merlindfluorite

& that the aggressive 'pick-up' tactics are all part of some game where women secretly want to give it up & a man just has to convince them - which goes right back to the old-fashioned sexism talked about in this thread where a woman's worth was in her ability to marry, & she would be encouraged to string along as many eligible bachelors as possible to get a better deal out of the marriage. It seems to me that a lot of things that are considered 'romantic' these days are just leftover bits & pieces from the days when marriage was a business transaction. Plus all the places in the world where it very much still is. Hell I would get tax breaks if I got married.

I've only been here a couple of weeks myself & everyone has been great already - hope you enjoy it too!

I agree with @Pyr's comments completely. And I would also add, you absolutely can just come out to your friends if you feel like they'd be a source of strength for you, but you don't have to come out to everyone at once! I am really only out to my friends - I don't hide it but I never felt the need to even try to discuss it with my family & I'm not out to any of my work colleagues. No one is entitled to know everything about you & if you feel better and safer coming out to just a few friends until that changes then that is absolutely your own decision. Good luck!

I as an out & proud bisexual for a decade before I found out that aromanticism even existed, even after I left school & college, in my queer community, bars etc. people would always say yeah we're absolutely ace inclusive but unless you were questioning asexuality that was sort of it. I found aro through voidpunk, & it instantly made so much sense to me (& explained a fair amount of my relationship history as well) but it came with a bit of guilt, because for a while I felt like I was the stereotypical heartless bi that's seen so much in media. I'm glad for it now because it helps me be a lot more present in all my relationships, whether platonic or familial or romantic, because I can communicate better about what I can give to a potential partner or friend, & there are less messy breakups when someone inevitably expects more from me. I barely date at all now and I concentrate on building a family through friendships, & I'm happier than I've ever been. I really think everyone should learn about romantic orientation just like we learn about sexual orientation.

I saw a post online somewhere about labels, and how sometimes it's easier to think of them as a lighthouse, so you can find your way to your community and people who share experiences, rather than islands that all have strict rules. If you find something important to you in both labels then go for it!

Thank you both very much! Yes I think it's always a good thing to find a space where people understand what you're on about. It's so much easier to be just relax and enjou something! Great, glad it works! I'm not very well versed in discord but maybe I'll try it out at some point!

I saw it pinned in the Off Topic list, I don't know if the link is still active but I'm sure someone would be able to help! Lovely to meet you too 😁

I agree with @bat, I think that if you're not erasing or denigrating a character's canon identity then it is all in the eye of the beholder. In my experience, people that get angry over conflicting headcanons often do so because their headcanon is so important to their understanding and love of the character. And then, of course, some people like to look for reasons to be indignant on the internet & irl, & when you encounter them, I recommend a very liberal use of the block function on whatever site you're on. If someone said that to me irl? I would reply by saying that aspec is part of the queer community & how can it be homophobic to have a queer headcanon for a character? Don't let anyone try to gatekeep our own spaces, & never feel ashamed for seeing some small representation when we so rarely find it.

That is incredible, I love it! Such a clever design, & so much more convenient than a caravan. I love the paint job! I don't know what travelling this summer will be like, just as covid seems to be coming under control, the war in Ukraine seems to be escalating, it's hard to make any sort of plans. But like @roboticanary said, the ability to just pack up and go is useful, grab the opportunity to go somewhere when you can

Oh my actual stars, think I mentally repressed that. Incredible. What a masterpiece. Legendary. I need to watch it again. Immediately Oh yeah I'm with Nix on this one. Musicals were everywhere when I was a kid. And some quite disturbing ones as well - Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and Bedknobs and Broomsticks and stuff like, plus all the classic Disneys, some of it was a little cringy but it was just the norm.

He did go through a lot. Poor guy. You're right though it was good, it must be due for a new series soon? I just remembered as I was typing this out that they are making a new Dracula movie, but focused on Renfield - and Nicholas Cage is cast as Dracula. Just the most insane casting choice. I can't wait to see that.

