LeGens Posted May 5, 2023 Share Posted May 5, 2023 I am still in the closet and all of my friends are allo. Through most of High School, it was not a problem to just, not date. I did not even know I was aro at the time. I just thought that I simply was not into romance and that, one day, I would be. But it never happened. I am still single and I am not only not interested in a relationship, but I never felt this kind of attraction and I doubt I will ever feel it. All my friends are still looking for a relationship and, even if most of them don't really ask about my situation, some do. It's hard to just exist next to them when all they talk about his their future with their partner or every time they ask me 'Do you find anyone cute?' or when they say 'You'll find someone'. I understand there sentiment, but I also know that they would not understand if I ever came out. It also makes me feel kind of lonely... even if I cannot see myself in a relationship, the fact that romance is seen as an obligated part of life makes it even harder to imagine how my futur will be... Anyway, sorry for the vent. It's getting late where I am right now. I was just wondering: what do you guys usually do when you feel this type of pressure regarding your friends and family? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Isa1116 Posted May 5, 2023 Share Posted May 5, 2023 I'm really sorry for u... I kind of get it, people don't really ask me that stuff since I'm still pretty young but sometimes people do and that sucks. I hope you can start feeling better and I am here for u :) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nonmerci Posted May 5, 2023 Share Posted May 5, 2023 (edited) I am lucky, we don't talk a lot about that seuff with my friends... Except with the one who is complaining cause her mother tries to organize an arranged marriage for years, but, well, she us escaping it, not wishing for it, so we understand together just well. I think it is best, if you are comfortable, to explain your situation, even if you don't use the word "aromantic". If not, they'll just keep assuming. I agree this is very annoying. People try to be supportive when they say that, but real support os when you listen to what the other wants. Edited May 5, 2023 by nonmerci 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Aro Mando Echo Posted May 5, 2023 Share Posted May 5, 2023 When I'm in that situation I usually just say " I'm focusing more on myself right now," or "I'm not really interested in a relationship." But I know that those are more temporary fixes and don't address the real issues. If they start to get really pushy, you could set some boundaries by telling them you aren't interested in others in that way or something (Similar to what nonmerci was saying- you don't necessarily need to use the term Aromantic.) I'm sorry you're feeling pressured, I think some allos just genuinely can't understand aromanticism, and it sounds like your friends are trying to relate with you. I hope your friends understand that being in a romantic relationship is not a priority for you, and they support you for it! :) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.