Skittles87

Buy the tee-shirt! If nothing else, you could wear it as a pyjama top. And if you want to wear it in public, you totally should. I know how discouraging it can be when people say ignorant stuff, but awareness of "invisible orientations" is increasing, and people are learning and growing all the time. Whether or not you choose to come out, I hope your friends get their heads out of their bums. Best of luck!

Aha, this looks like the perfect thread to post this. It's a kickstarter-funded anthology of speculative short stories and poems, centered around aro characters and platonic relationships. If you're interested in submitting a short story or poem, here's a link to the submissions page. https://commonbondsantho.com/call-for-submissions/

Hell yes to this!

I do this - use my laptop for writing prose, and pen and paper for writing poetry. I find that poetry "flows" better when I write with a pen rather than typing.

This is without a doubt my fave thread on Arocalypse. Faith from Buffy the Vampire Slayer seems aro as hell to me, especially in Season 4. My reasoning (which is long-winded and complicated):- 1) When she wakes up from her coma, she's pissed at Buffy because in her eyes, Buffy screwed everything up for a guy (Angel) and now she's not even with him, but is dating some other guy (Riley). This is so relateable! It's annoying and difficult to understand when people sacrifice friendships and other important things for a romantic relationship, then break up with that person, then fall in love with someone else five minutes later. 2) When she has sex with Riley (in Buffy's body - it's complicated) she seems to be enjoying herself until Riley gets romantic, at which point she gets irritated and unsure. Afterwards, Riley says "I love you" and she freaks out and pushes him off her. Maybe this is supposed to be her thinking "Oh my gosh, perhaps I could be worthy of love and that's scary because I'm emotionally damaged!" but to me, it looks like that magical combination of romance repulsion and guilt because she's "using" him for sex. 3) More generally speaking, she just doesn't seem interested in romantic relationships. She kicks Xander out after sleeping with him, and there's this great scene where she's dancing with a bunch of guys and Buffy drags her away. She says "Call me!" but points at all of the guys instead of one of them, haha!

I would tell my ten-year-old self "Kid, you have it all figured out. You know exactly what you want - a best friend, a pet snake, and to be a writer. Hang onto that because people are going to spend the next 20 years trying to convince you to want different things."

Greedy pig

The perfect song for a sunny Saturday.

Absolutely. It was a very melancholy movie in a way - everyone seemed so isolated.

Generally speaking, I enjoy romances that are weird and unconventional. The movie "Her", for example, I found really moving. It's about a guy who falls in love with the operating system on his phone(!) My issue with the Romance genre is that it so easily lapses into cliche, or a predictable formula. Anything that can surprise me and make me feel things I didn't expect to feel is worth watching/reading.

Ooh, I have another one and it's an old classic. "Cactus Tree" by Joni Mitchell is a song about a free-spirited hippie woman who I like to think of as aro.

Is there a word for the opposite of shipping, i.e. when you really hope two characters won't get together? I find this happens with platonic male/female relationships that are complex, meaningful and touching (a good example would be Don and Peggy from Mad Men, Saga and Martin from The Bridge, or the Doctor with some of the companions from Doctor Who). I get paranoid that they'll hook up and ruin everything.

My favourite band, Drive-By Truckers, has a lot of fantastic songs that aren't anything to do with romance/sex. For example:- Outfit (about your son leaving home) Decoration Day (about feuding families) Used to Be a Cop (about a guy who used to be a cop, obvs) Margo and Harold (about your strange neighbours) The Living Bubba (about a guy facing his own mortality with a f*ck-you attitude)

I watched Ouran High School Host Club with my uni roommate and she kept commenting on how Haruhi reminded her of me. This was back when I thought "aromantic" was a word I'd invented.

Who Framed Roger Rabbit - Such a great film but Judge Doom scared the crap out of me.

I don't understand why romance is considered "girly", e.g. romantic books and movies are marketed pretty much exclusively at women.

My headcanon is that Haruhi's attraction to Tamaki is actually platonic. She feels a strong affection for him because he reminds her so much of her Dad. Their personalities are very similar (flamboyant, outgoing, fond of getting dressed up), and if I remember rightly, they are even played by the same voice actor.

That sounds lovely, good luck to you both.

Ravenclaw for life!

I tried having a boyfriend when I was 20. I didn't have any romantic feelings or even strong platonic feelings for the guy, so it was purely experimental. I didn't understand asexuality and had never heard of aromanticism so I figured I ought to try a relationship, and maybe the feelings I was supposed to have would develop (spoiler alert - they didn't). I had to call the whole thing off pretty quickly because he got too invested and I felt guilty. Also, I didn't like all the kissing and the feeling that my body wasn't entirely my own anymore. He was a nice guy and I regret hurting him, but I feel like I learnt a lot from the experience. The thing that surprised me most was how easy it all was. I'm only average-looking but it was so easy to get a date, easy to get kissed, easy to get someone to invest time and energy in me when I was letting him kiss me and touch my bum. Getting someone to care about you without dangling the possibility of sex and/or romance in front of them is so much more difficult - I've no idea how QPRs get started!

Since shotinthehand and I have somewhat derailed this thread with speculation about "fruitsexuals" and acorn metaphors... I just watched Captain America: The Winter Soldier (I know, I know, I'm way behind on Marvel movies) and now I headcanon Black Widow as aromantic. I love when she pretends to be engaged to Cap in the Apple store, it's like she's acting out a parody of romantic love.

Hi whole life, I suspect. It's probably a metaphor for something.

The Scrat shorts are too beautifully animated to make me sad! Though I suppose his acorn struggles are pretty epic.

I find him the most likeable, probably because he's a weasel (I like weasels) with the voice of Simon Pegg (I like Simon Pegg). Though I'm also a fan of Scrat because he reminds me of all the Tex Avery cartoons I used to watch as a kid.