I don’t know if this is a question or a ramble with a question inside of it or just a vent of confusion. I consider myself aromantic and don’t have an urge for a romantic relationship (but wouldn’t mind a long-term companionship). And I was wondering if any other aros had this similar experience.
I have (had) love and strong affections for two individuals in my life, which has (had) made me question my aromantic ID. One of those individuals I am no longer in contact with (nothing negative happened, just lost contact) and the other one I still am in constant contact with.
However, it wasn’t (isn’t) romantic love, but this seriously overwhelming affection that I wanted these people in my life and I wanted to be a part of theirs. The flushing, the heart palpitations, the burst of happiness, the whole shebang, it’s an affection rush hour.
The first individual was at a time where I had no idea of aromanticism so I assumed it was a crush (but I did not want to do any romantic-coded actions with this person) and I could only view us in a heteronormative lens. However, in hindsight I know it is not romantic love but I still have these tidal waves of strong affection from time to time [ even though I have not seen this person in almost 7 years] and know if I saw this person again I would have the same emotions.
The second individual was when I knew I was aromantic and getting to know this person made me question myself a lot and began to ID as aroflux at the time (which did accurately reflect my feelings for that time period, and I am in no way saying anything against aroflux as an ID, it is a very valid ID). This person is a long distance away from me so I typically feel these bouts of emotions when we text. However, we met in person again and I was able to confirm I do not feel any romantic feelings towards this person and prefer our awesome friendship to anything else.
I think the main thing is while I feel these intense waves of affection, I am most comfortable, content, and happy on my own and with my independence. So when I think of these two people it's more like wow I feel love for them but not like I am in love with them. Friendship is highly prized to me and I do not take it lightly so the line between what others think is romantic vs platonic is often blurred to me.
So my question, I guess, is: Are there other aros out there that have this overwhelming love and affection for other people that isn’t romantic?
I would appreciate any experiences/insight you all have.