Jealous af. I bet it was amazing. Will you go this year? I haven't had a holiday since before the pandemic and I swear I'm on travel sites every other day. Also I am fascinated by the minivan camper conversion - was it difficult? Caravan parks & camping grounds are usually pretty friendly in my experience. I always read reviews and all those safety tips. Travelling alone makes you very safety conscious I think. So many places claim to be accessible or disability friendly & then just fall down, I'm glad you've found a trustworthy service so you can travel. Getting everything organised and planned out can be so stressful, you end up needing double the holiday!

Definitely a solo traveller, but I'll go with a friend or two if I get the chance. I will say that I generally try to go by or rent a car, if I go far, because it feels a little safer when I'm on my own. Love a road trip. I definitely think there's a stigma to travelling alone though, plus the extra cost of paying for whole rooms etc. by yourself. The Aro Life Tax, as it were.

I didn't see any funky handmouths in the trailer, but perhaps they're keeping that a surprise? Jared hasn't had much luck picking film projects imo, apart from Requiem and Dallas Buyers Club. Yes absolutely! There is so much comedy in the idea of out of touch old vampires trying to keep up with the all the current fashions. Don't get me wrong I enjoyed Interview with the Vampire as much as the next person but it seems like it's been a while since a good dramatic vampire movie. I don't even know if you could make one after all the years of Twilight and Tru Blood etc. Who would take it seriously?

I'm gonna do it 🤣 On a different note, I just saw a trailer for Morbius. How does this thread feel about Jared Leto and vampires? I gotta say my fave vampire movie is What We Do in the Shadows, instant classic.

I do appreciate the slate of animated Disney/Pixar films that steer clear of romance - Encanto, Moana, Frozen (to a certain extent), Brave, Coco, I'm sure I'm forgetting some important ones. It's nice to not have it be all princes and princesses! I will need to watch that animated series then! Apart from the original and prequel trilogies I really have watched much SW content. I tried episode 7, which was fun-ish, but lost me on episode 8. A friend gave me a summary of ep9 and I have no interest in watching that at all. You know what, we should have a list of questionable romance movies and call it the 'Do You Suspect You Might Be Aromantic? Try These Movies & Find Out!" list 🤣

Thank you! I already feel pretty good about this place!

Absolutely yes. Incredible music score. Dual of the Fates is spine-tingling stuff for me, I love it. Also I had no idea that It's so difficult with romance in movies. There are some great ones that I can get onboard with, but then there are some that just come off as contrived hallmark nonsense. Brendan Fraser & Rachel Weiss in the Mummy? Epic. Beautiful. Wonderful. The Notebook? Toxic. Stop yelling. This can't be love. This can't be what you're encouraging me to 'give it a try' for? I feel like every script writer should just run their romance story by a non-averse aro person. Just to check. 🤣

I'll check it out, ballet is usually a good movie theme Flee is absolutely on my list. It's got so many nominations. It's hard for an animated doc to get so much attention so I'm looking forward to it. The Anakin & Padme romance was so badly done, it was such a jaw-dropping problem. They specifically set out to make Anakin a whiny teenager and then were shocked when the audience didn't get why the Most Competent Woman in the galaxy fell for him. There was so much excess they could have cut of those films to make time for more character development. I will say that I do remember watching the final fight scene in Ep 1 and I was on the edge of my seat. Ewan McGregor made a great Obi-Wan.

Thank so much1 We're all looking for a little peaceful island right?

In the Heat of the Night is a great classic, would definitely recommend that as one of those "everyone should watch at least once" movies. I haven't seen this yet but I've seen some reviews comparing it (unfavourably) to Black Swan? I did a rewatch of the Star Wars prequel trilogy recently (since the new Kenobi series is coming out soon). I remember when they came out they got so much hate, which was excessive, but they're not well-executed movies. Still very fun though, enjoyed the rewatch.

Hi all, happy to find this forum and sign myself up! I did a bit of lurking around and it seems like a lot of people are on the discord - I don't know if that's the right place for me so for now I'll just be drifting around threads on here. I'm a fan of dissecting film & tv, books (my genres are sci fi & fantasy. of course. are you surprised. look at my name), current events, and whatever niche community the youtube algorithm will drop me into without warning. It's chaos out there, be kind.