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I might not be aro. I found out something about myself.

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Posting this in hopes that it might help someone.
So... I've been here for a while now but I found out something interesting recently & I thought I'd share. First of all, no, I didn't fall in love. I found out that I have a condition.  I've never really been able to feel happiness before. What I was calling 'happy' was really more like a lack of being sad or angry. In other words, what I was calling 'happy' was, in fact, just neural. No, I don't know the exact name of the condition yet. I'll get back to you on that. But this explains sooo much in my life! I always wondered why everyone else seemed to care about stuff like eating & music. I'd also wondered why everyone seemed to really enjoy being around each other, as if it were actually a meaningful thing to be in the room with a person they cared about. I'm fully able to care for someone's well being & to think well of them as a person, but I've never found it particularly meaningful to just be around them. I also never had self esteem issues or the need for others to like me (as that need comes from the happy chemicals that are supposed to be released when you spend time socializing) Well, falling in love also relates to intense happy feelings when you spend time with a person, so... Yeah. I might not be fully aro after all. On the up side, once I get this treated, I'll actually be able to experience positive emotions sometimes, so yay!

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