Aversa Posted October 14, 2022 Share Posted October 14, 2022 Hellow dear A-Specs! As a Cupioromantic, who never had a Relationship or QPR I am very curious about how you got where you guys are now. It's hard to believe that this is even possible if you are AroAce and never ever have romantic or sexual attraction! Cuz how do you even get close in that way then? Oh, well or it's just me since I have problems to iniciate physical contact of any kind? Idk, but I would be happy to hear about your journey! How did you meet? What made you decide that you want to be with them? Did you ever feel guilt because you don't feel the same way as them? Do you cuddle and stuff like that? Etc. I wish you all the best ♡ regardless of your choice to answer or not 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovebird Posted October 14, 2022 Share Posted October 14, 2022 My boyfriend and I are both arospec (I'm greyro & cupio, he's nebularomantic). We met via a Facebook group chat from a mutual friend, we had the same interests so he added me and started talking. It slowly became a friends-to-lovers relationship, he confessed he liked me, and I was sort of confused because I didn't know how to properly respond and I wasn't sure if I liked him romantically or not, so I sort of said yes on impulse 😅 We've been together for nearly 5 years now, we're in an LDR but we've seen each others faces and such via video chat. I'm always wishing he comes over and visits someday, of which if he does I'll want to expand our horizons from there. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aversa Posted October 15, 2022 Author Share Posted October 15, 2022 That is really cute @Lovebird! So happy for the both of you :'D Thanks for sharing. I also never know how to feel about confessions! The last time I said yes on impulse was a disaster lol. Good that it was the right person who told you :'> 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovebird Posted October 16, 2022 Share Posted October 16, 2022 12 hours ago, Aversa said: That is really cute @Lovebird! So happy for the both of you :'D Thanks for sharing. I also never know how to feel about confessions! The last time I said yes on impulse was a disaster lol. Good that it was the right person who told you :'> I'm very happy to be with someone who treats me with respect as my last ex was unfortunately quite toxic and didn't respect the fact I had cognitive disabilities (despite him being autistic). After that, it left me with sour taste towards romantic relationships; Which was unfortunate for me as I'm quite a romo aro and fantasise a lot about romantic coded things. But after meeting my current s/o I feel so much happier 😊 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Squash Two Posted January 9, 2023 Share Posted January 9, 2023 Hi there! I’m aroace and married to an allo person. Basically how we got together was, we had been friends for a while, and quickly became best friends who spent a lot of time together. I was comfortable sharing my identity and the details of my aspec experience with her, and she was genuinely interested in finding out more about it. I think this was when I first thought she might be interested in me. It was so subtle that I assumed it wouldn’t matter, because she knew I was uninterested in a relationship and still wanted to spend time with me. It got to the point that I would spend the weekends at her house, and when we were apart we would still talk about our hopes for the future (children/no children, what kind out house, job, pets, etc.) I realized that I wanted to build my life with her, despite not having the same type of feelings, which I had been noticing coming from her. I told her how I felt, and she was thrilled. A lot has happened since then, and it was at times very difficult. We loved each other, but the love we had and the love we needed were sometimes at odds. It took years until we were certain that our relationship could last. Regarding your concerns: yes, I have felt guilty at times. The best thing to do is be transparent about how you feel, with regards to your own wants/needs, but also towards them. This includes not lying to yourself. When you communicate and understand each other, guilt fades away. Physically most of our contact would probably be considered platonic. We do kiss and cuddle, but not that much. We are not shy around each other, but contact does not really do all that much for either of us. There were periods in our relationship where we tried more physical affection, and it was okay sometimes, but it also felt a bit off. There are many ways to be close, and we prefer other ways than physical. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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