DreamSeeker Posted December 2, 2023 Share Posted December 2, 2023 Hi! Before I knew I was aroace, I used to assume that I would just eventually have a romantic relationship, but now that I think about it I’m not really sure if that’s what I want. None of the physical aspects of a romantic relationship I would actually like to do, except for like cuddling and that’s just for the emotional security. So I’m currently trying to figure out if like I would actually want that or if a QPR or something else would be a better fit. I think the main things I would want out of a relationship are cuddling, someone who I can hang out with a lot and talk to about anything (I want a strong emotional bond), try and experience new things with, exclusivity, and maybe eventually live with. I also am, for some reason, oriented towards the opposite gender (I’m not sure whether it’s societal or if it’s just because most of my friends are female and that would help with distinguishing feelings easier) when I think about who I would want a relationship with. Thank you to whoever read all that. I’m hoping you all can make more of that than I can lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Froggodraws Posted December 14, 2023 Share Posted December 14, 2023 Honestly.. I can relate to this post a lot. I don’t really know if I want a QPR, and I only learned I was actually aromantic a few months ago. I’ve been in relationships before and… that obviously didn’t work out. I think I just want someone to cuddle with and give small kisses to. Not really.. romance stuff. I want a best friend that likes to be affectionate, I guess? I don’t know if that counts as a QPR or not though 😭😭😭. Anyway, I really wish I had the answer to your questions. But I just wanted to let you know that you aren’t alone :,). 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hemogoblin Posted December 14, 2023 Share Posted December 14, 2023 It's great that you have an idea of WHAT you want. That's going to be far more useful to you than a label. As for queerplatonic relationships - they are deliberately vague. That's the "queer" part of the label: they are not one thing in particular. They are a queering of society's general, narrow views on relationship binaries. They are what you want them to be. They are neither really platonic nor really romantic. Defining it beyond that is up to you. So, it does sound like qrp would be useful terminology for you. :) 6 hours ago, Froggodraws said: I don’t know if that counts as a QPR or not though Do you want to call it queerplatonic? If yes, then it counts as queerplatonic. Labels aren't like scientific classifications (though we could totally go off on how nothing in nature is simply defined or falls neatly into organized categories!). You get to pick and choose them for your sake of ease. It's totally up to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holmbo Posted December 14, 2023 Share Posted December 14, 2023 What activities would you want to be exclusive in your relationship? Because usually exclusivity is connected to sex in my experience. Would you not want your partner to cuddle with anyone else? Or are there some topics of conversation you feel should be exclusive to your relationship. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DreamSeeker Posted December 24, 2023 Author Share Posted December 24, 2023 On 12/14/2023 at 8:40 AM, Holmbo said: What activities would you want to be exclusive in your relationship? Because usually exclusivity is connected to sex in my experience. Would you not want your partner to cuddle with anyone else? Or are there some topics of conversation you feel should be exclusive to your relationship. I didn’t mean elements of the relationship I want to be exclusive, but the whole relationship itself. I guess by exclusive I just want us to be committed to each other and not seeing anyone else the same way as we see each other. Hope that makes sense. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holmbo Posted December 25, 2023 Share Posted December 25, 2023 (edited) 16 hours ago, DreamSeeker said: I didn’t mean elements of the relationship I want to be exclusive, but the whole relationship itself. I guess by exclusive I just want us to be committed to each other and not seeing anyone else the same way as we see each other. Hope that makes sense. But usually when someone says they want their relationship to exclusive they are referring to certain aspects. For example a couple might be sexually monogamous and so be exclusive about sexual aspects of their relationship. That couple might additionally have agreement of always doing their vacation traveling together and so be exclusive as traveling companions. Presumably you still want you and your potential partner to have other relationship such as friendship and so they'll be having deep talks or experiencing new things with others as well. So what aspects does "seeing someone" entail? Edited December 25, 2023 by Holmbo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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