a while)

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Since this thread is about music, I want to share a song that I found. I can interpret it as an amazing metaphor about aromanticism and the fact that it is innate and we can't change and that people have to understand us and stop pressuring us into doing so. The chorus and the last part say it all...  That last line: "He could not take from the forest what was never meant to leave" 

 

 

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@Ice Queen I got some strong The Last Unicorn vibes from the woodwind before the singing and art style! Very pretty though, the vocals, the visuals but goodness it got dark. The message of unattainability via a disconnect, and even the misunderstanding through communications does make this an amazing metaphor from aromanticism. Thank you so much for sharing! 

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

my favourite band is Pierce the Veil and they have this song called Stay Away From My Friends.  it's about when Vic (the lead singer) broke up with this girl and she started to hang around with his friends a lot, almost try to steal them away from him.  I like it because it places emphasis on the importance of friendship, whereas most breakup songs would be just about the person's ex.  also, I really like the following line: 'and as you tie me to the bed for good I say / that I want you in the most unromantic way'.  the verse is actually about Vic's depression (which I also have), the 'you' referring to it rather than to the girl, though it does have sexual connotations.  Vic isn't aro, but it's a really beautiful song and I always smile when I hear the 'unromantic way' line.  I even like the way he writes romantic lyrics in other songs; I just love everything about this band.  i'm emo trash so the majority of my music is about depression and stuff, which I like, both because I can relate to it, and because I can't relate to the romantic lyrics which are so prevalent in so many other musical genres, so, in contrast, you know.  I write lyrics myself, and they follow a similar pattern.  I actually have a song about my experience with aromanticism and my first and only relationship.  anyway, Stay Away From My Friends is my favourite song in terms of aro-ness.  you can listen to it and check out the lyrics and analysis here: https://genius.com/805067.

 

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6 hours ago, aro_elise said:

i'm emo trash

A very big welcome indeed, I was recently complaining on the Arocalypse discord about how much I miss classical emo music and that emo needs a resurgence. I myself am a pop punk tragic with a grand appreciation for the grand old days of emo at it's height (also a lowkey fixation on early post punk revival). I shall definitely check out the link when it is not the middle of the night and I am sneaking around like a seal with insomnia. 

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@Apathetic Echidna yay!  i'm 19 so I wasn't aware of the awesome music in the mid-2000s but I am now.  after pierce the veil, my favourites are panic! at the disco, fall out boy, my chemical romance, twenty one pilots, sleeping with sirens, bring me the horizon, all time low, and get scared.  my favourite song (from the same album as stay away from my friends--yes, my favourite album) is called Besitos.  I just love their lyrics, all the bands I mentioned, and of course the sound.

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I'm in my mid-twenties so I was perfectly aged for the emo movement, although I never looked emo or scene (I went to the public gathering at the 'emo park' in my city on the 6th June 2006 and was the only brunette!). I actually don't remember hearing about a band called Get Scared....

I am fairly indifferent to romance in songs -as in I tend to not hear it as about romantic love! But I will look over my collection again to see if there are specific non-romantic songs I can share with you. Otherwise some albums you might want to check out @aro_elise:

AFI: Decemberunderground, Sing the Sorrow                                      Choice song: https://genius.com/Afi-the-killing-lights-lyrics

Burning Brides: Anhedonia                                                                      Choice song: https://genius.com/Burning-brides-this-is-a-wave-lyrics

HIM: Screamworks:Love In Theory And Practice     < basically all about wanting love, but still a good listen

LostProphets: The Betrayed                                                                    Choice song: https://genius.com/Lostprophets-where-we-belong-lyrics

A Perfect Circle: Emotive     (This whole album is cover versions)   Choice song: https://genius.com/A-perfect-circle-passive-lyrics

The Rasmus: Dead Letters, Hide From The Sun                                   Choice song: https://genius.com/The-rasmus-in-the-shadows-lyrics or https://genius.com/The-rasmus-funeral-song-lyrics

The Used: Artwork, In Love and Death, Lies for the Liars                   Everything!

Escape The Fate: Dying Is Your Latest Fashion       < more screamo than emo

 

Actually 'Funeral Song' by The Rasmus could be seen from the point of an aro-spec trying to be romantic and being confused and trapped by a relationship. Well, the song is actually about an allo being confused and trapped in a relationship, so yeah?

