Am I aromantic or just anxious??

[Guest guest123]

Can you help me please ? This is giving me so much anxiety,vwhat do you think?

Am I aromantic or it's just anxiety ?

Hi, I have some feelings that I don't know if is anxiety or if I'm aromantic, I can imagine me with the person, I want to date them, but when they are touching me or talking to me romantically I feel anxiety and want to run away from the situation? But I want to date the person, I'm also a very shy person.

I have the desire to get marry and etc, I've read about qpr and I don't feel good about it, for me it seems that something's missing.

Like for example when I go out I see some people that I would totally date, I live in a beach area, and I fall in love at least Three times everytime I go out haha, I'm not a hook up person, so when I'm talking to someone I'm thinking about relationship not just hook up.

I've flirted with some men on Instagram, I used to spend all day waiting for them to text me back.

English it's not my first language sorry :)

But when it comes to talk to the person irl, I feel so much anxiety and want to get out of the situation.

I was never a tender person, even with my friends, I didn't hold hands, hugs was only on birthdays, I had other ways to show love, like acts of service for example.

and it was also very difficult for me to receive affection from my parents they also had other ways of showing love (acts of service), so I grew up like this

And I'm pretty shy about talking about romance with people beside my friends, even my therapist I can't talk about it, I feel shy

If I have a crush on someone I saw on the internet still counts as romantic attraction?? like i'm watching TikTok and there's some women there that i would totally date, there's one where I can totally imagine me with her and I feel butterflies and so much desire. i've seem some people saying that "celebrity" crushes are not real crushes. but these women are not celebrites. when i watching a movie/serie and there's some actress that i have a celebrity crush on, and in the movie/serie she haves a romantic partner i can feel butterflies for her romantic partner, like they can kiss her and date her yk

[alto]

maybe you are romantic with anxiety?

[SwiftySpeedy]

prolly just anxious

[Guest Guest123]

1 hour ago, alto said:

maybe you are romantic with anxiety?

Sorry I didn't understand 

 I've always had some feelings towards women that idk what this could mean Is this romantic attraction? I thought so, but since a person told me I might me aro I'm very confused and I'm doubting everything 

 

 

 

I had a teacher that I thought was so pretty and so interesting and everytime she talked to me I immediately blushed, I couldn't look at her, when I was seated next to her I felt so nervous, I wanted her to notice me.

 

 

 

There was a friend of mine back in school,that I thought was really beautiful too, I felt nervous around her and I couldn't talk to her like I talked to my other friends, I remember when I arrived at school and it was just her and me I felt really nervous, then one day, I was playing video games on my phone and my hair fell on my face, then she put her hand on my face to put my hair behind my ear, I immediately blushed and it was like the world stopped for a second.

 

In highschool there was this girl that I couldn't stop looking at her,I wanted to impress her, I wanted her to look and me and notice me, in a room full of people I could still feel her presence, I had dreams about her.

 

But I've never thought about doing something romantic with them, since I thought I was straight and that all women felt that way, so for me it was normal 

 

 

 

Last year I was in a restaurant and a woman so beautiful (imo) sat next to me and I felt really nervous, I started to fix my hair and my posture, I remember looking at her and she was looking me back and I looked away from being nervous, until this day I remember her hair, her clothes, her voice, what she said, I was pretty depressive at the time and I remember going back home so happy and energized, I wanted to go out again, to have a relationship.

[AstrophelDragon]

It sounds like you probably experience romantic attraction:

5 hours ago, Guest guest123 said:

I have the desire to get marry and etc, I've read about qpr and I don't feel good about it, for me it seems that something's missing.

 

5 hours ago, Guest guest123 said:

Like for example when I go out I see some people that I would totally date, I live in a beach area, and I fall in love at least Three times everytime I go out haha, I'm not a hook up person, so when I'm talking to someone I'm thinking about relationship not just hook up.

You seem to be interested in having romantic relationships with real people.

5 hours ago, Guest guest123 said:

But when it comes to talk to the person irl, I feel so much anxiety and want to get out of the situation.

So I would say you probably identified it correctly here, you just have a lot of anxiety

5 hours ago, Guest guest123 said:

I was never a tender person, even with my friends, I didn't hold hands, hugs was only on birthdays, I had other ways to show love, like acts of service for example.

And potentially a touch aversion, or just not caring as much about physical contact. Which is not required for romance, even if that's generally what you see in media

[Guest Guest123]

1 hour ago, AstrophelDragon said:

It sounds like you probably experience romantic attraction:

You seem to be interested in having romantic relationships with real people.

So I would say you probably identified it correctly here, you just have a lot of anxiety

And potentially a touch aversion, or just not caring as much about physical contact. Which is not required for romance, even if that's generally what you see in media

What is making me confused is that I feel anxious and want to run away from the situation 

 

 I've always had some feelings towards women that idk what this could mean Is this romantic attraction? I thought so, but since a person told me I might me aro I'm very confused and I'm doubting everything 

 

I had a teacher that I thought was so pretty and so interesting and everytime she talked to me I immediately blushed, I couldn't look at her, when I was seated next to her I felt so nervous, I wanted her to notice me.

 

There was a friend of mine back in school,that I thought was really beautiful too, I felt nervous around her and I couldn't talk to her like I talked to my other friends, I remember when I arrived at school and it was just her and me I felt really nervous, then one day, I was playing video games on my phone and my hair fell on my face, then she put her hand on my face to put my hair behind my ear, I immediately blushed and it was like the world stopped for a second.

In highschool there was this girl that I couldn't stop looking at her,I wanted to impress her, I wanted her to look and me and notice me, in a room full of people I could still feel her presence, I had dreams about her.

But I've never thought about doing something romantic with them, since I thought I was straight and that all women felt that way, so for me it was normal 

 

Last year I was in a restaurant and a woman so beautiful (imo) sat next to me and I felt really nervous, I started to fix my hair and my posture, I remember looking at her and she was looking me back and I looked away from being nervous, until this day I remember her hair, her clothes, her voice, what she said, I was pretty depressive at the time and I remember going back home so happy and energized, I wanted to go out again, to have a relationship.

[Holmbo]

You're not gonna figure it out by thinking or talking to people online. You'll need experience to see what feels good or not. If your anxiety is preventing that you should probably see if it's possible to get professional help about it.

 

[AroAcedragon15]

sounds like just anxiety