Jot-Aro Kujo

Panic attacks? That's concerning. Do you have a therapist? Have you seen anyone about an anxiety diagnosis?

Yeah this is 100% sexual harassment, homophobia, transphobia, and pedophilia. Bring it up right away to an adult you trust. Document these behaviors as much as possible, try to get recordings or to get writings from the offenders so you have hard evidence to back you up. This behavior is 100% NOT ok, I’m sorry they’re treating you this way and they need to face serious consequences for this. 

On 11/13/2023 at 2:05 PM, alto said:

I personally draw the line at lip kissing.  If lip kissing is involved, it's romantic.  If not, it's platonic.

What if it’s lip kissing in a sexual but non-romantic way?

None of us know anything about you nor the people around you, so I don't know how anyone is supposed to even hypothesize about it, let alone give a correct answer...

Yo. Always nice to meet another bi aro.

1 hour ago, hemogoblin said:

Would you mind talking about what it is to you a little bit more? Or linking to somewhere where you've done so in the past? o3o

Most of the original posts on the subject should still be on my blog: https://arotaro.tumblr.com/

In short, voidpunk is an aesthetic. It's not a kin type, it's not a gender or sexuality or anything like that- Certainly, one can incorporate it into their identity or vice versa, but ultimately that is not what it was intended to be. It's a way for people who face dehumanization (on a social/cultural level, as in being dehumanized by others) to speak out about it while having fun. It's not about "I feel that I'm xyz thing rather than a human", it's about "Oh, you think I'm not human because xyz? Fine, maybe I'm not. What will you do now?". It's about punk rock with cat ears and demon horns, you get what I mean?

I don't say any of this to disrespect therians or otherkin or anything else along those lines. Certainly, there's a lot of those in the voidpunk community, and I support them very much! It's just that... I mean, those are things that already exist. People keep trying to make voidpunk into essentially just otherkin with a lot of nebulous talking about "the void" (I don't even know what that means tbh! The 'void' in voidpunk was chosen because it sounds cool), when that's not what it's supposed to be. Of course the politics and the support for people who face dehumanization are a key part of voidpunk, but as an identity it's never been super serious and should not be treated as such. It's literally just about cheering yourself up by wearing cute ghost earrings, or whatever.

Sure. Speaking as the originator of voidpunk, people seem to have kind of forgotten what it is tbh...

Why are you asking? What if people say no? It’s your gender, you’re in charge of it. You don’t need to put your own identity up to a vote.

Like, did you have a specific question, or..?

What is it you want help with?

Why do you need to have a crush?

Why what?

THAT'S THE MIKU NUMBER YEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH

That's odd. Did she say what exactly it was that triggered her? Speaking as a bi aro myself, I don't think this is at all an issue of allos vs. aros vs. aces or what have you, it sounds like an issue of her personal boundaries and trauma. Unfortunate that this happened but I wouldn't overthink it.

30 minutes ago, Confusedd said:

I totally agree with you on the fact that there are so many other factors that women look for in a potential partner and it seems that I can get along with women pretty easily but yet no romance. 

my height was the only reason I could find which seems to be a reasonable answer to my question "if I am good with communication and flirting with women, why the hell am I alone?"

I just wanna know what I am doing wrong if I am doing something wrong after all. I wanna know whether my loneliness is related to my appereance or my behaviour or sth else.

I see. And, uh, are you aware of what type of website this is?

First of all I think you're on the wrong site friend 😅 Secondly... Your height? You think women choose potential partners based purely on height????? Did you eat something weird or what

2 hours ago, hemogoblin said:

I'm not sure how to say this more gently because I don't want to hurt anyone, but this sounds like dangerously biased thinking. It others aros who aren't or don't consider themselves intellectuals and implies allos can't be intellectuals. It's along the same lines of that ultra annoying acephobic line of thought that aces must be so ambitious and productive because they're not weighed down by sexual desire. What aros have in common is that we're aro.

Big agree with this.
 

Also, like… One could make the same argument that, say, people who are really into sports might be inclined to be aspec because they’re more interested in sports than romance and/or sex. But you never see that possibility pondered, do you?

I think this might just be a your parents thing. My parents never did that.

What is that?

1 hour ago, jesus dario said:

An arromantic person is one who experiences little or no romantic attraction to others, so it is impossible for them to fall in love, have a partner, and not feel the need to receive or give gifts romantically as an example: bouquets of flowers 💐 box of chocolates 🍫 and serenades.

This is not true. Maybe that’s your experience, but it’s not every aro’s experience. 

Just ask them?

Does it really matter? I mean, if you’re uncomfortable with romantic relationships, you’re uncomfortable with romantic relationships. Call yourself aro if you want, or don’t if you don’t want to, but the way you’re talking here you make it sound like you think you have two options: identify as aro, or pursue a romantic relationship. But like… You don’t have to do either of those things if you don’t want to. It’s fine to just not be in a romantic relationship. It’s also fine to identify how you wish and change your mind later if your feelings change. 
That being said, I don’t think it’s healthy for yourself nor fair to others to scrutinize people in search of signs of romance. 

In conclusion, just relax. Romance and your stance on it one way or the other isn’t the only thing that matters, and you don’t need to give yourself some sort of ultimatum over it. Focus on the things that make you happy, not putting yourself and others under a microscope all the time. 

No, like everyone said, this is not normal. Are you a woman who dresses strangely or hangs out with a lot of nerds? They might be Manic Pixie Dream Girl-ing you.

Honestly being 16 is just kinda like that, especially for folks who aren't cishet. I mean, at that age not only are you learning a whole bunch of new shit, but you're also developing physically a lot- Quite literally, you're changing, because your brain is growing and hormones are starting to do different shit and all that. So like, it's a lot to take in. Don't rush it. Taking the time to think about things is good, but don't make yourself think it's some sort of life or death thing where you have to decide how you identify and what you want and who you are RIGHT NOW. You've got all the time in the world, you'll probably start to feel more settled within the next few years.

I would definitely talk to someone about the panic attacks and hallucinations and such. Hallucinations in particular are NOT a normal part of growing up, so it's probably a good idea to have that looked into, especially if it happens again.

Just because the food is good and the atmosphere is nice doesn't mean someone's going to want to eat it if they're not hungry.