Anything_but_allo

Regarding "sad as an aro"...
I currently need to take care of old wounds. I met new people in my life, people I get along with great but I still need to think about the friendships I had which are now shattered to pieces.
I feel especially upset about two people, a guy and a girl. Both of them led me down though I don't want to picture myself as "perfect friend". I am not flawless and I can behave like an ass. But I still feel so betrayed and misunderstood.
For the girl, her relationship to her lover was way more important than me - though I knew her for years and stood by her side through thick and thin, through every heartbreak, through her depression and everything.
For the dude, even though we knew much about each other and had a few years together, he was damn selfish and his satisfaction of needs was the most important thing. Not me nor his own gf. He wasn't interested in me, I was only a tool.
Seriously guys, I don't fall in love but I feel like my love is scattered all over my friendships. New and old, bad and good. The memories hurt like hell at the moment, especially the memories of the girl. I probably behave like a drama king but I need to get this out because a) here are most likely people who understand me and b) I felt so numb the last weeks. Maybe this is one cause.
It hurts so much when you like/platonically love someone and they seem to don't give a fuck about you after all.
I have empathy and can understand many things, regarding human emotions. I understand when a friend falls in love and they want to spend much time with their lover. But there are boundaries, e.g. when I get abandoned after months and they never call me or if they do, they only want to talk about their relationship all the time.
At the same time I'm mad at the separation of lovers/friends. It causes so much grief and anger inside of me, at this very moment. Our society is so strange. And I feel so cold, lonely and separate from so many people.
I don't mind being alone but feeling a permanent gap between you and others because of amatonormativity is just...so...devastating. For me. I hate being so emotional. And they say aros don't have feelings or don't love anyone. Hahahaha...good one. I always hated my sensitivity (yeah I know, so much about self-love).
I empty my glass of whiskey and sign off, I'm sorry for this mess. Kind of.
At least I finally feel something right now and not only emptiness. If anyone can relate: you're welcome!

Regarding "sad as an aro"...
I currently need to take care of old wounds. I met new people in my life, people I get along with great but I still need to think about the friendships I had which are now shattered to pieces.
I feel especially upset about two people, a guy and a girl. Both of them led me down though I don't want to picture myself as "perfect friend". I am not flawless and I can behave like an ass. But I still feel so betrayed and misunderstood.
For the girl, her relationship to her lover was way more important than me - though I knew her for years and stood by her side through thick and thin, through every heartbreak, through her depression and everything.
For the dude, even though we knew much about each other and had a few years together, he was damn selfish and his satisfaction of needs was the most important thing. Not me nor his own gf. He wasn't interested in me, I was only a tool.
Seriously guys, I don't fall in love but I feel like my love is scattered all over my friendships. New and old, bad and good. The memories hurt like hell at the moment, especially the memories of the girl. I probably behave like a drama king but I need to get this out because a) here are most likely people who understand me and b) I felt so numb the last weeks. Maybe this is one cause.
It hurts so much when you like/platonically love someone and they seem to don't give a fuck about you after all.
I have empathy and can understand many things, regarding human emotions. I understand when a friend falls in love and they want to spend much time with their lover. But there are boundaries, e.g. when I get abandoned after months and they never call me or if they do, they only want to talk about their relationship all the time.
At the same time I'm mad at the separation of lovers/friends. It causes so much grief and anger inside of me, at this very moment. Our society is so strange. And I feel so cold, lonely and separate from so many people.
I don't mind being alone but feeling a permanent gap between you and others because of amatonormativity is just...so...devastating. For me. I hate being so emotional. And they say aros don't have feelings or don't love anyone. Hahahaha...good one. I always hated my sensitivity (yeah I know, so much about self-love).
I empty my glass of whiskey and sign off, I'm sorry for this mess. Kind of.
At least I finally feel something right now and not only emptiness. If anyone can relate: you're welcome!

My school's library just put up a valentine's day display. I was really surprised (in a good way!) by what was on it.

It was talking about the different kinds of loves, and how romantic love is not the only one! I was so excited to see it acknowledge this, instead of continuing to push an amatonormative message.

i might be going to a seminar on platonic affection and love languages!  i just saw it on fb.  in the description they didn't mention aromanticism but they did mention amatonormativity; it sounds cool.

So I basically described feeling aromantic to my mom but didn't tell her I'm aromantic. I was like I wouldn't mind dating but I don't feel a need to I'm okay without dating and she was like yeah that makes sense but knowing her if I said I'm aromantic she would just tell me I have to wait for the right person and that I'm still young so it was an odd situation

Listening to breakup songs makes me happy.

I managed to get my Discord back up, but my nail polishes are ruined because of how hot it's been where I live lately.

I'm not sure if I can continue claiming to be apathetic any more. I keep finding things making me angry and I am having to work at being easy going. Of course I'm not getting angry at the big stuff like rape culture and global warming, I'm getting angry at stupid questions people ask me and amatonormative comments in media from the 1990s. 

I'm not sure if I can continue claiming to be apathetic any more. I keep finding things making me angry and I am having to work at being easy going. Of course I'm not getting angry at the big stuff like rape culture and global warming, I'm getting angry at stupid questions people ask me and amatonormative comments in media from the 1990s. 

I’m pretty sure all my close friends and family here at home think I’m either gay or ‘independent’. Lol. I don’t consider myself gay at all. Queer definitely. Most definitely. But not gay. Because gay means I’m interested in a relationship and/or sex with someone, and I’m not. However, if I come out as aroace and explain what this is, they’re gonna think I’m fine being alone. It’s not really a big deal, coming out to them. I’m more concerned about expressing my interests and finding hardly any non-romantic stuff in fandoms ;-; 

I’ve noticed that the color green seems really appealing to me now lol. I wonder if it’s a subconscious thing because I’ve finally accepted my aro-ness. 

Happy to see everyone is back on. :)))

Well... my Discord updated itself to a version I literally cannot use at all and I'd have to start from scratch if I used an online account so my presence on Arocalypse is dead. Yaaaay.

Well... my Discord updated itself to a version I literally cannot use at all and I'd have to start from scratch if I used an online account so my presence on Arocalypse is dead. Yaaaay.