Untamed Heart

Just chewing over a thought I've had for a little while, and haven't seen addressed on any aro pages (but it probably has been at some point, and I admit this whole thing I'm typing is going to be generalised and probably sound completely stupid), that even though the result of being lithro or a so called 'commitment phobe' or person with commitment issues, can often be basically the same concerning romantic relationships, there seem to be important distinctions between the two types of people (though also, maybe some of them are liths and have no idea, and predictably end up getting that label. I've certainly wondered if I had commitment issues myself in the past).

From what I read up about (so called) commitment phobes, it seems they're more able to maintain their romantic feelings, maybe even for years, but not totally settle with one person. Maybe some (alloromantic) people just want to keep their options open, or it's some kind of uncertainty about the specific person, or people they've been with (not meeting the right people, but staying for at least a while, out of convenience or some other reason, but not being 100% happy with the situation).

I think the bottom line is, the crux of the issue for a person who doesn't want to commit likely isn't not being able to handle/disliking romantic reciprocation (I am aware some liths can in some circumstances too, but they might need more autonomy and space than an alloromantic person. Pretty sure I'm not one of them, though).