Georgi

Yesterday I've started Tarnished are the stars. It is both SF (forbidden tech, terraforming and moving humanity to another planet) and fantasy-medieval?? or I don't know how to call it... it has a queen, and kind of nobility. And it has an aroace man (he's still not aware, but questioning). And also other LGBTQIA+ characters. Until now, I like it a lot (but I'm just a quarter through it), as it has an interesting world building and also complex goals for each character, imo. Also, I don't know if you know about the Aroace database of Claudie Arsenault for more books? I find it quite impressive. I've also read The Midnight Bargain. Funny thing is that I knew there was supposed to be an aroace character in the book, but I didn't know which one in the beginning... so I assumed it was the main character. ?Then started wondering what the hell is she feeling towards that guy ;)))) Then decided to look on the internet and see what character is aroace and figured out it was not her ;))) Was a little bit disappointed, because I liked how in the beginning she was so fierceful against marriage and romance, and... then things happened ;))))

It's nice to hear this! Welcome! :)

This! I always recommend to my friends to "break up" (now I've started saying "do what is best for you" because I don't want to appear like me wanting them so badly to be single ?) and before I've never understood what is making these people going back and staying in the relationship after going through some continuous or frequent ugly situations...

Interesting, though some of the options are kind of weird. For 33% you are: You are probably asexual and aromantic. For 25% you are: You are most likely demisexual. For 17% you are: You are mostly aromantic. For 17% you are: You are most likely capable of having romantic relationships, but are asexual. For 8% you are: You most likely are NOT aromantic.

I think I may be somewhat romance-favorable? I am not really sure... actually this prevented me to take the aro label for a long while. To a great extent, I resemble to Georgia from Loveless (even the names are close ;))). While growing up, I loved romance in movies, tv shows and books, so I thought I wanted that too. However, there were no sign of stuff... and then at the of my bachelor's I've decided I should focus on some other aspects of life too... so I've decided I should look for someone, because I was feeling kind of old (22 years). Then I had a few close guy friends (mind you, I grew up in a place where heteronormativity and amatonormativity, for the matter, are dominant), and I thought I had crushes... but when thinking of having romantic relationships with them, something was off... I thought I have to ignore that feeling, as I thought it's just anxiety and I just have to step out of my comfort zone and finally be like everyone else and not a 'weird'... luckily nothing happened, and I was relieved when I've confessed my feelings to one and he said he doesn't like me more than as a friend (at that moment, I thought my feelings were romantic... later I've come to the realization that not really, as they were no different than I'd feel for my girl best friend* and I couldn't imagine what I was going to do if he said yes... in a way, I secretly desired for him to say no... what made me go and tell him that then? coding my feelings wrong, not having proper terms for them, and, of course, peer-pressure... all my friends were like ohh, if you feel so strongly for a guy, you must tell him and get into a romantic relationship and bla bla... also the guilt that I hadn't had any romantic relationship or interest until that age... yes, I was feeling strong for him, and the fact that I liked him was no lie, but not in a romantic way for sure, as I couldn't imagine doing romantic stuff with him...). So I've felt broken, because I was wondering why can't I find someone who likes me and that I like them back too (there were a few people that showed some interest outside of those close friendships - for many, the way they acted was coded as romantic interest too, but I guess it was amatonormativity - but I would keep them at distance, thinking that I just haven't find the right person). It took me a while to get over some internalized arophobia... and I do love hearing my friends talking about romance and also see it in movies and books (but when it's well constructed, not thrown there just for the sake of it)... but then, when I'm thinking of me in a romantic relationship, something feels off and I can't picture myself in one. And I don't know the reason, because I can form really strong and committed friendships. But lately I have decided to give more credit to that feeling and go for the aro label. And I've started to accept that even if I love romance for others, it's okay to not want it for myself. *I've also considered that maybe I am bi-grayromantic and polyamorous, but yeah, that seems really far-fetched. Aro seems much closer to what I feel.

I've found this on Facebook (from Lucifer, season 5, ep. 9)... however, I haven't watched this series so I'm not sure what's going on, but maybe it helps? Later edit: I'm not sure whether it refers to romantic love or love in general now that I think more of it ;)))

I love this series! However, it takes me sooo long to read the books ;))) I'm trying to read the books now before watching the last season (I've watched the fourth season before reading the fourth book and I hate that I know what is going to happen in a way... but in another way, I like there are some visible difference between the books and the series, so it's like spot the differences ;)))

Hmm, maybe this could be of help too? https://www.asexuality.org/en/topic/123256-asexuality-sexual-orientation-lexicon-read-me/?do=findComment&comment=1061345333

Just wanted to add they you can use any pronoun, she/her is not exclusively for cis women, and they them is not exclusively for non-binary people. Here is agreat video that talks about this: