Am I greyro, just confused, or something else?

[Guest Elle]

I’ve always desired a romantic relationship, but it’s always been hard figuring out if I like someone. Usually it goes from me just meeting someone and then asking myself: “do I like them?”, and being unsure, answering the question with easier questions like: “would I kiss them? Would I hold their hand? Would I make out with them?” Etc. I really do want to have a girlfriend someday, but when I meet someone, I never get a gut feeling of butterflies or love, the most I would get is a “wow she’s really pretty!!” And feel a little giddy. Other than that, nothing. I have only developed crushes after getting to know someone, and usually it’s hard to tell whether it’s queerplatonic or romance! All I know is that I want a relationship, but I never seem to understand if I TRULY like someone. It’s never a clear difference for me and I usually end up falling for a friend who I want to be even closer to, but more than just platonically or even queer-platonically, I want to be someone’s girlfriend! I want to kiss them and fawn over them or maybe even more. It’s like when I want to be with someone, my brain forgets the difference between relationships and friendships and I can’t seem to understand it. I thought all this blurred lines stuff might be categorized as somewhere on the greyromantic spectrum because I’ve heard people who identify this way sometimes say similar things, but I still wonder if this is really an identity or will I just always be confused? I’m not asexual, but when it comes to romance, it gets a bit difficult. Does anyone have any tips or general advice? Anything would be appreciated!!! :)

[Collie]

Could be Quoiromantic

https://rainbowpedia.fandom.com/wiki/Quoiromantic

[hemogoblin]

What do you mean "is it actually an identity"? People identify with it. That makes it an identity. 

Here's what matters to your question:

- Does grayro make sense to you?

- Is grayro a helpful term to you?

- Do you want to or feel more comfortable identifying as grayro?

Grayro is the specific umbrella term for aromantic spectrum. It's a term beyond just arospec to denote you don't relate to the stereotypical alloro experience but feel you (maybe) experience some amount of romantic attraction at some amount of time. :)

PIcking a label doesn't mean you're not ever gonna be confused about things. It means that word is a useful one to you to communicating some sort of simplified version of your feelings on some way. 

Edited November 23, 2023 by hemogoblin

[CoolK]

I use the microlable idemromantic. It means I use external factors to differentiate my platonic, romantic, and alterous feelings.

[alto]

Have you considered demiromantic?