I don't care because frankly I think people should have the right to privacy and do whatever. I don't ask about peoples relationships unless they actually so and that's how I think it should be.

Greetings other greyacearo individual.

I personally connect more to the loveloose label, but I still feel more solidarity with loveless/heartless aro than the rest of the general aro community as they're far, far less likely to call me a psychopath for not being platonically attracted to my friends every millisecond.

Welcome!

Been my PFP for a while, little guy.

Annd here's maybe version 2.0, amazing how things change. Idk I'm still questioning things.

When I'm sad: Boards of Canada, Alt-J, Lord Huron, Vashti Bunyan, Khruangbin

When I'm happy: ABBA, Fleetwood Mac, Doja Cat, Tame Impala, King Gizzard, A Tribe Called Quest

When I'm angry: Death Grips, JPEGMAFIA

Now that this thread has risen from its ashes, I can safely and confidentially say that I have since realised I am actually greyplatonic!

I am greysexual, greyromantic & now greyplatonic. Triple G!

Yes, both from allos and those who are 'fully' aro.

It's the reason why I rarely if ever say I have had crushes & dated people in the past (hell I'm currently dating someone right now for the past 5 years), say I'm attracted to fictional characters, or even like common romantic tropes - because both sides, as I've noticed, said that's either 'bad' or 'cringe' for no reason.

It's like they want to feel better about themselves by being the 'purest' aro possible, to try and suck up to other allos.

I like 'straight' romances and I'm still arospec. What you like doesn't have a basis on your orientation, and if anyone tells you otherwise, they're just a (gatekeeping) fool.

As much as I find anti-furry shit cringe, harassing a 12 year old to a bunch of strangers with a microscopic subscriber count isn't going to solve anything. We're not your personal army.

On 6/21/2023 at 9:16 PM, HelloThere said:

It really shouldn’t be that way. I mean I don’t understand it much, and I might ignore but no one should be considered “cringe” for liking romance. Romance disgust in general tends to take over on aro sites and just further continues the stereotype that you have to be romance disgusted to be aro. 

The romance negativity has escalated to a point of ableism: armchair diagnosing people with mental illnesses, comparing romantic attraction to a disease that must be cursed or accusing those are experience romantic attraction to be crazy or outright serial killers. Some aros have even laughed at certain minority groups (often disabled people) who are unable to get married or have marriage equality.

As a mentally disabled person, it makes me feel inferior being in aro spaces. And whenever I call this out people just excuse it as "Well they're just venting, it's your fault you got offended!" as if to imply that ableism within a niche community isn't something worth talking about.

On 3/31/2023 at 2:59 PM, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

Scary how many people here I'm seeing say, like, "porn", or "queer something-or-other". That's not a guilty pleasure! That's a perfectly normal, healthy thing to be interested in- Which isn't me saying that everyone is into that, obviously, but like, there's nothing wrong with having an interest in sex or romance or what have you. Yes, even if you're ace and only looking at it out of curiousity (although in that case, I would strongly advise you to take a moment to think about why you're describing other people's emotions and interests as something weird and bad. That's not very nice). Why does that have to be a "guilty pleasure"? Why is sexuality and queerness something negative and shameful to you, instead of something you can unabashedly take part in?

I'm not saying this to accuse people of anything, for what it's worth. I'm saying it to try to open people up to internalized homophobia and sex negativity. Why do you feel that being into these things is something negative? Who is telling you such, and why? Is it actually something bad? What message are you sending to others when you describe these things in this way? Ask yourselves these questions.

Anyway, my guilty pleasure is the live action Monster High movie lol

It's because some people in the aro/ace community still hold onto their perception of "cringe culture", anytime I spoke up about liking "weird" romantic/sexual things, i'd be called "cringy" for enjoying it. So I've kept quiet to avoid "looking like an allo" for enjoying such things. I know they're not inherently "gulity" as even I agree that contributes to negativity, but it feels so hard to enjoy without that voice in your head being like "don't you know this is cringe and the aros/aces will hate you for it"

Like it's literally the reason why I never say I have an s/o in aro spaces because now even having a romantic partner is "cringe" in some aro circles.

