Two questions, can you help me?

[Guest page28]

- if i had a crush on someone i see on internet is still romantic attraction? like i'm watching TikTok and there's some women there that i would totally date. i've seem some people saying that "celebrity" crushes are not real crushes. but these women are not celebrites. when i watching a movie/serie and there's some actress that i have a celebrity crush on, and in the movie/serie she haves a romantic partner i can feel butterflies for her romantic partner, like they can kiss her and date her yk.

- what was the signs that made you realize your crush was actually a squish??

 

sorry about my english

[Ghostflower]

I don't have experience in distinguishing crushes from squishes, but I do have a bit of experience with crushing on strangers.

In my opinion, crushes on strangers (be they celebrities or random TikTok users) DO seem to be connected to attraction.  I am asexual, not demisexual, but I believe that demisexual folks are less likely to be sexually attracted to a celebrity or random person online.  This seems to imply that sexual attraction is at play. 

Similarly, I imagine that crushes, even the instant/fleeting type on strangers and celebrities, still constitute a form of romantic attraction.  For instance, I used to call myself a hopeless romantic, because I would often recognize moments in real life that reminded me of meet-cutes in novels and movies, and this would lead me to daydream about a romantic relationship with someone I'd just met.  I barely knew those people, and I've shared this experience with alloromantic friends, who cannot relate.

Perhaps this is an example of me being aromantic (specifically WTFromantic) and idealizing romance as something greater than what it is.  But it does seem like not everyone forms crushes so quickly, and even if those "crushes" disappear soon afterward, I would consider them to be a marker of some form of attraction. 

So, while my word is definitely not law (because this is YOUR experience we're talking about, and I barely understand romance and crushes myself at this point), I think that yes, crushing on people you see online is still romantic attraction.

[Holmbo]

I think it depends if it's only in the internet context you have a crush on them. Do you think if you went on a date with them and had a irl interaction you'd still feel romantic attraction to them? Of course that's hard to say but if you've only been romantically attracted to someone you've not interacted with in real life it seems different than how most people experience romantic attraction.

[Guest Page28]

On 8/25/2023 at 3:05 AM, Holmbo said:

I think it depends if it's only in the internet context you have a crush on them. Do you think if you went on a date with them and had a irl interaction you'd still feel romantic attraction to them? Of course that's hard to say but if you've only been romantically attracted to someone you've not interacted with in real life it seems different than how most people experience romantic attraction.

I've made this post because since someone told me that I could be aro I'm very confused.

 I've always had some feelings towards women that idk what this could mean Is this romantic attraction? I thought so, but since that person told me I might me aro I'm very confused and I'm doubting everything 

 

I had a teacher that I thought was so pretty and so interesting and everytime she talked to me I immediately blushed, I couldn't look at her, when I was seated next to her I felt so nervous, I wanted her to notice me.

 

There was a friend of mine back in school,that I thought was really beautiful too, I felt nervous around her and I couldn't talk to her like I talked to my other friends, I remember when I arrived at school and it was just her and me I felt really nervous, then one day, I was playing video games on my phone and my hair fell on my face, then she put her hand on my face to put my hair behind my ear, I immediately blushed and it was like the world stopped for a second.

In highschool there was this girl that I couldn't stop looking at her,I wanted to impress her, I wanted her to look and me and notice me, in a room full of people I could still feel her presence, I had dreams about her.

But I've never thought about doing something romantic with them, since I thought I was straight and that all women felt that way, so for me it was normal 

 

Last year I was in a restaurant and a woman so beautiful (imo) sat next to me and I felt really nervous, I started to fix my hair and my posture, I remember looking at her and she was looking me back and I looked away from being nervous, until this day I remember her hair, her clothes, her voice, what she said, I was pretty depressive at the time and I remember going back home so happy and energized, I wanted to go out again, to have a relationship.

If I have a crush on someone I saw on the internet still counts as romantic attraction?? like i'm watching TikTok and there's some women there that i would totally date, there's one where I can totally imagine me with her and I feel butterflies and so much desire. i've seem some people saying that "celebrity" crushes are not real crushes. but these women are not celebrites. when i watching a movie/serie and there's some actress that i have a celebrity crush on, and in the movie/serie she haves a romantic partner i can feel butterflies for her romantic partner, like they can kiss her and date her yk

Like for example when I go out I see some people that I would totally date, I live in a beach area, and I fall in love at least Three times everytime I go out haha, I'm not a hook up person, so when I'm talking to someone I'm thinking about relationship not just hook up.

I've flirted with some men on Instagram, I used to spend all day waiting for them to text me back.

But when it comes to talk to the person irl, I feel so much anxiety and want to get out of the situation

[Jot-Aro Kujo]

Sounds like romantic attraction to me. Didn’t you already ask this once? I’m not saying that to be mean or anything- It’s just that I remember this story, so why not try going back and pondering the answers people gave last time? Also, have you spoken to any alloromantic lesbians about your experience?