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BuffOreo's Achievements


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  1. I like to use "committed companion(ship)" or "counterpart extraordinaire"
  2. I banter alot when talking to others (this includes a lot of (friendly) teasing and joking) but people have taken it as flirting all the time. A friend and I were "shipped together" by our mutual friend due to our banter and teasing relationship and it was extremely annoying. I have also found people sometimes take my concern and caring-ness as flirting but I'm just trying to be a basic decent human being. So I sympathize with having to hold back with some of my interactions with others.
  3. I don’t know if this is a question or a ramble with a question inside of it or just a vent of confusion. I consider myself aromantic and don’t have an urge for a romantic relationship (but wouldn’t mind a long-term companionship). And I was wondering if any other aros had this similar experience. I have (had) love and strong affections for two individuals in my life, which has (had) made me question my aromantic ID. One of those individuals I am no longer in contact with (nothing negative happened, just lost contact) and the other one I still am in constant contact with. However, it wasn’t (isn’t) romantic love, but this seriously overwhelming affection that I wanted these people in my life and I wanted to be a part of theirs. The flushing, the heart palpitations, the burst of happiness, the whole shebang, it’s an affection rush hour. The first individual was at a time where I had no idea of aromanticism so I assumed it was a crush (but I did not want to do any romantic-coded actions with this person) and I could only view us in a heteronormative lens. However, in hindsight I know it is not romantic love but I still have these tidal waves of strong affection from time to time [ even though I have not seen this person in almost 7 years] and know if I saw this person again I would have the same emotions. The second individual was when I knew I was aromantic and getting to know this person made me question myself a lot and began to ID as aroflux at the time (which did accurately reflect my feelings for that time period, and I am in no way saying anything against aroflux as an ID, it is a very valid ID). This person is a long distance away from me so I typically feel these bouts of emotions when we text. However, we met in person again and I was able to confirm I do not feel any romantic feelings towards this person and prefer our awesome friendship to anything else. I think the main thing is while I feel these intense waves of affection, I am most comfortable, content, and happy on my own and with my independence. So when I think of these two people it's more like wow I feel love for them but not like I am in love with them. Friendship is highly prized to me and I do not take it lightly so the line between what others think is romantic vs platonic is often blurred to me. So my question, I guess, is: Are there other aros out there that have this overwhelming love and affection for other people that isn’t romantic? I would appreciate any experiences/insight you all have.
  4. It typically depends on how well I know the person and what my relationship to them is. Like, in general I'm fine with hugs from friends, select strangers/acquaintances, and some family but some people I would prefer to never ever hug. When it comes to kissing - I only like cheek and forehead kisses and again not with/from everyone, I am typically very repulsed by most kissing. Cuddling is a specific friends only option and even then sometimes I am too touch adverse to handle it. But sometimes I feel an overwhelming bout of platonic affection and act outside of these general guidelines.
  5. I learned about aromanticism while working on a persuasive research paper on gender neutral pronouns in 2016. I had to educate myself a lot about the lgbt+ community for this paper, so I ran across many, many identities. I think that is why I didn't immediately consider identifying as aro (I had known I was queer for a long time by now, but no specifics) until 2017 since I was overwhelmed with learning so many new terms. It was only recently that I have completely come to terms and fully accepted my aro identity. I'm currently in my 20s but I still feel much more of an outsider since there are not many people that know/understand/can talk of aromanticism.
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