Untamed Heart

Sometimes I feel like I'm some kind of feral human being, self isolating so much it's getting harder to be around most other people that long without getting restless, tired, agitated or bored and wanting to crawl back under my rock to recharge. And when anyone suggests the possibility of just not having met the right person, it feels like they're trying to lure me into some kind of trap, even though it's usually well meaning.

On the one hand, I can't deny it's possible, but on the other, I feel I may be too apathetic about socialising/the prospect of a potential (but unlikely) 'bolt from the blue' type romo to bother changing. It's not even a wholly realistic scenario either, as it is based on idealising another person, putting them on a pedestal until the hormonal fog wears off, but I'm not going to go out looking specifically and I'd be happier not to meet anyone who struck me that way. If real life were more like Disney, it might be different though.

I was fairly happy at first in my last relationship (once the initial depression lifted), but not exponentially happier than I was as a long term singleton.

Also I'm still weirdly nostalgic about being with him, though even after 3 months it felt horrible and almost as meaningless as previous relationships. I feel like I've been following him walking away from a distance, picking up the pieces of his broken heart and putting them in a box for preservation.