Lovebird

The myth that aros don't, want to, date is quite persistent.

I blame both allo and aro communities because they've started this idea that 'aro = no romance' like yes, we may not be able to experience attraction but that doesn't stop us from wanting or liking romantic coded things. I've seen way too many aros ask why an arospec would want to date or like dating, like why do you care so much??  

Most social issues can't just be simplified into "x bad, y good", anyway.

Tell that to r/aromantic where they bitch & moan about allos- every. freaking. day. 

I'm not here as an aro person in aro safe spaces, to bully allos for existing. I am here to discuss how being greyromantic affects me in an allo world. I want to live in a world where we all live in peace, none of this "I'm better than you" bullshit.

What bought this on was a cringy virgin vs chad meme. The virgin (allo) was portayed as a stricty monogamous (polyamourous allos didn't exist to OP apparently), deals with breakups (allos apparently haven't had to deal with friendship breakups), no flag (the allosexual flag is a thing, but it's super uncommon & not even other allos use it so i'm giving a pass on OP for this one), always prioritises romance (stereotyping allos as hypersexual/romantic... totally not repackaged homophobia). The chad (aro) was no monogamy (polyamourous aros do exist lol), cool flag (based tho), no breakups (not like aros have had to leave toxic QPRs or anything), understands the 'value of friendship' (aplatonic is a thing~) and of course forgetting greyros & demiros exist episode 4674.

Someone actually did call OP out for the meme, calling it exclusionary and such. But everyone just kept saying "it's just a meme!"          

lol I totally understand the feeling though. I've only come out to myself recently so I've struggled with identifying with the LGBTQIA+ label since I'm essentially cishet, not to mention how the broader community doesn't fully acknowledge aromantics (and asexuals) quite yet. However, I have met a lot of allies within the community who are open-minded and welcoming, and don't treat me as lesser even if they don't understand everything yet. tl;dr you aren't lesser and don't let other people tell you otherwise

For me it's more like the general LGBTi+ community leaves me out bc I'm a enby femme romance-favourable greyromantic with a preference for men, like I look cishet to literally everyone else so 

For me, I believe there's no one right way of "looking" queer. Obviously there is some degree of privilege for people like us who may pass as cishet that we need to acknowledge. At the end of the day, though, that doesn't make us less valid to be queer. From my understanding, everyone can have different experiences, even ones that don't fit into more "traditional" narratives. Just because they're different, doesn't mean any one experience is less valid. To be honest I've only been out to myself for less than a year so my thoughts might not be that well formed, but hey it's always nice to talk about things. :D

I can understand what you say for some reason I feel the same way about non romantic songs. Well there is some exceptions but only a few. Myself I love the Backstreet boys that only sing about love, can't help it just love AJ MCLEAN's voice, I am enjoying listening to their songs even if I don't relate to these feelings. (I know it is an old boysband but I am 38 and grew up with them. Bruno Mars' music is cool too  

As a person who listens to Asian pop boy bands, I understand completely lol 

Glad to know  I am not the only one!! I love this forum it so great to talk to people like me, who lives the same things and feel the same way.?

Why not under "Aromantic Discussion"? Bet a lot of people would love to join in!

Maybe. I'm just not the kinda person to vent in the open, but this has been a thing that's been chewing me up for a while and I've broken down a few times over it. But idk if people will care or have proper answers.