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Lex Barringer

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  1. Well, I avoid women in general now because of my bad experiences. They're logic is, if I'm talking to them, I hitting on them and therefore want a piece of the action. Now, in regards to the guys I know, I just stay quiet if the romo comes up.
  2. I've been running into this a lot, while I can connect with people, I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop and know it's only a matter of time before the friendship sours because the other party (romantic women) want to take it to the next level and don't give a $h|t about my feelings on the matter, it's as if I don't matter and that I'm there to fulfill their f*cked up fantasies of romance is supposed to be like. They'll hound me for "playing games with their mind", even when I'm not, they're just seeing their own reflection in me. To me, it's really saddening that I can't find anyone either.
  3. Most therapists, psychologists, sociologists and psychiatrists are dealing with a doubly stacked deck. What I mean by that is, they only know and go by what the Diagnostic Statistical Manual (DSM) says on issues that pertain to anything that appears to be in relation to trust issues brought on by your attachment style and other attributes which will lead them to believe you're either; paranoid, suffering from PTSD (a form of psychosis), have Asperger's syndrome, land somewhere in the schizo spectrum (usually schizoid) or are a high functioning individual that has austism / austistic feature bu
  4. Oh, okay, I'm in agreement with that idea.
  5. I don't know if I should facepalm, cry, rage or laugh about the comment left from that idiot. If it was legal, a hell of a slap upside the head would be in order (perhaps knocking some sense into that person, in the process).
  6. No, actually, I don't think that. Although, I've encountered other aromantics on here that weren't aware of the aesthetic / physical attraction aspect. It's quite common for those of us who have strong over-driving aesthetic attraction to go for what we can't (supposedly) have; a celebrity for example. We have a drive for what we believe is perfection, however, when we actually get to know these people that attraction many times dies down or disappears. I've been involved with some celebrity women but I won't say who, it's not my bag to be name dropping. I'm glad you're well articu
  7. That's perfectly normal, Elise. As you've found out that you're Aromantic but you're for all intents and purpose hetero allosexual (normal bias / hetero-sexual, in other words). There are many orientations that define a person but there are three main ones; romantic, sexual and aesthetic. You know about the first two but probably not the third one. Aesthetic orientation and the associated attraction is the physical appearance of a said individual you're looking at currently. It's entirely possible to be turned on by someone but not have sexual nor romantic feelings for
  8. I've been aromantic, well using that word even before it was popularized. I knew what I was when I was 15 and now 42. I came out Aro a long time ago, perhaps that's the reason I don't see it as such a big deal. It did take me awhile to figure out I was hetero-demisexual, though, didn't know until I was 30, just knew there was something a bit off.
  9. About the ICD 10, there is a site to see how the ICD is currently organized, it's functionally configured. http://www.icd10data.com/ICD10CM/Codes/F01-F99 Those are for diagnostic codes themselves, the actual definitions are found elsewhere in the book. At least the book is set up for quick reference and not like a Microsoft software manual. (See this page, that page and if it doesn't work refer to this last page.)
  10. Sure, I see what you're getting at but most people don't go out of their way to say, "Oh, by the way, I'm aromantic", unless someone is hitting on them or making them feel uncomfortable in that certain way that alloromantics are so good at. I guess the easiest way to put this is, don't interject romanticism or aromanticism where it doesn't actually belong or attributable to a given project. Now, let's say there is an anthropological, psychological and sociological study of the various orientations and attractions, including but not limited to; aesthetic, romantic, and sexual; sure
  11. Searching for celebrities or other notable people that are of the aromantic orientation doesn't really seem like a worthy cause. To those who are celebrities and other notables, should they choose to talk about it, it's one thing but it's not at all about "representing", that's just garbage. Representing is just a boastful way to get in peoples' faces about our orientation, that doesn't actually help us, rather it creates more trouble for us down the line. I look at it as immaturity, in the same light and to the tune of Aromantic Pride parades. I don't feel the need to toot my horn
  12. Here's the thing why I stopped giving a crap about other peoples' feelings and wants because it was to my detriment, because it causes the endless cycle of internal abuse. 1. I was worrying about how I was going to be perceived. a. People were talking shit about me regardless on how and why I explained myself. 2. I was worrying about how I was going to cope, if I was still living a lie to fit in with the rest of the society. a. They too are still living a lie; society isn't made up of 100% alloromantic & allosexual people.
  13. Right, there are different styles and conditions within the aromantic orientation, easiest way to explain it is that aromanticism is a spectrum. Just as there is romantic repulsion, romantic adversion or romantic indifference, which has to do with the psychological attachments of a given individual, which I prefer to call a "style" or how you a approach a specific situation and how you deal with it. Type type of platonic relationships also have a style associated with it. You're into having a lot of different acquaintances that don't get that deep, which is fine. I'm fine with
  14. Sorry about that, I misconstrued what you were getting at. My apologies on the long winded response, too. Oh, I think I know who you're referring to. She was really sensitive and critical of men in general. I do believe she had many unarticulated reasons for what she was experiencing. In the private messages her nickname was, "ticking time-bomb". I still have my account on asexuality.org, are in the normal forums and AVEN sub-forums but I actually feel really out of place on that website. There is far too much sensitivity and hyper aggression to different orientations
  15. I've had chronic depression spanning many decades, I had it since I was eight, it never really went away until I really didn't "give a f***" about other peoples' feelings. Despite my training in psychology and psychiatry, it's a different animal when you're dealing with it on a personal basis and peoples' own comfirmation bias is unknown or if they do know about it, they're avoiding examination therein. What that all means is, that I grew tired of, "having to explain myself to others". I no longer do it, my chronic depression disappeared amount instantaneously. The causal link to my depre
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