Welcome! I see you're into astrology stuff too, I'm a virgo sun, libra moon and aquarius rising :)

Any intellectually disabled aros here? I made a thread specific for us too :)

This might be a long shot, but with a decent amount of autistics & adhds-ers on the aro spec, I'd figure there are at least some aros with intellectual disabilities of all kinds such as myself, so feel free to post :)

• Verosika, Blitzo, Asmodeus and Stolas from Hellova Boss are all aroallo (Blitzo is grey, Verosika & Asmodeus are just aro, and I read somewhere that Viv herself confirmed Stolas as demi, but I don't have a proper source to back up that statement)
• Mirabel is aroace and Isabela is an aro lesbian (Encanto)
• Kris & Roulxs are aroace, Jevil & Spamton are aroallo (Jevil is pan aro, Spamton is pan demiro)(Deltarune)
• Jotaro is demiro, Diego is greyro (JJBA Part 3 & 7)

On 2/25/2023 at 9:04 AM, hemogoblin said:

Mini-poll: what are my fellow aplatonic folks views on pets?

I like animals, but I can live without them too, it's similar to how I feel about humans in general. Parrots are my favourite, though they require a lot of attention and care, and I cannot really keep up with that currently. I also love cats, so I may adopt one.

3 minutes ago, Harvest said:

Don't let jerks like this get you down, the people in that subreddit are a minority. Case in point, most people in this thread aren't siding with the OP.

If this place were a safe space, then surely they'd at least be banned for gatekeeping if they've being doing it constantly.

7 hours ago, TripleA said:

a forum for aromantics (people who experience 0 romantic attraction) who dislikes being put with people who aren't aromantic (alloromantic or "arospec"), relatives/friends/partners of actual aromantics and those questioning if they're aromantic and want to discuss specifically having no romantic attraction and no desire for a romantic relationship as a result of the absence of attraction.

https://www.reddit.com/r/actuallyaromantic/

ANNND trash like this is no longer why I feel comfortable being in aro spaces anymore, good to know you think me using the greyaro label is the worst thing to exist. But if you did succeed in my attempt to never head to online aro spaces again, congrats, you've done it.

Hello! What's up?

hello

I refuse to tell my name on the internet, so just call me Iron. My gender is librafeminine and my pronouns are she/they/it/avi, pick one to stick with or use them interchangeably idc. I am greysexual & greyromantic, I'd also describe my attraction as pan- in nature in that time when I do experience it, adding I do have a small preference to masc people and use the NBLM term to describe it. I am aplatonic, which is very important to my identity. I am panaesthestic & pansenual, but very touch-ambivalent.

The Book of Mormon. Haven't really seen many besides the recent Charlie & the Chocolate Factory production.

2 hours ago, MulticulturalFarmer said:

Well, I'd like to talk about the intersection of being intersex and aromantic, I mean, there's trans people on here who talk about the intersection of the two, but it's not the same as all intersex people aren't trans (some people consensually get on hormones and surgeries, and I say consensually as there's a history of nonconsensual surgeries on intersex infants). I haven't seen much discourse/dialogue on it, but I know that discrimination is still rampant against us in LGBTQ+ spaces in general, so that could be a part of it. 

I'd love to see more discussion on the intersex community in general, I know not every intersex person considers themselves LGBT+/Queer, but in my country they were always considered part of the community as they were the ones that build the foundation for trans people in my country.

4 hours ago, nonmerci said:

Yeah you are probably right. I just saw a topic about it in another aro place, and it just seems to me that some people don't get that mocking another group of people is not a healthy or respectful way to deal with amatonormativity. It is easy to become antiromance when you've been hurt by it, but it is not the way to go. I think for some it goes away when they mature and take confidence, but not everyone sadly.

I've seen people in the community think that disabled people being unable to get married is "funny", like idc what you think of the concept of marriage is as a whole but I'd rather have 1 million disabled people get married right now and not lose their benefits then anyone lose their right to get married. I don't like the idea of marriage for myself despite also being disabled and partnered but I'm going to fight like hell for my disabled comrads who have been fighting for it for decades.