Jump to content

Anyone wanna be friends? Or possibly qpp's?

Recommended Posts

I recently realised i'm aromantic, and it has put a bit of a struggle on my friendships. I mean, things are significantly easier because now there's no worry that people will assume i have a crush on them or anything, but there's a different kind of problem now.

All of my friends are alloromantic. Which makes it really difficult for me to relate to them and also to get close to them. I've told some friends about how i still want a strong emotional closeness to my friends and they all understand, but i can tell that they don't understand it the way i do because of the fact i'm aro and they're not.

I made a new friend recently and i love her to pieces. She means so much to me and i've told her as such and she's told me the same. I met her around the same time i realised i was aro so i was able to let myself just feel the platonic love i have for her and not confuse it for anything else. She has a crush on one of our other friends, and the feelings are mutual. Which is great, don't get me wrong!! I'm happy that she's found this person. But i've started to notice that i've sort of moved down on her hypothetical priority list. Whenever i hang out with her, she's always texting her crush. When we're both hanging out with friends and her crush is there, the two always end up just talking to each other, or leaving the room to hang out just them two.

Like i said, i'm happy for her, and i'm not about to say that she shouldn't be spending time with her crush or anything, but it's all just made me feel so isolated and detached from her. i understand that she'd want to spend more time with this person because there's a mutual romantic connection there, but in complete honesty i sometimes find myself wishing she never had a crush on this person in the first place. i'm not expecting her to pay attention to me and only me all the time, but she is very clearly prioritising her relationship over me.

And it's not just her, really. My other friends are always talking about romance in some way or another. One of them recently got her heart broken and has been ranting abt that all the time. Other friends are talking about how they wish they had a bf/gf/partner. Because i'm the only aromantic person in my friend group, i have to hear about this stuff every single day. I love and support my friends, and i love hearing them talk about their lives and i want them to feel comfortable enough with me to know that they can talk about anything, but it's sometimes just far too difficult for me to hear abt it. I can't relate to/bond with any of them on this stuff, but it's pretty much the only thing they talk about. And it honestly makes me feel like they don't love me as much as i love them, because when it comes to it their priorities are romance and then friends (or sometimes romance, family, then friends), which means they're gonna focus more on that stuff than on having a friendship with me.

Anyways, the point of this vent is that i really need some aromantic friends. Some that understand me on this, some that i can bond with over being aromantic in any way, some that i can unapologetically love and get the same love back. If any of this resonates with you, or you want to reach out a helping hand, please do. Comment, message me, anything! Even if we live on different parts of the world, i would love to become your friend!

I have also been reading about qpr's and am quite interested in one! Ofc if you're not but still wanna get to know me that's fine! I won't immediately throw it at you. But if you're also interested, please let me know so we can talk abt that as well! :)

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

You seem like such a genuinely awesome person after reading your “about me” we have tons in common! I’d love to be your friend and get to know you more :] oh, and I haven’t shared much on here about myself on here, but I do on trevorspace! My @ on there is also Señor0nion (0nion with a zero, not an “oh” at the start)

Edited by Arrow
Link to comment
Share on other sites

PM me for my Discord.  I'm over 18, so I might not be a great candidate for a QPR, but I wouldn't mind being friends.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Create New...