If you pick up on romance in songs you will probably notice a lot more than me, but really the depression themes are much stronger than the love themes. Should stop, I had too much fun doing this when I should have been doing other work. You have probably heard some of these before, but if you even mildly like one song you never heard of before I will be happy. 

 

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I'll check them out.  I'm sure I'll like them better than most stuff.  I could talk about this all day, too.  And I definitely look like it; if you listened to my music and then saw me you'd probably laugh.  I'm trying to think of other songs I've managed to put an aro spin on.  Here are a couple: The Kids Aren't Alright by fall out boy (https://youtu.be/WR7U7_cKJw4) for the line 'and in the end / I'd do it all again / I think you're my best friend' and Casual Affair by panic! at the disco (https://youtu.be/zyx0W5UhJGM)--pretty self-explanatory. 

 

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Recently talking about the less nice aspects of romantic attraction and listening to The Used for the first time in a while I have decided that 'Earthquake' from the album Lies For The Liars is not about a the monopolising instinct, but rather about the relationship about a man and his cat after he gives the cat a bath. It actually works! ....sort of

She had an earthquake on her mind 

(violent plans to escape the bath)
I almost heard her cry out as I left her far behind (burying his emotions for cat so bath can happen without emotional blackmail of cat begging face)
And knew the world was crashing down around her (betrayal of trust with 'bath time')
I sink to the ocean floor (aka the wet bathroom floor)
Because I know that we are more
But I've made this mess (for enforcing bath time)
I built this fire 
Are you still mine? (can you forgive me or will you run off to the lady down the street who also feeds you?)
'Cause, baby, I'm not all right when you go (my cat is my only friend)
I'm not fine
Please be all mine (please stay pet cat)
I never want you to go because I am all yours (Cat, you are my only family)
So please be all mine (please stay pet cat)
She had an earthquake on her mind (violent plans to escape the bath)
Apparently, the kind that would bury us alive (epic bath battle)
By putting all this weight on us forever (broken trust)
I lie here on the ocean floor
Broken castle by the shore
And I made this mess (for enforcing bath time)
I built this fire
Are you still mine?  (can you forgive me or will you run off to the lady down the street who also feeds you?)
'Cause, baby, I'm not all right when you go (my cat is my only friend)
I'm not fine
Please be all mine (please stay pet cat)
I never want you to go because I am all yours (Cat, you are my only family)
So please be all mine (please stay pet cat)
Let me save us (can he make it up to cat?)
I've slaughtered us (broken trust)
I've murdered our love
I can taste it,
This blood in my mouth  (from epic bath battle)
This knife in my lungs (winded and/or scratches on chest)
Have I murdered our love?
Have I murdered our love?
'Cause, baby, I'm not all right when you go (my cat is my only friend)
I'm not fine
Please be all mine (please stay pet cat)
I never want you to go because I am all yours (Cat, you are my only family)
So please be all mine (please stay pet cat)
'Cause, baby, I'm not all right
Baby, I'm not all right when you go
Please be all mine
I never want you to go because I am all yours (Cat, you are my only family)
So please be all mine (please stay)

 

 

I guess my interpretation means that most of the time people, even aros, see things with a romantic framework. It is a break up song, but only in the context of the word 'love' being used in a romantic context. If you interpret 'love' as familial love it makes an awful lot of love songs and break up songs very creepy, or love for a pet makes the songs funny. The singers assume you will hear 'love' as romantic so generally don't make their intentions for the song more clear. Music is an art form so like other things it's meaning is interpretive. 

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  • 11 months later...
On 9/27/2017 at 2:13 PM, Ice Queen said:

Since this thread is about music, I want to share a song that I found. I can interpret it as an amazing metaphor about aromanticism and the fact that it is innate and we can't change and that people have to understand us and stop pressuring us into doing so. The chorus and the last part say it all...  That last line: "He could not take from the forest what was never meant to leave" 

 

 

 

@Ice Queen OMG I LOVE THIS SONG (celtic songs are just so good). I never viewed it as an aromantic song, though I can see where you're coming from. It makes a lot of sense. I can't believe I never noticed that theme. 

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