Age to identify as aro

[Guest Rebekah]

I’m 15 and although I don’t identify as aroace yet, that’s kinda where my sexuality hangs out. I’ve already made up my mind that I’m gonna wait a bit till I actually identify as that but I still can’t decide at what age is a good time to start. What age do you think you can confidently identify as aroace without there being to much of a likelihood that it’ll change in the future?

[Ghostflower]

I think that you can identify as aroace whenever! :) I came to the aro-spec label in my early 20s, but asexuality resonated with me when I was closer to 12 or 13.  I suppose that there was always a chance that my sexuality would have shifted (it hasn't yet), but I think that's just as true when you're 13 as it is when you're 43.  Life is all about changes, and your identities can shift as much as anything else.  Worst case, a label that once resonated with you loses its relevance over time, and you can find a new label that you like better.  Rest assured, if anyone tries to "police" your identity and is upset with you for growing into a different person, then the fault is their own, not yours! <3

[me_kachu]

Hey, I realised when I was 8, now I'm 14 and still aroace! Just do it now and if it changes, it changes!

[alto]

I suspected I was aro when I was 17...realized for sure when I was in my mid-twenties.  Don't worry.  It'll come to you.

[roboticanary]

 

On 8/7/2023 at 6:04 AM, Guest Rebekah said:

What age do you think you can confidently identify as aroace without there being to much of a likelihood that it’ll change in the future?

Some people will have a fairly substantial change in their identity well into middle age. Some people will be assured in who they are and what they want from a very young age.

Sure, being comfortable in an identity for longer probably makes it more likely you will be like that for life, but that likelihood depends on you. What your experience is.

Its perhaps not a clean numerical answer that you would like to hear, but you can identify confidently in something when you are confident. 

For now, if you arent confident, just keep chilling, keep living your life and try out experiences you are comfortable with, refuse what you arent and eithe that confidence will slowly  build up or you will change your ideas of identity. Either is great.