atrocious_ar0mantic

It seems like something that's typically romance-coded in society. But personally, I find my friends pretty cute. Like sometimes when they're just chillin', or laughin' even. And it's not in a romo way, but typically in an overwhelmingly platonic, adoring way.

One song I’m particularly invested in right now is “Clusterhug” by IDKHBTFM. The lyrics that resonate most with me are in this stanza- “Only if you'd like me to I could fall in love with you Only if you'd like me to Fall in love.” That really hit me because before I was familiar with aromanticism and aro-spec identities, I kept viewing romo attraction as something that I had to ‘work harder’ to feel. That somehow I could push myself, that if the right person came along, I could ‘invest’ into feeling it.

I think it’s variable depending on the participants, preference, and so on. I don’t use that term for my partner, but other people might.

"captain single here can't through stones-" why is that iconic

All the time. It implies a hierarchal structure with relationships, valuing romo ones as the highest, and platonic ones as the lowest. With platonic ones often being viewed as a stepping stone for romo ones, more often than not. And obviously completely excluding other types of relationships, ones that fall into gray areas or are another thing entirely (such as QPRs/QPPs)

Is it? I wasn't much of a ring wearer up until this point, so I never thought to think about it. That sounds lovely It never crossed my mind that the placement might look odd. Either or, we love that for you. I honestly quite like havin' an aro and an ace ring because it makes me feel ✨balanced ✨ One ring for each hand, and the opposite colors really did it for me.

Honestly. I hate it. Especially to people I'm out to, who still persist in their weird pestering of my nonexistent romo and sexual pursuits. The people who don't fully grapple that no, I'm not choosing to be anything. I'm not "saving" myself. I won't "grow into it". I'm not a late bloomer, I'm not immature, I'm not incompetent. It's not just a general disinterest, I'm not attracted to anyone like that. And I wish people would consider the possibility that even if my identity and label does change- which is valid, people are fluid - it shouldn't invalidate my feelings and experiences now. But most of the people who insist that it will change are people who are thinking wishfully. Who hope it will change. And I wish they could accept the idea that it might never, that I'm not inherently lacking anything as a person on the basis of this orientation and label. It's not the label in itself that's sad, what's sad is peoples' persistence that I can't be fulfilled or content as a person without experiencing those types of attraction, and pursuing those types of relationships.

Not so much a trinket, but I do have an ace ring and an aro ring I appreciate that point. And that quote from above, about how most aroaces began labeling with asexual (or a label on the asexual spectrum) first and foremost is really accurate. For me, I used to say that I "never knew where my asexuality ended and my romantic orientation began." My sexual orientation and romantic orientation always felt one in the same, even when I didn't consider that I could also be lacking in romo attraction. And now that I know that about myself, that I am aroace, I do tend to dip more into the aro aspect of my queer identity. And as you mentioned, really begin to realize truly how little aro representation and spaces there really is. I think part of it might be the general consensus that ace and ace-spec people who do experience romo attraction "redeem" themselves. That there's hope, that they're not a "lost cause", that they can "compensate".

I can't emphasize enough how informative and well-executed this was

“A Ok” has been my favorite so far, in terms of hearing other peoples’ experiences. On the other hand, if anybody knows of any fantasy / story podcasts with aro/ace characters I’d love recommendations.

Do any other aro-spec folks wear a white ring on their left middle finger as a subtle way of showing pride? Or as a way to flag down other aro folks?